Shadow of the Day (Wolf Moon Sequel)

Chapter 66: Time

Ivy POV

I wasn't alone. Without even opening my eyes I could hear Lila and Dad's breathing, make out the faint out of sync thump of what I realized was their hearts as they slept. It only made my chest feel that much more hollow by comparison. No matter how I placed my hand over my chest, over my throat, there was no pulse, no heartbeat, no blood pumping. 

Wyatt had told me I'd completed my Change last night, that this was all perfectly normal, and that I'd be okay after I'd adjust, but I wasn't so sure I'd ever get used to my heart no longer beating.

I mean, that was how I could tell I was getting to my limit in gym class, when I thought I was scared to death by Lila leaping out from behind a door to give me a fright but it kept on beating and letting me know I was still alive and hadn't had a heart attack somehow. The race in my pulse when Matt smiled at me in just the right way that made me feel so alive. 

It was all gone.

How could it be okay or make sense to be upright and living without a beating heart? Was I just supposed to go about my day like usual and pretend nothing had changed? Go to school, hang out with Lila and friends, with Dad, and act like I was a regular person?

Dad stirred somewhere on the floor in front of me. They'd slept in my room again like when I'd been sick and first come home from being with Joe. Was that even safe for them to be so close to me? Was I going to be some senseless monster like Devin? Wyatt didn't seem monstrous, but I didn't know what I was doing. Or what I even was anymore.

I kept my eyes shut as I focused on my soft blankets tucked around me, my pillow squished all out of shape under my head, and struggled to remember to breathe and keep it smooth and even and how could I even still breathe when I had no beating heart to spread the oxygen around? It didn't make any sense.

Blankets swished as Dad extricated himself from his makeshift bed on the floor, creeping closer my way and I had to remember not to hold my breath. I couldn't stop my twitch when his hand brushed my forehead and he froze until I breathed out and relaxed, tried to rally some of my calm and make it look like I was still asleep. His touch was brief but gentle before he retreated and crept out of my room without a word, closing the door behind him with a click. 

"You need to practice pretending to be asleep more," came Lila's sleepy whisper behind me. I jumped, accidentally kicking her in the leg and she hissed in pain. "Hey!"

"Sorry!" I whispered back as I turned so quickly around to face her I got tangled in my sheets. My aggravated movements seemed to make it worse but I finally managed to somewhat free myself, though I really wanted to toss all the blankets down to the floor and be free. "I didn't know you were awake."

"Yes, because I'm good at pretending." Her knee came up as she reached to grab her calf under the blankets, face drawn in a wince. "I'm going to have to get used to your whole super strength thing. Jeez."

It had barely been five minutes and already I was hurting people. She must have seen the panic on my face because she continued on.

"Relax, it happens. You should have seen how many times I accidentally bit or scratched Wyatt, I consider myself lucky that all I got was a kick in the leg."

I wasn't sure if that was comforting or frightening. I didn't want to hurt people and clearly I already was and I hadn't even left my bed yet. Who knew what I would do if I was in school and accidentally bumped into someone? Or--oh my God--what about blood? Wyatt supposedly didn't hunt people, but where did he get blood from? How was I supposed to drink blood? I didn't even eat steak unless it was well over done, I hated bloody or raw meat!

"If it's any consolation, you had a way better time than Matt and I did," she added with a yawn, snuggling into her pillow, far more at ease than I could ever hope to be right now. "So how are we feeling this morning?"