Ice, steel and shadows -ACOMAF au

Lilith

Feyre was absolutely livid with Tamlin- and honestly, I hardly blamed her. We had been at the Spring Court for three months since Amarantha's death, and while I was free to roam around- mostly, always being kept an eye on in case Rhysand decided to make an appearance- Feyre had been in house arrest.

Tamlin, after what he endured under the mountain, had a lot of issues- one of which being that he was overly protective of Feyre, and didn't let her out of the house for any reason. She begged and begged to go with him or Lucien on missions at nearby villages, to help in any way she could and was constantly denied.

It made her miserable- she wasn't even able to draw. I had visited Nesta and Elaine three times- once a month. They were safe and relatively happy. I didn't tell them anything- not about Feyre being Fae, not about what happened under the Mountain. I think Nesta understood most of it, but chose not to pester me.

Otherwise, I was residing at the Spring Court, keeping Feyre company and trying to keep her sane. Tamlin had proposed and they were getting married- I still had no idea what I'd do after the wedding. There were too many options and I was too confused.

I tried to put on a strong font for Feyre's shake, but truth was that I didn't sleep at night, that I didn't eat and that I was so, so scared. All the time, I felt like a giant worm would eat me alive, or spikes would crush me, or- or those Faeries I had killed would come for me. And that I'd deserve it too.

I was horrified, spending my nights sweating and vomiting over the toilet bowl. And there was the eye on my palm as well- always staring up at me, making me feel like I was watched all the time. Rhysand hadn't said a word in three months, but I was sure there was something coming up on the horizon. All for the bigger cause.

I didn't want to be thinking of Rhysand, as if my mere thoughts might summon him- and so I turned my attention to my pouting sister. She had once again begged Tamlin to take her with him to a nearby village to help and encourage the people, and he'd denied her.

"What do you want to do now, Feyre?" I asked my sister. "Perhaps a stroll at the gardens-" "Nonsense. Feyre is an engaged woman- she has a lot on her to-do list." I had to clench my teeth as Ianthe's high pitched voice echoed from somewhere behind me. Ianthe was one of the reasons I was extremely tempted to flee the Spring Court and never look back- Feyre seemed to like her as she chose pretty dresses and hairstyles for the soon-to-be queen, and worshipped the ground she and Tamlin stepped on, but I despised the High-Priestess.

I was half-certain she was feeding Tamlin those beliefs- "Oh Tamlin, Feyre is seen as a symbol of peace. She needs to be dressed up like a doll and shut inside her castle!" She also didn't particularly like me- "Oh Tamlin, I know the sister being around is good for Feyre, but she's practically an animal! Bony and ugly, and so, so stubborn!" She, in general pissed me off, for greater reasons I could hardly explain.

Lucien was the only one who seemed to get my dislike- but Lucien was hardly around. He was always wandering off on his own, keeping to himself- I understood- Amelia's betrayal was no little thing. "What's on the list for today Ianthe?" Feyre sighed, not even trying to deny the little wicked witch, with her gorgeous blue eyes, and the pale skin, and the blonde hair, and the blinding smile, and the rosy cheeks-

"We need to fix seating plans. For the wedding." Ianthe came into view, flashing us one of the infamous blinding smiles. Sometimes, I had the urge to punch her teeth out- no need for violence, Lilith, I scolded myself, before following my sister and the High Priestess inside the mansion.

Ianthe wasted no time before seating at the head of the table- a motion meant to show her dominance over us, and my sister sat by her side. Feeling unwanted and not needed, I slipped into the hallway, hoping to find Alis somewhere to gossip- luckily, she also wasn't Ianthe's biggest fan.

The best part of my day was when Lucien, Alis and I would get together and just talk about everything going on. Not war aftermath, or traumatic betrayals, but the wedding and our mutual dislike for Ianthe and other mindless gossips.

I seemed to be in luck- I spied Ali's' long brown hair and signature green scaly skin in the kitchens and lost no time before slipping in the room myself. The kitchens smelt of warm food and fresh oregano- I realised I was quite hungry. How long had it been since I had last eaten...?

I struggled to remember. My last meal was probably the previous day's breakfast- "Lilith? Are you listening to me?" Two long, scaly fingers snapped in front of my face and I involuntarily flinched. "Alis? No, sorry, I was distracted-" The maid tutted something under her breath before grasping my wrist, easily wrapping her fingers around it.

"For Mother's shake, could you get any skinnier? Are you even eating?" Without waiting for an answer, Alis set off, opening and shutting drawers with a new sense of determination and returning after a while with a plate full of food. "Lunch is rather soon-" I tried, but Alis shook her head firmly. "Sit down and eat. Now." I knew a command when I saw one, and so I did as Alis instructed, sitting down and taking the rather huge serving she'd made me.

I found that as I began eating I was unable to stop until my plate was shining as if it'd never been full to begin with. "Good girl." Alis murmured, after making sure I'd eaten everything. "How are you, Alis?" I asked, dabbing my mouth with a napkin and hoping I wouldn't vomit everything later on. "Fine. Same, old same." Alis shrugged. "Preparing food, cleaning, worrying about my nephews at the summer Court, trying not to strangle that High Bitch-"

I chocked on laughter at that new nickname of Ianthe- Lucien, Alis and I had taken to trying to find the most ridiculous thing to call Ianthe. Lucien and Alis were neck to neck, but Lucien had been previously winning with 'The High Suck-assness'. "Take that, Lucien." Alis proudly grinned. I shook my head in amusement.

"She's currently with my sister- something about seating charts. I really wanted to head-bump her." I said, dreaming of slamming my forehead right on Ianthe's gorgeous face- Alis smirked, revealing a row of too-sharp teeth. "I wish you had. Perhaps she'd become less vain that way." I laughed again. "I think nothing could make Ianthe less vain. But it would still be worth it."

Alis and I both chuckled- Alis was an excellent judge of character. She and Amelia had never gotten along because Alis had sensed she was hiding something- well, Amelia had proved not to be an enemy in the end but Ali's' gut feeling had still been right.

I spent the rest of the day with Alis- Lucien joined us at some point too, but he didn't speak much, only ate.

"Lunch is served in fifteen minutes Lucien, don't act like an animal that can't wait-" Alis tried to scold but was met with Lucien's growl. "Would you like to dine with Ianthe while she tries to touch every part of you? While you're eating?"

Alis was so horrified that the rest of our time together passed in silence.

I didn't see Feyre before bed- I only had a glimpse at Tamlin, whom, when I asked about my sister, replied that she was tired from her preparations with Ianthe and had gone to bed early.

I followed Feyre's example, also going to bed early.

It did little for my tiredness- I still spent half the night in the bathroom, vomiting, and the other half thrashing in the bed, dreaming of beautiful, dead, young, dead, murdered by me, Faeries.