Project Athena | Reviews

As The Moon Wished (Emmanuel)

Author: faratho

Reviewer: Denyefa4

Genre: Werewolf

As I read "As The Moon Wished," it appears to be a werewolf novel centered around a girl without a wolf. I must commend you on presenting your book in an interesting manner, and your characters show promise and are enjoyable.

Let's start with the cover, which is great. It captures the fantasy vibe and has the potential to attract readers. However, I can't say the same for your blurb. It doesn't provide any information about the story; instead, it only contains an excerpt from your book. As a reader, I would hesitate to open a book without a blurb. While some readers may still be interested, not all would be.

From the first chapter, I found the opening paragraph intriguing. However, I became confused due to the point of view. Although it is stated that the chapter is from Myera's point of view, it reads as third-person narration. Additionally, I noticed your frequent use of asterisks to introduce new characters or wolf-related terms. I'm unsure of the purpose behind this.

Moving on to chapter two, the end of chapter one set a good pace for the story, and I was curious to read the next chapter. However, I was disappointed as it began. You went off on tangents about history and included too much irrelevant information, which bored me.

While the second chapter was a turn-off, the third chapter had a strong start. However, I observed that you often stated actions rather than smoothly incorporating them into the prose, which slightly diminished my reading enjoyment.

In chapter four, you frequently jumped between scenes, which disrupted the flow for readers. I suggest sticking to a scene, developing it, and then transitioning to another scene through actions.

The issues I pointed out about the previous chapters were also evident in the fifth chapter, so there's no need to repeat them.

Regarding characterization, your characters felt one-dimensional and lacked proper descriptions. Additionally, you relied on telling rather than showing readers what was happening.

In terms of grammar and punctuation, your writing was solid. However, your use of asterisks might pose a problem. I did notice a few errors, but a quick check with Grammarly can help address them.

In conclusion, I struggled to grasp the main point or action of your book, as you tended to beat around the bush without presenting a clear focus. The plot dragged on, making it boring, and I encountered plot holes that hindered the reading experience.

I give "As The Moon Wished" a rating of 2 out of 5 stars. While there is room for improvement, you're on the right track.