WARRIORS (MVManalo)

Consecrated Life

A life consecrated to God is what I have always wanted to do for the rest of my life and maybe this community will be the one He has showed me to join in so I can serve Jesus as he wanted me to in the duration of my stay at St. Clare's.

I was watching television late that night when a news flash popped up on the screen that if one wanted to join their community they can do that by calling a certain telephone number. And that's what I did and spoke with someone and there I was admitted to the said congregation. I always wanted to become a nun but the dream God sent me when he or maybe an angel asked me "Sino si Kristo?" when I was very young, or when I saw statues of saints and God, Mama Mary like they were talking to me and or wanted to tell me something, can explain to me what they wanted to tell me then, but nope, I still couldn't figure out the reason for those weird and scary dreams.

Mama and Papa were sad when I left home. I felt the pain of leaving them too and it's a blessing for when I was working as a community organizer for our church, the priest who was very kind to me and wanted to be very weirdly close to me that he gave me gift after gifts that I felt like it was wrong since he was a servant of God and all. I realized that maybe God is saving me from what could have happened and the said priest was rumored to have impregnated a girl who have been serving him in the rectory at church several years after.

Anyway, I prayed for him and that may his soul be at peace and with God since I heard that he died because of cancer years after I joined the community.

So now I am with my sisters in the community and decided to serve the Lord with everything I have. Since I have been good inside the cloister and followed orders without question, my superior, Sister Loreta advised me that I will be transferred to a community of sisters in Brazil. I have been posted to several countries for the last seven years now and I have never imagined that I would be thrown to a place where I have always wanted to visit, Rio de Janeiro.

We are lay women and our community helps the poor and educate children through catechism and now having said that, I don't know if my years of experience as a sister can really help in this situation. I heard that some sisters in that community are uneducated and that they are complainers. Totally different from the communities I have developed or taught Jesus' teachings before. So, here we go! Haaahh! May You guide me since as stubborn and reckless as I am when I was young I know I can help these young women. But at this moment, I need to pray for the Holy Spirit's aid since been living inside the cloisterfor a long time, I never had any experience in the outside world. And in Brazil, the sisters there are unorthodox. When I said unorthodox, what I meant was, really informal and their habits are different from the normal ones I usually do or wear. They usually wear dark and crème colored habits and sometimes they even wear pants and shirts just to match the people's clothing. It's not because St. Clare communities are poor but we are living the vow of poverty and I think some women here have had children before entering the organization. These women entered the community for late vocations and the church allows this for elderly or those who want to spend their remaining days to serve the Lord and those who really wanted to serve God though lived a normal life outside since they found solace inside the cloisters.

A lay community or priests in other religions can marry or have a family if they wanted to. But I decided not to marry why I am still serving God in this organization. Yet, maybe if God touches me to have a family or bear children of my own, then so be it. It is His will not mine and if it is for the good. Of who or for what? Hmm...I always asked God about that. Because I have been serving him for twenty years now and at 36 years, my sixteen years seemed many for a girl who just wanted to find peace, joy and love inside the community. I found it there and I am overjoyed but there is still something missing. That fire, romance and desire to......

Hey, what are you standing there for, sister? (in Brazilian, which I understood, very little), a woman who seems older than me yelled when I was standing at the front gates of the community building. Aha...yes sister! I am....

Ah, yes, Sister Beatrice, Beca, for short. And you're here to help us out, right! Good on you. God bless you! Just call me Sister Jona, or just Jo, haha! I don't like formalities. Ah, you speak English and that's good! I thought you're Spanish or Chinese, she added while running towards me and holding my hand.

Ah yes. Thank you, Jo! Haha!

I hope you had a stress free travel, it's not very peaceful here but I'm certain you'll have a wonderful time with us during your stay here and all!, Sister Jona cried and helped me with my luggage. Oh, no, thanks, I can take care of this!, I said but Sister Jona insisted and led the way to my room. I nodded to the sisters who smiled at me. Some smiling and others where talking with each other. One girl is peculiar and is looking at me from head to foot and that made me feel violated. Aha! No wonder my friends told me that this is a community of hell. For no one has ever lived or got out of here to tell their story which maybe just stupid and exaggerated hearsays that those sisters who left the organization would say since they didn't make it as one of the blessed sisters for the community. I always thought that we are not just children or servants of God but soldiers or warriors of light and truth for Jesus. So,....

Quit staring at me, it's rude!, one sister said and left me hanging when I tried to look at her with kind eyes and a smile to greet her.