Suicidal **CURRENTLY EDITING**

Chapter 24

Songs for this chapter:

Even My Dad Does Sometimes - Ed Sheeran

Breathe Me - Sia

Rain - John Heintz

Megan's POV

"You're coming for dinner tonight." I tell Harry over the phone, dropping onto my bed.

"Am I?" He teases and I roll my eyes, giving him a sarcastic laugh.

"Yes." I insist. "Mum hasn't seen you in a while and she misses you."

"And I'm sure your dad misses me even more?" He jokes and I smile, remembering all the awkward encounters Harry and my father have had. Whenever they were near each other, they usually managed to disagree on something, even if Harry tried to be respectful with his differing opinion.

"I'm sure he'd still like it if you came," I tell him and hear his laugh through the speaker.

"And I'm sure you're telling me that to make me feel better, but I'll come anyway." He says and I trace the pattern of the quilt on my bed.

"You should stop by in about an hour or so. I'm not sure if everything will be ready by then, but mum has been asking me to see you all day and I don't think she'll stop until you're actually here." I laugh.

I want to see him too. He sounds better than when I last talked to him, but it isn't enough to convince me that everything is back to normal again.

When I was with him at his house, nothing felt right. He would try to force smiles and have the strength to talk and laugh like he usually did, but it wasn't like he usually did. He was more quiet and nervous and all his smiles were paired with empty eyes.

He would move slowly and talk more slowly than usual and his eyes drooped like he hadn't slept in days. He's clouded with something that happened to him in America, but it isn't new rumours because I would have found out by now.

It's something serious, and he should be able to tell me.

"Well I should probably change out of my pyjamas then," he says and I smile at the thought of him still lying in bed, doing nothing but staring at his phone or television. "I'll be over soon."

"Alright. Don't be too late." I reply. I feel needy to see him again and find out if he's any better than he was before. The reassurance of having him at least be able to talk more would be relieving, rather than picturing him alone because he can't bring himself to get out of bed.

"Okay, mother." He teases and I roll my eyes. "See you later."

I keep picturing him smiling, but the thought puts an ache in my chest instead of warmth.

"See you.

Harry's POV

I sit in bed another thirty minutes after she called. It's 4:30 and mum and Gemma are out for the day. I got up hours ago but I've been to tired and deprived of energy to stand up, let alone go out for dinner and look happy in front of everyone.

I only have another half an hour to get there, so I bring myself to put my feet on the floor for the first time today. I'm a little hungry, but the less I think about, the less the feeling is there.

I thought I was doing better at pretending like I'm okay. I did a shit job the last time I saw Megan, but I wasn't myself and didn't know how to be. It was like sleeping, but I could keep my eyes open and say everything I needed to, everything coming slowly.

I stand up with a weak feeling in my knees, walking downstairs. The house is quiet and empty, and I look out the window to the pale sky and the unchanged town. The houses across the street look dull and tired as usual, and I know the air will make my arm hair stand on end without going outside.