Until they tear us apart. | l.s.

45

Harry was staring at the same spot of his hospital room for hours now without moving or acknowledging anyone who came inside either to check his IV or to change his bandage. It was already dark outside despite it only being four p.m. and he constantly wondered if Louis was already home or not, not able to think of anything or anyone else.

That he left him again was painful and he knew it would take a long time until he could properly deal with it and move on eventually, but somehow it wasn't as destroying and heartbreaking as he was feeling the last few days anymore. Of course he was suffering badly, but hearing Louis saying that he loved him made everything a little better. Not good, but better.

A knock on the door neither made him flinch nor react at all and he didn't move a muscle on his face when Jay sat down on the chair next to his bed.

"Darling?" She asked softly and grabbed his hand. "I talked to the doc and he said you can go home if you want to. They wanted to keep you here until tomorrow, but I told him you would rest at home as well and I don't want you to stay in the hospital over Christmas."

"I don't want to go home." Harry muttered emotionless.

"Is it better to stay here?" Jay asked with a frown.

"Everything is better than going into this house with you and him present." Harry mumbled.

"Harry..." Jay said with a thick voice and squeezed his hand. "...I'm sorry." Just those two words made her well up and she didn't bother wiping the tears that ran down her cheeks.

He slowly turned his head seemingly unfazed seeing her crying, but something in his heart cracked and started to sting, a tiny crease erupted on his forehead.

"What are you sorry for?" He breathed out confused.

"I need to tell you something..." Jay sighed and reached in her handbag to get a tissue which she dabbed on her cheeks before she took the courage to look in her son's eyes. "I knew you were lying to me when you said you had to go to Robbie, so I followed you."

"Y-you what?" Harry's eyes grew comically wide and he swallowed thickly trying to get around what that meant now and he prepared for the worst.

"I heard your conversation. All of it." Jay continued with a strangled voice and broke out in tears once more. "I'm so sorry I didn't believe you, I'm sorry for taking him away from you, I'm sorry for everything and not being the mother you both needed! I shouldn't have believed he'd do that to you, but I-...I'm so sorry, Harry!"

Harry just stared that her unable to get a single word out and he just watched how Jay tried to gather herself so far that she could continue talking, but she was shaking and uncontrollably crying.

"Why?" Harry eventually breathed out. Jay's face changed into confusion and Harry cleared his throat to get rid of the feeling of slowly suffocating when his chest tightened and the air didn't seem to be enough around him. "Why now? Why do you believe it now, but never when I told you to for the last one and a half years?"

"B-because I thought you..." Jay started shakily and broke off to blow her nose before she could continue. "I thought you were just protecting him, but now...oh god!" Jay gasped with a shaky hand in front of her mouth when it shattered down to her that she let her husband disown their son without stepping in when he didn't do anything wrong and just fell in love with the wrong person and the pain she felt in her chest worsened to a point where she doubted she would ever be able to feel happiness again.

"I hope you could feel Louis' pain for having lost everything during that conversation the way I did and I hope you will suffer for it for the rest of your life." Harry said harshly, his eyes cold and empty when he stared at his mother whose face fell even more and she suppressed a sob. "I will never forgive you not only for taking him away from me, but doing this to him. Sending him into exile, leaving your only son all by himself and instead keeping your adopted son! What kind of fucked up parents do something like that? What kind of parents see their son on his birthday but only fight with him, reproach him, treat him like a stranger and threaten him when all he wants to do is the right thing? How can you live with yourself?"