Ace and Zhi have been best friends from the womb. What happens when Ace starts to develop feeling for his best friend. When Zhi finds out, will he be able to accept his friend for who he is, or will it be too much for him?
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(Dante)
|Not Ever|
Zhi
"Shit," Ace pulled out of me and was trying to pull up his briefs. Zhi hopped down from the desk, searching on the ground for his shorts.
"I brought you niggas here for some pussy and y'all choose to fuck each other?" Dante looked like he was going through all the motions.
"We didn't expect anyone to come looking for us." Zhi wasn't even sure why he said that, or what to say.
"I had heard a few whispers, but I brushed that shit off because people love spreading false shit, but I guess this time it was true. How did this even happen?"
"No disrespect Dante, we really don't owe you any explanation." Ace leaned against the desk.
Dante found that humorous. "I mean, I feel like if I ever meant anything to you and my cousin, you owe me something."
"It just happened."
Dante laughed. "Unless you miraculously fell on Ace's dick one day, it ain't just 'happen' he was knee deep in you like, this wasn't your first rodeo."
"Can you give Zhi and I a minute to get situated?" Ace said.
"Just hurry and get dressed, and Zhi I'm ready to go home." Dante turned to leave.
Ace tried to say something to Zhi, but he pushed him off. "What was that for?"
"You just had to, while you knew someone could find us."
"Zhi, you blaming me? You weren't exactly opposing to me when I was inside of you."
"Can you stop living in fucking fairy tale land? You saw that reaction, I'm not ready to deal with that and he saying he heard from other people." Zhi tried to leave.
"You such a damn coward sometimes...so what if people know? Do they pay your bills? What do these people mean to you Zhi?" Ace was yelling.
"It's not about them meaning anything to me, I just don't want people seeing me as only.... gay." He spit it out.
"Be so fucking for real right now baby, you like...hell, you love dick. You beg for it!"
"I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR DAMN BOYFRIEND ACE! Not now, not EVER!" Zhi screamed.
Ace stepped back like he was going to fall. "Oh,"
"Yeah, let that shit sink in. It's on me because I let this go too far." Zhi took a deep breath. "You knew it, but you wanted to ignore it."
Ace tried to keep his body from shaking. He was certain Zhi had cut out his heart and was stomping on it, right in front of him. "Zhi, let's just go home and revisit this in the morning."
"Why, you think that's going to change anything? You think a good night's sleep will make me retract what I'm saying?" He shook his head. "It won't."
"So, what now?" Ace asked.
"Ace, I'm sorry that I can't love you in the way you want, that shit fucks with me because I really wish I could, but...." He was now looking directly in his eyes. "I will never be able to be your idea of me. The reality is, you gave me the best sex of my life and friendship, but I don't want your lifestyle."
Ace "I gotta go," Ace felt his chest tightening. He quickly left the room, but Zhi followed him out. "Zhi don't follow me, I'm good."
"No, you not bro, let me take you home."
"I said it's all good, please don't follow me." Ace knew he wouldn't be able to hide it anymore. He was trying to get outside to the fresh air. Now his throat felt like it was closing. He could hear Zhi's voice only faintly now. He held his chest and his throat.
"He doesn't look so good," One of the girls said.
"Ace, Ace!" Zhi tried to get his attention.
"Sit him down, he's having a anxiety attack, my mom haves them." One of the girls instructed Zhi and Dante.
"Should we call for help?"
"No," She kneeled in front of him. "Zhi, rub his back."
Zhi kneeled and did as he was told.
The girl clapped. "Okay, Ace breathe slowly for me, okay?" He could hear her but couldn't exactly do what she wanted. "You have to breathe slowly," he nodded. "Now, let's count to fifty, okay?"
"Come on, you can do it." Zhi encouraged.
"One, two, three, four...." He was able to join her by the time she got to twenty. His breathing went back to normal. Zhi gave him a hug.
"Will he be okay now?" Zhi was worried.
"Yes, take him home and let him get some sleep." She gently rubbed the top of his hand. Ace smiled at her.
"Thank you." He told her.
*******************
The ride home was quiet. When Zhi dropped off Dante, he didn't even say bye. Chaz was in the dark and just told Ace, he hopes he feels better. Zhi tried to help Ace in the house, but he refused. When they entered the house it was quiet and dark. Their moms were asleep on the couch with Tyla. Ace headed to his bed, and Zhi followed.
Ace started undressing and pulled the cover back so he could get in bed.
"Ace, did that happen because of me?" Zhi asked.
"Zhi, my head is pounding, and I'm just emotionally exhausted right now. I heard everything you said loud and clear. You don't need to concern yourself with me."
"When did you start having those?" Zhi wouldn't let it go.
"Since falling for someone incapable of falling for me. It's just the side effects of wanting what you can't have." Ace head hit the pillow.
"We won't come back from this will we?" Zhi asked.
"Most likely not," Ace replied. There was complete silence, then Ace heard footsteps leave and his door close.
When he woke up, it was almost noon. He showered, brushed his teeth and got dressed. When he went into the living room, only his mom and Tyla were there. "Good afternoon son, sleep well?"
"I did, where everyone else?"
"It's just us, they went home."
"Cool, let's watch 'Home Alone'."
He curled up on the couch with his mom. She kissed his head. "Okay."
He was still in pain, but he was taking the first step of healing by slowly letting go. He had a long road of healing ahead of him, but at least he knew exactly where they stood now. He was right, Ace was living in la la land. He thought about what Jarvis said. "
"I hope it works out, and I hope when he hurts you the next go round, you're able to pick yourself up."
There was nothing left to do but keep going. The New year was in a couple days. That is all he was looking forward to. Zhi had made his choice and this time he wouldn't try to change it.
