Never Meant to (Book one of series)

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Ace

He woke up to his ass and head hurting. He wouldn't regret it for anything in the world. Trouble was standing on everything he said he would, and he could ask for anyone better. Trouble was the standard and nobody was even close. When Ace moved, Trouble turned his way, with his eyes still closed but a little smirk. "How you feelin?"

"Little sore,"

"If you give me a minute, I'll run you a bubble bath and make us some breakfast. I just wanna lay here with you a lil while longer."

Ace heart melted. "Okay,"

"Ace," his voice sound groggily from just waking up but sexy.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for giving me your body last night. I don't take it for granted and imma always respect it." He pulled Aces' hand to his lips and kissed it. "Thank you for trusting me with all of you, imma continue to earn every piece."

"You are so good to me; I don't even know what to say." Ace smiled.

"Just heal and you can express your appreciation later." He winked.

Ace hit him with a pillow.

Trouble did run him a bath and made some good breakfast, like buffet style. It was the walk of shame coming out the bedroom to eat because the way they went at each other was like animals last night, he knows they heard every bit of it. "He said you was going be his when he first saw you, guess he wasn't playin." His roommate was making mimosas.

"Really?"

"Yeah, he wouldn't shut up about some freshman from UDC. It's nice to meet you, more so this morning than last night, last night I wanted to kill y'all, but it sounded like you were already being killed."

He teased and Trouble put him in a headlock. "Leave my baby alone now..."

After breakfast they cuddled on the couch and watched a movie. Trouble drifted back off to sleep. He just had a calmness to him, a sense of security.

Zhi: Good afternoon. Are u at your spot?

Ace: No I'm with Trouble

Zhi: Can we still have that talk?

Ace looked up at Trouble, who had him wrapped tightly in his arms.

Ace:In like 2 hours. I'll hit u

Zhi: aaight

Ace knew what you all were thinking. Why even entertain him? He don't deserve your time, but he still cares for him. That was his first true love, as well as first true heartbreak. He let Trouble finish his nap before asking to go home. He had a basketball meeting anyways. He helped Ace walk to his room, since he was still sore. "Alright, my lil hurt butt, gimme them lips." He bent down and kissed him. "I'll call you later."

"Okay, talk to you later."

Ace: I'm here

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock. He got up carefully and walked to the door to open it. Zhi walked in and closed the door behind them. Ace tried to straighten up his walk.

"You fell or something?"

"No,

He made it to his bed and pulled the cover up to his waist. "I will give you the floor."

"The only thing I should have been ashamed of is how stupid I am."

"Strong opening," Ace smiled.

"You were only telling me that no matter what happened, you chose me. That no matter what negative things were said, or if we were broken, or the world was on fire, you just wanted me." Zhi was talking with his hands, trying very hard to say the right things.

"But I do this shit where um.... I make it about me, because I make myself the prize, and it's ass backwards, because it's really you." He looked down at Ace.
"Trouble understood it right away, and now you about to give that man years of real, unconditional love, support and loyalty." He took a deep breath. "You have always been all of those things for me, and I expected it, got too comfortable, thought it was my right to you."

Ace could feel his eyes watering and Zhi's were as well.

He laughed but his eyes were sad. "The audacity of me." He wiped his eyes.

"That night.... the shit I said.... Ace, I'm soooo damn sorry. I had to look in the mirror and realize I was the villain in your story, and I hated myself." He shook his head. "Knowing would fall into the life of someone else and make that shit amazing, and I would be the reason they are picking up shattered pieces. Because you gave me you on a silver platter and I messed up my one job." He looked straight into Aces eyes. "To love you back equally...if not more. You were always better at loving me, while I was better at breaking you."

The tears were flowing freely down Aces' cheeks now. "Zhi," his voice cracked.

Zhi kneeled by on the floor next to his bed. "Even if you forgive me, don't take me back. Trouble deserves you. He is a good guy; I really believe that."

"Zhi,"

"Ace, this shit sounds good right now, but I will find a way to fuck it up again...taking a piece of you with me every time..." Zhi touched his heart. "Until eventually you will have nothing left."

Ace placed his hand over the one Zhi had to his chest. Zhi wiped the tears from Ace's cheeks, he closed his eyes at his touch. "This...this is...are you asking me to let you go?"

Zhi took a deep breath. "The only thing holding you back from letting him fully have you...is the thought we'll find our way back."

Ace knew that was true.

"Even if we do,"

"Why don't you say something fucked up, and you be the one to cut things off. It's always easier for me, I can't be the one to do it." He was breaking down.

"No, never again. I will never say none of that foul ass shit I said in the past...now I came here to win you back, but from what...something good for you?"

He gripped Aces' shirt and pulled their foreheads together. He kissed him softly, but then it turned passionate, they gently bit each other's lips, then their tongues fought against each other's, before they worked together. Ace gently choked him, and Zhi gripped on to his shirt, tightly.

This kiss was 'I'm sorry' this kiss was 'I hurt you' this kiss was 'I love you' this kiss was 'I forgive you' but most importantly, this kiss was 'Goodbye'. Zhi finally broke the kiss and they were breathing heavily.

"So, say it Ace,"

"I can't,"

"Only you can for it to be real." Zhi smiled weakly "My ass will keep tryna come back."

Ace knew he was right. He took a deep breath. "Goodbye Zhi..." he held Zhi's hand. "We're done."

Zhi broke down. "See..." he wiped his face with the cover. "You did it, you are free from me." Zhi stood up. He went to walk away but they wouldn't let each other hands go. "Let my toxic ass go, Ace."

Ace finally released his hand. Zhi walked to the door, stood there for a while, twisted the knob and opened the door. He didn't even turn around. Then he was gone. Ace collapsed on the bed and cried out all the heartache with him, he was indeed free.

He would always love Zhi. But Zhi was no longer entitled to him.

How are we feeling?

Are we proud of Zhi?

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