The Confusing Thing About Relationships

3

It's already been a week since I last left Amy's place and I've been on edge around Sally. But now it's time.

"Sal, let's talk"

"About what?"

".....kids, I wanna listen to you first before I say anything"

I could see her eyes light up as if there was hope.

"Oh Sonic!" She hugged me but for what? I haven't even agreed to have kids.

"Um, Sal? You know I'm not agreeing to anything just yet right?"

"I know it's just that....I'm happy that you can finally listen to me"

I haven't been really listening to her lately, have I?

I hugged her back, and I held her, this is the woman who I never want to hurt.

So I should feel guilty, I should hate myself for doing what I did, I shouldn't.... I shouldn't have the urge to go back to see Amy.

I've been stopping myself from texting Amy, from going back to her place, from going back to the bar just for the chance to see her again.

But the way she made me feel, she made me feel young like I still had some freedom. And the way she helped me that night.... She just made me feel better.

It was the risky thing we did that I loved the most. And it was out of love but not the type of love you have for a partner but a type of love you have for a friend.

I do love Sally but the feeling Amy gave me was something that I just wanted.....what I needed.

"I love you Sal" please believe me.

"I love you too Sonic"

We made our way to the living room where we sat down and began to talk.

"Okay Sal, talk to me, I'm all ears"

"Well, the reason I want to have a baby is that I've been feeling a little.....empty inside...I've been feeling like this for a while now and I didn't know why, so I tried to distract myself from that feeling by helping out my father with work or helping out people around town but that feeling didn't go away, until one day I help a man who was with his son and the way they bonded with so sweetly, I couldn't help but picture you like that with a child of our own and it made me feel whole again"

Wow...I didn't expect that, then again what was I expecting?

"Sally, we don't need to have a baby to feel whole, there's a lot of work and not to mention that they are loud and messy"

"But Sonic, don't you think it's time to start a family of our own"

"Sally, we have each other, isn't that enough?"

The hurt in her eyes caused me the most pain, I didn't like seeing her like this.

Even though I don't want kids, I also don't want to see Sally like that.

"Sal, I can see how much this means to you so I'll give it some thought, I promise to try and see the bright side of things to all this" I ended my sentence with a smile which made her hug me again.

"Oh Sonic thank you"

Yes, this was nice, I love seeing her happy.

"But how about we not bring this up until I'm ready to talk about it again, deal?" I held out my left hand to give her a shake, cheesy I know but I know she loved my quirkiness as I heard her giggle.

"Okay deal" she shook my hand.

Everything felt good again, well almost, there was another feeling....the lack of freedom, the overbearing weight of responsibilities, and the headache I was getting having to actually think about something this serious.