What Am I Doing? [Completed]

Chapter 12 - Forgiveness

Song still continues for this.

~ Lydia ~

His grip starts to tighten a little on my arm. I looked away as he pulls me in close.

"Look at me!" I hear him say. His voice makes my skin shudder and my gaze lower. I eventually look up at him and once I was about to say something, he pressed his lips on mine and pushed forward. I fidget away, he grabbed the back of my neck ad kept me locked.

"J..Jacob..." Even saying his name gives me chills. I gave a nudge on his chest and then his arms, he then wrapped his arms around my waist. I couldn't accept the fact he kissed her. I shoved him off and my mood shifted to questioning anger.

"Lydia...hear me out." He pleaded for my attention and all I said was to shut up.

"Save it! I don't want to hear it. Why do you even care if I came back? Shouldn't you be with your 'girlfriend'?" I pushed him, he grabbed my hands and eyes went watery hazel to fiery yellow. My eyes started to get watery and my chest wanted to burst.

"1. She was my ex. I broke up with her due to the fact I she never loved me at all. 2. Do you know when was the last time I had a decent fucking sleep knowing that your not here! 3. Where the fuck have you been?" He stepped closer, his voice booms making me shake a little.

"Ex? So, your telling me that your arm didn't just magically go up her back and you tongue was not in her mouth?" I started to get cocky, wanting to twist his words. It worked though. He began to stutter and his eyes were a little at ease. "...and where I've been? None of your business."

"Look I know what I did was wrong. Kissing her reminded me of you..." He stopped there and I scoffed. I rolled my eyes at him and started to twist my arms off of his grip. His grip tightened and I tried to cover my tears with my sarcasm.

"Really? That's your best answer. Your full of shit you know that." His grip starts to loosen a little and he staggeringly stepped back. "Am I just your side hoe? Do you practice you 'moves' on me for her? I can't even..." I felt so balled up and angry that I slapped him in the face. His face became blank and he let go. "Fuck you and your love." Tears came out and right when I was about to raise my hand at him, he looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He rubbed his cheek to his jaw.

"Lydia, please...don't." He keeps reaching for me but I would step away. I pushed him away with force and drove off.

~ Jacob ~

She stopped for me to explain but my number 1 question was that where did she go. The fact that she didn't believe me that Anne was my ex but I didn't lie when she kissed me. I did imagine Lydia that I was kissing but her leaving and being gone after 3 days, devastated me. I hated to see her cry. I reach out to her but she pushes me away. That is something that I don't tolerate and then she slapped me across my face. I knew this was it. She's done. She then raised her hand again and I just stood there. I hurt her and that's the one thing I would regret for the rest of my life.

"Lydia....please." She shoved me away and drove off. I leaned against my car and my phone pinged. It was Anne. I blocked her and threw my phone in my car. "Fuck! Just....ugh..." So ashamed of myself that I punched a wooden fence that separates the store from the gas station. I ignored the pain and drove home, clenching the steering wheel. I stormed in my apartment room and went to my wine cabinet. Drinking isn't gonna solve anything but I chugged away. I'm like almost finished the entire bottle that the dizziness kicked in and I suddenly fell hot. I took of my shirt and unbuttoned my pants. I staggeringly walked to my living room and I see Lydia at the door. She scans the entire flat, book s knocked over, chairs flipped over, and pillows all over. I wanted to hold her and say I love you every time. She walks in and picks up a pillow. She looks at me and hugs the pillow.

"Well....you seem busy." She then threw the pillow on the couch and crossed her arms.

I then rubbed my neck and held my chest. "Why? Why did you leave? Like...where did you go?" Slurring my words, I leaned against the wall and staggeringly walked to her. I placed my hands on the couch and she stepped back. Her eyes still looked watery or it's probably just me. She opened her mouth then closed it. "Tell me! Just..." I mistook a step and Lydia held me and broke my fall. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her lap. She didn't shove me off but ran her fingers down my face and behind my ear. I heard a vague scoff and passed out.

~ ~ ~> OK, not as much fighting as I thought but most couples tend to be in this situation.