Last song

Seven

A few days later, I receive a voice message in the middle of the night that I don't know how to react to.

- "Uh... Simon. I'm probably going to babble at you for a few minutes and it probably won't make any sense, but I don't really care, I just have to talk about something that I can't tell Felice, because she might behead me, but yeah. A few hours ago, for a few days, Lia packed her things to go to a friend's house. She says she just needs a break, from everything, especially from me. And actually that should make me sad, but funnily enough I'm relieved... okay, that just sounded like an asshole... but you know what I mean? I still have no idea what to do now because we did not even broke up yet and I don't want to break her heart any more than I already did. But should I still break up with her now? Or just talk to her properly again? Is she breaking up with me? I really don't know. But what I know is that the probability of getting back together with her is very small because I don't actually want to anymore. Actually, I never wanted to... that sounded like a huge asshole again, sorry, but that's just how it is... oh God. If we break up I'll have to tell mom, she'll kill me. Simon, it was really nice meeting you... but seriously, how much shit is this going to be?! Sometimes I really just want to be an anonymous person, then at least I would only have to tell my family and friends and not the whole world. It's funny that I'm currently making a voice message to my ex-boyfriend telling him about my relationship problems. But you're lucky, I still trust you more than half of my current friends... I've been talking for far too long, sorry. You don't have to answer or anything... uh... thanks for listening I guess"

I heard the voice message five minutes after I received it and am still lying in bed wide awake. I have to process it all somehow.

Did something happen that caused Lia to leave? What does Wille mean by 'I never actually wanted to' and 'I don't want to break her heart any more than I already did'? And why the heck is he texting me at this time? Why am I still awake at this time?

After a few minutes I pick up my phone again.

~ Are you still awake?

- Yes

The answer comes promptly.

~ Why aren't you sleeping yet?

- Why aren't YOU sleeping yet?!

~ No idea. You?

- Can not
- As always

~What do you mean as always?

- I've had trouble sleeping for years
- My therapist gave me sedatives, but they don't help, so I don't take them anymore

~ You have a therapist?!

- Yes, since I left Hillerska

~Okay
~ Why?

- Mom forced it on me

~ Does it help?

- No idea

~ We are both still awake
~ Do you want to make a quick phone call?

My phone rings in response. I accept it, greet Wille briefly and turn on my bedside lamp. It's only when he stares at me strangely that I realize that I'm lying in bed half naked, but it doesn't matter, he has already seen me completely naked. I turn on my side, grinning shabbily.

We talk for a long time, about a lot of things that happened during the time we weren't in touch.

Wille talks about meetings in which he had coffee poured down his pants, about a morning when he was too lazy to get dressed properly, so he showed up at breakfast in his pajamas and got a load of curses from his mother because August was also there that morning, he also talks about his first encounter with Lia and how they got together.

I, in turn, talk about the break up with Marcus, about the founding of the band, about recording songs that we had to redo because we laughed too much and I also tell him that there are songs that are aimed at him, but I do not tell him which one.

He keeps asking questions throughout the rest of the conversation, hoping I'll tell him, but that doesn't happen.

I open my eyes. Where am I? After rubbing my eyes for a moment, I realize that I'm lying in my bed. What happened? Oh God.

I quickly look for my phone and finally see it leaning against my bedside lamp. The call is still ongoing. How embarrassing is that?!

Looking more closely at the screen, I see that Wille has his phone propped up somewhere next to his bed and that he is sleeping. And I'm glad he's sleeping. Last night he told me how bad it was, his sleep problems and stuff, and that's why it makes me so incredibly happy to see him sleeping.

Of course, it makes me happy to see him sleeping because the sight is just so cute. A slight smile crosses my lips. I actually don't want to think about things like that, but that's just how it is and it's slowly getting tiring to keep telling myself not to think like that, so I just leave it alone.

Yes, he's cute, yes he's more beautiful than anything else in this world and yes, the thought that he's almost single again makes me happy.