Author: exp_licit
Genre: Thriller
Reviewer: adretaRyder
The Room Next Door tells an intriguing story, but certain aspects hold it back from being truly engaging. Some technical errors, like inconsistent grammar and punctuation, disrupt the flow of reading. Sentence structures and verb tenses shift erratically throughout, distracting from the plot and breaking up the flow of the story even more.
Natasha could also be fleshed out more(amongst other characters in the story). While we learn she dropped out of college and has wavy brown hair and big eyes in one paragraph, this surface-level description doesn't pull the reader in. More details painting her personality, drive, and experiences would bring her character to life off the page. It's also much more interesting to read when these details are interwoven throughout the story rather than being delivered instantly.
The sudden flashback to the fight with her parents, too, jars the timeline without warning. Throwing readers into a memory mismatch breaks their immersion in the story. Smoother transitions between past and present help trace Natasha's full journey from where she was years ago to where she is now.
Details of Natasha's apartment also leave wanting. Stating the number of rooms in the place provides little atmosphere. Including sensory portrayals of smells, feels, and energies would situate readers right alongside her, and make it a lot more realistic when she first experiences the location.
Overall, the story moves too hastily. Key moments defining Natasha get glanced over, leaving her evolution shallow. Slowing the pace gives space to really understand her choices and whatever growth you have planned out for her.
With some focused polishing, specifically on characterization and descriptions, your story shows promise.
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