Last song

Fourteen

"But since you're older, Wilhelm and I notice that you are aware of the consequences of your relationship this time, you have my okay, under one condition." "And that would be?"

"We will work out rules this evening that will be presented to everyone, especially you, in tomorrow's morning meeting. And you will stick to them, even if you don't like them, okay?" Wille looks at me questioningly. I nod slowly.

"Okay. I also have a but" he pauses and grins. "I won't tell August. I want him to be there tomorrow, that you can tell him, but I really don't feel like discussing it with him alone." "We could organize that" his mother nods. "Great. Can we go now?" "Yes, as far as I'm concerned" we're going out.

When we got outside, Wille hugged me. We stand there like that for a long time because we both need it right now. After we separate, I kiss him briefly but lovingly.

"I don't want to bother you two, but I would really be interested to know how it went" says Malin. "It went great. But it was also kind of weird" answers Wille. "I'm happy for you" Malin seems for real happy about it.

"Take a deep breath. It's just like an interview." "In interviews, however, twenty people usually don't meet to discuss about my relationship with the Crown Prince of Sweden." Wille takes me in his arms. "We can do it. Together. Okay?" I nod. He kisses me on the forehead before slowly releasing me again.

The door opens and Wille goes in, I follow him. Of course, the first thing I have to look at is August, who can't seem to close his mouth anymore. "What is he doing here?!" he looks at Wille. "You'll find out soon" says Wille's mother.

"He has no right to be here!" "Shut up August" we sat down. "So, let’s get started" Wille’s mother turns to August. "You're the only one who doesn't know about it yet" she states. "About what?" "Wilhelm and Simon are a couple" August turns to us with a slightly angry expression on his face.

"Are you stupid?!" "No." Wille takes my hand. "Good, then we would have sorted that out too." Wille's mother opens a folder in which a piece of beige paper is filed. She gives everyone a sheet with a list of things on it.

Lots of rules for the staff and lots of rules of conduct for Wille and me. I would have done most of the things anyway. The most important things summarized:

We are not allowed to be seen together in public

The relationship is a secret

I am allowed to make public that I am in a relationship. However, I am not allowed to mention any numbers, names or anything else

If I want to post a picture with him online, he must not be recognizable in it and it must first be approved

I'll always have a bodyguard with me from now on in case it gets found out somehow, because safety first and all. I mean, some royal families always have to have black clothes when traveling in case someone dies, so from that point of view a bodyguard is harmless.

"And you really have to go?" I nod. "Yes. Otherwise I'll be late." Wille hugs me. "I will miss you" "I will miss you too" I kiss him long and lovingly. "We'll talk on the phone, okay?" he nods. "Bye" again, a last, short goodbye kiss. "Bye" I turn around with a smile and go down the stairs and before I get into my car I look at him again. He waves to me. I mouth 'I love you' and get in.

"There you are" Rob is standing at the door of the tour bus and grinning at me. "Did you have to say goodbye to your boyfriend?" he asks, grinning. "Shut up, idiot" I reply with a grin and get in.

1st concert
"How was it?" Wille looks questioningly into his phone camera. "Loud, full and beautiful" I list. "I'm happy about that" "And how was it with you?" Now I look questioningly into my phone camera. "Tirza was there briefly after you left because she forgot something at my place. And August texted me again about how irresponsible it would be for me to be with you." "So nothing special" "No"

2nd concert
"Look" I turn with my phone so that Wille can also see the sunset. It's orange, red and a bit yellow and one of the most beautiful I've ever seen. "Wow" Wille opens his curtains. "Look" it’s raining where he is. "Great isn't it?" he grins. "Stunning" I laugh.

3rd concert
"My father was here today" I lean my head against a wall. "Oh" Wille pauses for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head. "No" I take a deep breath. "I'm just surprised he's still alive given his consumption..."

4th concert
"I just saw your Instagram story" Wille grins. "I miss you too" I uploaded a picture of the two of us a few minutes ago. You can only see Wille from behind, as is required, and since the pictre is a bit dark, you can't see him at all. The text: 'I miss you' adorns the whole thing. "I love you" "I love you too"

Nothing special happens the next days. We rehearse, party, play concerts, party again, have fun, get harassed, laugh together, sleep, travel, sign autographs, take photos, receive gifts, do interviews, eat, drink, sleep again, wake up again and the whole thing repeats itself day after day.

I talk to Wille on the phone several times a day, text him every chance I get, I am asked questions about my relationship and my sexuality, I only answer the questions that I feel 100 percent comfortable with, cry with happiness, cry with sadness, I have absolutely no idea where it comes from, but it is there.

I miss Wille. His hugs, his kisses, his smell, his shoulder to lean on, his hands running through my curls, his voice without cracking because the connection isn't that great, his sweaters that smell like him, his face after he wakes up in the morning, his hand entangled in mine, I even now miss the way he hit me with a pillow and insulted me for eating his favorite sweets.

It's kind of weird since we've only been together again for a few weeks, but it just feels like forever. I love him more than anything, even if I suppressed it for a while, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, no doubt about it.