A Forbidden Happiness

Chapter 26

The cold hand of fright wrapped tightly around Jiayi's neck, making spots dance in the corner of her eyes. His woman? The Emperor was going to make Jiayi his woman? The thought of it stole the air from her lungs. The acrid taste of bile lingered in the back of her throat.

"A servant like–" Jiayi's tongue was limp and heavy, "A servant like me could never be worthy,"

"So modest," said De gui fei, "I suppose that's why The Empress Dowager is so eager to have you be by His Majesty's side,"

Jiayi's chest tightened as the pieces fell into place. The fawning, the gifts, all the mentions of Wei Jiayi's family.

It was so clear.

"This servant is not worthy,"

The ferocious bubbling in her stomach reached a fever pitch. Jiayi felt the world tilt before she retched on the floor. Jiayi stumbled away from the puddle of sick onto her knees. She couldn't pinpoint when she'd started crying, but her face was slick with tears.

"Mistress, I know I don't have the right to ask you for anything more than I already have, but if–if you can do this one thing for me, I'll do whatever you ask for the rest of my life. Please, please don't do this to me. I don't want to be his, I don't,"

Through the haze of her tears, Jiayi waited for Xiang gui ren to say anything. As the moment stretched on, Jiayi remembered an important fact.

She was just a maid.

Who cared what she wanted? Who cared how she felt? Xiang gui ren treated her well because an abused servant was easily stolen away. Xiang gui ren wasn't her friend. She was Jiayi's master. How could she be so tactless and make such an awkward scene for her mistress in front of De gui fei?

Jiayi wiped her face and took a deep breath, "This servant is too wordy. Please forgive me for the mess. I'll clean it up at once,"

Xiang gui ren didn't stop her. The room is empty when she returns with a pail of warm water to clean up the mess.

A quick splash of water and a few deep breaths was all it took to convince Molan that nothing was amiss. They waited on Xiang gui ren during dinner and then dressed her for bed. The reality of it all settled on Jiayi's shoulders like a lead cape. If The Emperor decided to make her a concubine, she could do nothing. If The Emperor wanted to shackle her to these walls, she could do nothing. Jiayi would be married to the man who killed her entire family, and she could do nothing.

Maybe a better person would take this opportunity and run with it. Slither into The Emperor's bed and spend what was left of her life poisoning the world around her and using misery and chaos to avenge the anger that had sunk into the marrow of her bones. But Jiayi didn't want that. She just wanted to be happy.

Was even something like that set aside for heaven's favorites? If that was the truth, why did the Gods continue to taunt her? She was happy enough with her family, and that was snatched away. She was happy enough in the Hard Labor camp, ignored and alone until Su gonggong noticed her. And now, when she was the happiest she'd been in years, it was going up in flames.

That night, Jiayi slipped away from her place at Xiang gui ren's side. Through the darkness, she walked to the empty western courtyard. There was a pond there that Sixth Prince had almost fallen into. De gui fei warned him that the pond was deeper than it looked and not very well looked after. If he fell in, it would take some time to find him.

With the new year coming soon, the odds of someone finding her in the pond were low. By the time any of her bits rose to the surface, Xiang gui ren would've moved on, maybe would've already been promoted to an Imperial Concubine. She, Molan, and everyone else would be gone, and Jiayi would become one of the many bodies that The Forbidden City had eaten alive. It felt both like an eternity and not when her foot finally hit the rocks edging the pond. There was no babbling water or croaking frogs or tittering dragonflies. Only nothingness. She crouched down and stuck her hand in the water. It wouldn't hurt. It would be like a deep sleep.