Crazy In Love | Buggy

t w e n t y f o u r

- warning this chapter contains smut -

There were no words in the English language to describe how amazing it felt to finally kiss him. His lips were soft and puffy against mine. I could taste his clown makeup and I bet he could taste mine.

At first, the kiss had been soft, only lasting a couple of seconds. He had pulled back every so slightly, so his lips still touched mine but we were not fully kissing anymore.

The main thing I felt at that moment was frustration. I wanted - no needed to have his lips on mine again. All my reservations and moral issues had disappeared the second I had tasted him.

"Are you sure you just want one kiss?" He whispered against my lips softly.

As I stared into his eyes, I knew that I didn't just want one kiss. I didn't think any amount of kissing him would ever be enough to satisfy me.

Say stop, the logical part of my brain screamed. He's a monster. You can't kiss him!

But every other inch of my being screamed out for him. I couldn't resist. I was powerless against my attraction.

"Maybe just... a little more," I whispered back, which made him smile like an idiot.

It was me who initiated the second kiss, to my own disgust. I tangled my fingers into his long blue hair, which was tied up, pulling his head closer to me and pressed my lips against his.

The kiss was much more passionate than the first. It didn't even start off slow or gentle. Immediately, the kiss was deep. There was a hunger to it, an aggressive urgency to it. I parted my lips slightly, allowing his tongue to enter my mouth.

On his lips, I could still taste the rum he had drank earlier. It was bitter, but a good bitter. There was also a sweetness to them. He tasted so much better than I had ever even imagined.

Our bodies felt like they were melting into each other, as his arms wrapped around me, pulling me tightly against him. I could even feel his heartbeat from this proximity.

I could hear my own heartbeat, beating louder than a drum in my ears. It was loud enough to drown out the logical part of my brain that was screaming for me to stop.

His hands cupped onto my ass, grabbing onto me tightly as he lifted me up into the air. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist so that he was holding me in the air. Somehow, I just knew that's what he wanted me to do.

Once I was secure, holding tightly onto him with my legs, he allowed his hands to slither further up.

I gasped against his lips as he grasped my chest. Which, to be fair, probably didn't feel like much through the heavy leather suit I was wearing. But for me, it felt incredibly.

The hand that I had tangled into his hair stayed there, keeping a firm grip. I liked the feeling of having his beautiful hair in my grip. So many times I had fantasised about touching his blue locks, and now, I was finally doing it.

My other hand traced along his skin, across his jawline, down his neck and onto the top of his chest. I even gripped onto his big jacket, just so I could pull him in closer to me. I wanted to touch every part of him.

Our lips parted from one another after what felt like a lifteime of kissing. The only reason that we even stopped was because we both were out of breath. I opened my eyes at that moment to find his firmly locked onto me.

Through his heavy gasping for air, he said, "That was the best fucking kiss I've ever had."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Blush, too. I knew he was probably just saying it to be nice, but it still made me giddy.

"Ditto."

The look on his face was one that I wished I could see all of the time. It was so... loving looking. Gentle. His eyes were bright, his smile wide. In that moment, he looked as if he couldn't hurt a fly.

That's when reality started to hit me all at once. Because he could hurt a fly. He could even hurt humans, children too.

The memories of today came flooding back, as did the ones back in my town. All I felt then was disgust. Disgust at myself.

He seemed to notice my face dropping because the soft, kind look on his face was replaced by a darkness. Like a dark storm cloud.

"Can't we just keep having fun?" He asked gently, it almost sounding like he was pleading.

I wanted to. God, how I wanted to. But how could I live with myself if I went there with someone like him?

My eyes broke the eye contact. I couldn't bear to look at him directly in the eyes. Or maybe I knew that his eyes were so beautiful that I would just want to kiss him again if I looked at them.

"Put me down," I told him firmly.

He didn't argue. He immediately put me back onto my feet, walking away to sink into one of the couches.

"You overthink too much."

I crossed my arms protectively over my chest. "No, I just wasn't thinking when you kissed me -"

"No. I won't let you re-write what happened," He told me firmly. "You kissed me."

"I know! God, I know and I hate myself for it," I yelled through the tears that had already started forming in my eyes. "I promised myself I wouldn't."

"Why? Why rob yourself of pleasurable experiences? Life is too short for that."

"Because unlike you, I have a moral compass. I can't do stuff like that with people like you."

"Again, you think everything is black and white. Most people have good and bad parts to them. You do, too. I bet I could corrupt you, if I really wanted to."

"I won't let you do that."

"You almost let me do worse than that," He teased, grinning like a devil.

It made me feel gross, pathetic. I had promised myself that I wouldn't allow anything to happen between us. How could I allow a man like that to touch me?

My entire body screamed that I needed to get the hell away from him. So, I did.

I ran, ran out of the house, and into the dense jungle surrounding us.

🤡

it's harder than I thought to write smut-y things but I hope I did an okay job! please let me know!

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published 6th October 2023