Suicidal **CURRENTLY EDITING**

Chapter 16

Songs for this chapter:

Human - Christina Perri

Where the Story Ends - The Fray

Fall Away - The Fray

“It was you?” He asked.

His voice so quiet, I could hear a dull humming noise around us.

“You... You sent the photo out? You took it? How - I mean - why would you - how could you even-”

“Harry. I swear I didn’t take that photo.” I said, but the pit of my stomach ached and I knew I could be lying. I was drunk and my thoughts were scattered and it could have been funny at the time. I knew I could have sent the photo out and it was making me sick. I knew I could have been the reason to cause him so much pain, and I knew that there was nothing I could say that would allow him to be okay with my actions.

“Do you promise?” He asked, looking up at me with my phone still loosely held in his long fingers.

“What?” I questioned, furrowing my eyebrows together.

“Do you promise it wasn’t you?” He asked, standing to his feet.

“Harry-”

“Please.” He begged, his deep voice cracking as he spoke my name. “Please tell me you didn’t do this.”

“I - I can’t remember anything.” I spoke quietly, guilt burning my insides.

“I can’t believe you would - even after we just-” He dropped my phone on the table in front of him, standing up and ran his fingers through his unruly hair in frustration. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“But I can’t remember taking that photo, Harry.” I told him as if that would suddenly make it better.

“It’s right there in your phone.” He reminded me, pointing to the device still resting on the table. “Everything you said - how could you just lie to me like that? I trusted you.”

“Harry, I wasn’t lying. I hate to see you like that, you should know that-”

“And I also thought I knew that you wouldn’t ever do something like this, drunk or not.” He continued, turning around to begin pacing back and forth.

“But I just - I wasn’t - I’m sorry. I obviously wasn’t thinking. I can’t even remember falling asleep that night. I’d never do something like this on purpose. I know it would hurt you so I couldn’t.” I pushed any sort of word past my lips that would possibly make him not despise every bit of me for this.

“But you did.” He said in disbelief. “Do you even realize what this caused?”

“Yes, I know. I saw everything that happened - or is happening - and I’d take it back, Harry. I would if I could you know I can’t.”

“Exactly.” He snapped. “I can’t believe you.”

I flinched at his words, feeling so much smaller than I did ten minutes earlier. I can’t remember the last time he spoke to me like this, or if he had even been this angry with me before. But I convinced myself this was the first time, as I knew I would’ve remembered how angry his eyes looked at the way his eyebrows furrowed together as he looked at me. The tone in his voice was different and no longer happy. He was disappointed and just in pain and I felt parts of myself falling apart knowing I was the reason for it all.

“Can we please just talk about this for a while before we go ahead getting angry with each other?” I asked, taking a step closer to him before he backed away.