Until they tear us apart. | l.s.

46

Silence.

Jay was sitting at the head of the set table, Harry to her left and Louis to her right who were both staring at the loaded plates in front of them, neither intending to say anything- because what should they even say? Should they explain to their mother how they fell in love, what happened between them before they even knew it and what they did since then?- nor picking up their cutlery and starting to eat.

The silence dragged on for minutes, the huge clock that was hanging in the living room ticking annoyingly.

"Aren't you hungry?" Jay asked cautiously, trying her best to keep a soft smile and tone to somehow lighten up the mood which she knew was impossible.

"Not really." Louis muttered, ignoring his grumbling stomach from not having eaten anything in almost a day. He couldn't act as if everything was okay now, he couldn't look at anyone and he couldn't pick up the word and start telling their story.

Harry sighed deeply, he was dying of hunger, but he doubted he could force anything down his throat at his anxiety on what was going on and why Louis arrived here suddenly with his mum. Not that he minded, not at all, because each second he saw him was a gift and he wanted to savour it for as long as he could until he'd say goodbye to him again- because he knew he was going to. He couldn't possibly stay forever, at the latest it would end in a fight when Mark came home from wherever.

He still grabbed his fork and picked in his food, occasionally bringing a bit to his mouth.

"So..." Jay cleared her throat and looked at her boys with observing eyes. "...do you want to talk about it now, or-"

"What exactly do you want to talk about?" Harry asked confused with a hint of a sour tone.

"I want to understand it. Genuinely. How it happened and how it came to all of this." Jay said honestly, her eyes switching between them when Harry's head snapped over to Louis who stiffened in his seat but didn't meet his eyes.

"Well, none of your business." Harry said sharply. "You heard the important things and either you believe it or not. I don't care."

"I'm trying here, Harry." Jay justified.

"This is trying for you?" Harry snapped and threw his fork on the table. "Where was your 'trying' the last one and a half years when you didn't listen to what I had to say?"

"I told you I'm sorry about it. I can't make it undone anymore, but I want to make it different now." Jay said calmly.

Louis observed their argument, his palms sweating in nervosity and he rather not talk about it, but he knew it was the only chance to somehow save the seemingly hopeless situation for all of them.

"Harry." He found himself saying before he could stop himself and Harry's head turned to him, they locked eyes and his anger vanished in an instant. "Let's just...get it over with, okay? That's what you wanted, right? You wanted to explain it to her."

Harry wanted to be stubborn just out of protest because he thought she didn't deserve an explanation, but Louis was right. It was in their hands now.

"Fine." He huffed.

"Okay, uhm..." Louis started slowly and fiddled with his fingers under the table. He was never nervous or at a loss of words, but now he weighed every of his words he was about to say not to make a mistake and ruin everything all over again. "...it kinda started when we got older and I, uh, well I noticed I started feeling...things. And with time when Harry got to the age as well when he started to get interested in relationship stuff and all that we talked a lot about it and somehow we uhm, we both realised we felt similar, towards each other..."