A Helping Hand | MYG & KTH

14 ~ Monsters Hiding in Broad Daylight

After making Hoseok some tea, I make my way towards the living room, having one more target to address before it's finally time to sit down with my brother. I know this means I won't get to Taehyung until tomorrow, but I feel it may be in both of our better interests for such conversation to wait until tomorrow.

"Jungkook, think you're up for a quick chat?" I ask gently as I approach the couch he'd been curled up on with Yoongi and Jimin from behind. His head turns back to look at me, pursing his lips before facing forward again and dragging himself to his feet wordlessly.

I offer him a small smile when he's facing my direction, though he doesn't return it as he lets me lead him over to my studio and shutting the door softly behind the both of us. He moves to sit on the couch, but doesn't hesitate to pat the spot beside of himself as he looks up at me, and it gives me hope that he's not nearly as against all of this as everyone else has been.

"You're not afraid of me?" Jungkook mumbles when I sit down beside of him without an ounce of hesitation, an innocent pout tugging at his lips at this. I smile lightly at this, shaking my head before looking back over at him. I'd read his file, read when everyone had had to say about him when Sejin had given me the folder. He got rather fucked over in this whole process.

"There's nothing about you to elicit fear in others, Jungkook." I inform him softly, reaching a hand out to rub at his back gently. The way he's acting, how innocent he's looking, how small he's appearing in this moment, it reminds me so much of the small stone I'd visited earlier in the day, and it breaks my heart that someone who's made it this far in life and been through as much life as he has is sat here with the same innocence.

"That's not true." Jungkook murmurs sadly, head turning to gaze down at his hands that are clasped between his knees where his elbows are rested. It brings a frown to my face, and it sends my anger boiling all over again, despising the fact that anyone has made him feel this way.

"You were misdiagnosed, by the way." I mention casually as I look towards the distorted glass of my door, feeling his gaze snap back over in my direction. I have no doubt his eyes are wide at the moment, but I don't bother looking back over at him yet.

"What do you mean?" He breathes out, and I can hear just how desperate he is to be told he's not nearly as fucked up as what he's been led to feel. I let out a small sigh before turning my head to look back over in his direction, offering him a small smile once more.

"The man who diagnosed you, he's known for misdiagnosing people so that he can lock them up. You're not bipolar, Jungkook, you're just depressed as hell. That's natural when you've gone through what you have. You were traumatized by what happened, and that can trigger these kinds of things sometimes. He took advantage of how quickly things had happened in order to claim that you had had an extended manic episode before the depressive episode begun, that wasn't what happened." I explain lightly, watching the relief wash over him instantly.

"Now why don't you tell me about what happened, hm? I know it's not a much better topic, but it is what I need to know." I prod carefully, not wanting to break him down so quickly. He takes a deep breath at this though, reluctantly nodding in agreement.

"I feel like you've already heard a lot of this from the others. The transition from school to being completely done to going on tour was weird though. Jimin, Tae and I all graduated together. It was so exciting and such a happy time and then all of the sudden we didn't have anything to do for school and we had a bunch of time on our hands because of it, which granted was limited since we were going on tour soon. None of us really knew what to do with ourselves with all the extra time on our hands. I think there was so much time that we were stuck not knowing and nothing sounded like quite the right way to spend our newfound freedom.

"We ended up just lazing around and relaxing, knowing that the tour was coming and that things were going to pick up because of that soon enough. It was weird the way it all happened. It went from being the happiest moment of our lives, and quickly dwindled from there. Suddenly Jimin was struggling and Tae was angry all the fucking time. Everyone was trying to spend time with the two of them and focusing on them and trying to figure out what we could do to try and make things better. I would try to make suggestions during those times, but it was like Yoongi was the only one to ever hear me.

"If anyone did hear me, I'd get shot down. Half the time at least, Yoongi was the only one to hear me though. He was the only one who seemed like he was actually fully aware of the entire makeup of the band, it was like he was seeing it all from the outside with the way he was the only one to see the way every single one of us was struggling. The way he tried to spend time with everyone, the way he tried to take care of all of us. After a month of trying to speak up, of trying to help, I gave up. Jimin and Tae didn't wanna talk to me, and nobody else other than Yoongi would bother to hear me.

"I figured I'd just stay out of everything that way I'd be out of everyone's way, and that way I was one less burden on Yoongi hyung. It was hard watching everyone fall apart and lose themselves in different ways. And I hated the feeling of being completely useless, I couldn't seem to do anything to help anyone. I didn't really expect that going to see the doctor was going to result in me being locked up, but I didn't bother fighting it either. I figured it was what everyone else had been hoping would happen so that I'd be out of their way once and for all then." He's got tears rolling down his cheeks by the time he's finished, and I hate how broken up he looks from all of this.

"I'm sorry no one else saw you during those times, Jungkook. I hope you know that I see you and that I hear you though. I won't let that continue on any longer. I promise." I breathe out, continuing to rub his back gently. He looks over to me at this, sniffling as he lifts a hand up to wipe at his tears.

"You're gonna help us right? Help everyone to quit feeling so shitty?" He checks, words shaky. I merely nod at this, confirming his hopes. He sucks in a deep breath at this, nodding as well before he's looking down to his feet.

"Thank you. Thank you for helping us. For not giving up on us." Jungkook murmurs before sitting up better so that he can lean back against the couch. I move my arm so that it's not in his way to do this, and I watch as his gaze finds its way back over to me.

"You have a lot of tattoos, don't you?" He mumbles, and I know he's asking as a way to help himself move on from thinking about what we'd just been talking about. It's the only reason I divulge in his interest, knowing there's no other reason that I'd ever allow someone to get me talking about my tattoos like this otherwise.

"I do. You're the first person to say anything about them." I respond before leaning back against the couch as well. He hums at this information, seemingly thinking about something or another.

"Do they hurt?"

The question takes my breath away for a moment, having to remind myself that he's merely asking about the process of actually receiving the ink, not about what they are or why they are. It takes me a minute though, before I can find it in myself to answer.

"That depends on what your pain tolerance is. For someone who has a low pain tolerance, they would hurt like hell. For someone who has a rather high pain tolerance, they aren't too bad. Why?" I elaborate, wondering where exactly he's going with this. He bites his lower lip at the question for a moment, gaze seemingly locked on one of the ones that's poking out from my zip up.

"I've always loved tattoos, always thought they were really cool. I always thought they were a really unique form of self expression, a form of art all of their own. I've thought about getting some before, have had the thought for a really long time. I've always been afraid that it would get me into trouble though, or that something would happen, that I'd get judged for it." Jungkook explains, sounding more intrigued than intimidated at this point.

"I guess we'll just have to see what we can do about that then, hm?"