• Red dust • [ Taekook ]

Chapter 15

Jungkook lay awake and stared into the darkness.

Various thoughts about the past wandered through his head like a hamster in a cage. And he couldn't make out why the image of that luxurious watch was still so clearly engraved in his mind.

He kept wondering why he couldn't move on after that.

He kept reminding himself that he must feel some kind of guilt for all the lies that had come between the two of them.

And even then Jungkook knew, despite the fact that they got along well and loved each other, that at some point he would have to break that timeless idyll. The younger knew arresting the criminals would not be able to save them, but at least it would silence those ghosts that were constantly haunting and oppressing him.

- Jungkook? - Taehyung's deep voice was the only sound in the dark room, where both of them were lying next to each other.

Jungkook flinched for a moment, frowning and looked up at the older man, who was impatiently waiting for whatever the younger man had to say.

- Hey, love, you said we need to talk, right? - Jungkook nodded, and the elder continued to speak, occasionally touching his thick curls.

- I'm here, you can tell me anything.

-Tae, I... I don't know how to begin. - he rose sharply, took a sitting position on the bed, his eyes searching for any sign on Taehyung's face that would distract him from what he was planning to say.

But no.

When the older man imitated the same pose, Jungkook was convinced that it was really like that - he could tell his lover everything without any hesitation and he was relieved for that.

- I wasn't honest with you... - he paused to take a deep breath, his gaze fixed on the tangled fingers in front of him, which he kept spinning in a circle, until Taehyung's touch brought him back on track.

- Continue... - the gentle words encouraged him for a moment and there was no turning back for Jungkook.

- My desire to be famoust almost destroyed me, Tae... I learned the hard way that the end doesn't justify the tools... and I didn't choose them... I wanted to be like... you. I envied you. - the moment Jungkook's eyes found Taehyung's chocolate orbs, he noticed that the other man was listening to him with great attention.

Tae's heart would skip to a rhythm he didn't know every time when Jungkook paused to find the right words.

- You envied me? Why? - he thought the question was correct because Tae saw absolutely no reason why someone as talented as Jungkook could envy him at all.

- Because you're everything I've ever wanted to be! Successful, rich and loved! I envied you so much that when you left the hotel, I found your watch and sold it. That's how I managed to pay for the recording of the song in the studio. - his voice fell silent on the last lines.

And then there was some kind of excitement. Jungkook couldn't judge whether it was because of finally telling the truth or something else, but in his head he clearly saw the whole false path of his fame and the fact that he would never be like him.

- What?

- I know I'm a piece of shit because I kept quiet all this time and convinced you that I'm different. I'm actually nobody, Tae. If I hadn't actually stolen that watch, I would never be able to be here with you now, in your bed. But believe me one thing, that wasn't my intention. I was just so eager for fame that I didn't see what was good... desire was stronger than me... - suddenly Jungkook fell silent, because Taehyung's lips found their way to his.