A Helping Hand | MYG & KTH

4 ~ Breaking Point

"Think you feel ready enough to talk to me about what happened and how you've been feeling and dealing with everything now, Yoongi?" I ask gently once we've gotten sat back down together. He's now holding a large warm mug of hot chocolate between his hands, though I quickly find him nuzzling himself up to my side at the question.

I'm more than surprised by his actions, though not wanting to scare him off, I slowly move myself to wrap an arm around his shoulders, hoping I'm providing him with whatever it is he's looking for from this. He sighs seemingly in content at this, and I have to force myself to relax so as not to make him feel awkward or uncomfortable.

"I'm never gonna be ready for any sort of conversation that comes with that specific topic. I feel a lot better though, Jae. Thank you." Yoongi mumbles softly, snuggling up a little closer to me. I find a small smile forming at his little actions, understanding by this point why exactly he'd been afraid of me judging him as such a child. It's somewhat cute though, endearing in a way that it was simply hot chocolate that he was hoping for and a little bit of physical comforting that he needed.

I don't bother responding to him though, simply rubbing my hand up and down his upper arm in hopes of helping him feel a tiny bit better to talk about what's been happening.

"It... It all happened so fast, Jae. Not two months after it all started and I was already alone. It... It all started with Jiminie. He... He'd been receiving a lot more hate than usual, something we had all noticed. We were all trying our best to support him through it all because we know how sensitive he is with that stuff. Tae was slowly growing angrier over the hate that was being sent Jimin's way, so he'd always storm off when the topic came up after a while. It weighed a lot on Jimin though, those two are closest to each other. However, it was after our last performance, about three months ago now, when everything really started. When it all began falling apart.

"During that performance, Jiminie slipped. It had rained just a half hour before we got on stage to start the concert, so we were all trying to be careful with our dances that night so that nobody would get hurt. While Jimin didn't physically get hurt, it ruined him mentally. Tae had been the one to find him later that night with the bathroom door shut and water overflowing to the point that it was seeping out under the door. I think that was both Tae's breaking point as well as Jin hyung's. I don't think it was more than maybe a couple days later when I'd walked into his room to see if he was ready to visit Jiminie, finding him shirtless with cuts lining his forearms.

"I tried. I tried really hard to get him to stop, told him that he couldn't be doing that, that it wouldn't help anyone nor himself, that what he was doing to himself wasn't necessary and that he could talk to me instead. It was a week after that, when I got the call that Tae had been arrested and had to break the news to those that were still home that he wouldn't be coming back for a while. That night... That was probably one of the worst nights. I went to the hospital to visit Jiminie and to let him know about Tae. The doctors told us that he wouldn't be allowed to go home and that they'd be sending him to a care facility since he had made an attempt on his own lift. I came home from that to find Namjoon sat at the dining table with a bottle of soju sat on the table in front of him that was already half empty. I went upstairs to talk to Jin hyung, only to find him with barely any pulse left.

"Jin hyung ended up in the care facility as well, once they got him stable and had him awake. I finally tried to get the rest of us to sit down together so that we could all talk, to try and help them. That's when I finally found out that Hobi had somehow gotten ahold of drugs. I think that's when the last straw broke for everyone, was when they found out Jin hyung wasn't coming home either. A few days after we'd all sat down together, I'd been talking to Jungkook and Joon about getting them in to see a doctor. I'd been worried about what Joon was doing to himself, and I thought it might be good for Kook to see a doctor to at least get some help, he'd been showing signs that he was beginning to get worse on his own and I wanted to make sure however he was doing mentally, that he'd get the help needed. I set up those appointments, and then had gone to see if I could get Hobi to make some changes as well. I wanted to try and get him off the damn drugs but I was too late for that conversation. Next thing I knew, I was rushing him to the hospital because he'd overdosed.

"Jae, within the span of a week, all three got admitted to the hospital for long term stay. Both Joon and Kookie got worse after Hobi's incident, and so the doctors didn't want to release them when they went in for the appointments. They diagnosed Kookie with bipolar disorder and because of how he acted during his appointment, they thought he'd be better off and safer for everyone if he were admitted. They wouldn't let me take him home." Yoongi explains in a quiet voice, not looking up at me once.

"And how've you been handling everything happening? How've you been feeling?" I prod lightly, not wanting to upset the older boy as he takes a sip from the mug. He lets out a small sigh at this though, shifting slightly against me to be more curled up into my side.

"It's been hard. I dunno... I guess I've just been kind of scared and lost. I don't really know what to do anymore. I've been trying to write but all I really can do is make the melodies and drink either hot chocolate or tea. It's all I've really been able to do to try and keep myself calm and at least a little bit sane.