𝕵𝖚𝖘𝖙 𝕱𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘...

Chaper 25: My thoughts and actions POV: Devin

"I actually do love her, I just don't know how to show it in a positive way." -Devin...

It's 5 a.m. when I wake up every morning, the annoying alarm rings near my face from how I feel asleep with it last night, texting Dela. I left off writing a paragraph of how much I love her, but I deleted that because well, it was corny, and I don't want her to see me as someone open with their feelings and who is vulnerable, not after what my father went through. Anyways I turned off my alarm and stood up from my bed. Only wearing some plaid pajama pants that Dela got me for my birthday, she has always been so sweet. I love that about her. Look hate to break it to you, but I think you got me all wrong.

I think you believe I'm a jerk. And well, I am... a bastard if you may. But I am also good at manipulating and blackmailing. I mean, how do you know if I am faking being kind right now, you don't! Now see what happened the night of the party, I was drunk and stressed from my home life that I will not get into. Because that will make me seem vulnerable and weak. But trust me I made a huge mistake of hurting Dela... I want to change. I just want her to see that I can be good so she trusts me and only me, that she talks to me and only me, that she needs me and only me, and for her to leave Lucas, when I tell her too. Oh, shit I mean....

I got up from my bed scratching my neck as I groan sleepily looking through my closet to see what I should wear today. "Hey, Siri what's the temperature like outside?" I asked my voice being groggy and raspy, but Dela says she likes my voice like that. She says its 'turns her on'. And I mean, I kinda want to see how she acts when she is turned on, its every boyfriends dream. "The temperature outside is 30 degrees." My eyes widen, its that cold! Damn, okay I guess time to bring out the warmth, so I can heat my body up and if Dela is cold she can just snuggle with me, I like her near me. She makes me feel calm, and she smells nice too.

I walk over to my closet already open with clothes pilling out and my floor being an ocean of clean clothes, who knows how dirty or clean clothes, and just pure dirty clothes. My eyes landed on my black long sleeve shirt and coat so I guess that's what I will wear, and also just some white sweats. I'm too lazy in the mornings to put pants on. I am more of a night person, like Dela. Hmm, I wonder how it is to wake up with her every morning. I would wrap my arms around her and kiss her gently not wanting to wake her up. God, I would be so gentle. I really do love her. My heart is broken already overflowing with her love. I only need her to survive... wait! What am I saying, I'm not some lovey dovey guy. I need to get myself together.

After dressing up I put some random socks on and my crocs and headed to the bathroom. I can already here my little sister waking up, now she sounds like a dying rat in her morning voice. Well, she is a rat, to me. I grabbed my toothbrush and added some toothpaste when i heard her asking Siri what temperature it is just like me and I heard her yell. "What the heck! It's that cold!" I scoffed at her words and how loud she could be, it always surprised me how she was even a morning person. She is just so loud in the mornings, I can't handle her. And that's when I heard her come out her room. I spited out the toothpaste and began washing my face when she came in the bathroom too and went to her side of the sink and began doing her morning routine and her skin care. All I do is wash my face with a plain bar of soap and my skin is clean and glossy. I walked out the bathroom closing the door behind me for her.

When I got back to my room I added some deodorant and some cologne. The same one Dela said she liked on me. I like to see her smiling and happy. I ranked my fingers through my hair making it fluffy a bit and messy, but I really don't care. It's cold out, I don't want to look my very very very best. "Ima steal one of your jackets." My sister said. "Nooo, Bella. Get out you have your own and I grabbed her on her shoulders and pushed her out but she also pushed me back. "Pleaseee, It's cold out and my clothes are all fashionable, lemme borrow one." She pushed me back, how the hell are he legs so strong. What does she go with them.

"No, you wont give it back, I know you! Now go you have clothes!" I said with one final push I sent her out my room. "Ugh, fine jerk. But if I get a cold I'm blaming it on you and making you pay for it." She said as she stuck her tongue out at me and walked back to her room to dress up. I love my sister, I was raised to love her and to protect her and that's what I do. i help her with stuff and I help her get the guys she wants. But they never seem to last, not because she's a bad girl. No! She is amazing but I just know that the guys she's dating will hurt her, but not her new crush... no...I know he would never hurt her.

I walked down to the kitchen seeing my dad cooking some eggs for us before he has to leave for work. He quickly sets the plates down and gives me and kiss and one to Bella, how she magically appeared behind me. And then he left. It scares me sometimes how noisy she is but how quiet she can get too. I walk over to the table and sit down her sitting across from me as I take a look at her shirt. Yes it was long sleeves but with a open chest. She's going to freeze. "You sure you should wear that to school?" I asked as I stuffed my mouth with eggs as she nodded taking a sip from the orange juice. "Yeah, this is the warmest thing I can find in my closet. Do you think Lucas will warm me up?" She asked, ahh, yes her crush. Her crush since 1st grade. The same grade me and Dela where together but I didn't pay much attention to her yet. I shrugged, I really couldn't care less about Lucas.

He's like a threat to me, he is always with Dela and even is sleeping over at her house. He gets to see her in her most vulnerable state and not me... he better not touch her or so help me he will not ever have hands again. I don't know what he does with her, but I just hope he can keep it in his pants. "I don't know." But Bella didn't take that as an answer instead she became more delusional. "He will, he's just kind like that. And maybe if I play my cards just right he might give me his sweater." But I chuckled at that. "Oh please, he would probably give it to Delanore first before you." But Bella didn't like that. She rolled her eyes and got up from the table putting her empty dish in the sink as she waited for me to drive us to school.

"Ok, okay. I'm done, I'm done." I said as I placed the dish in the sink, grabbed my keys, and left. Our backpacks are in my car, so we don't need to get them. I opened the door to the drivers side and she sat in the passenger side. "You got gum?" She asked as she opened the glove compartment. "Wait! NO!" But it was too late, she opened it and saw condoms, Dela's birth control with one of her bras that I forgot to give to her back. And extra clothes for her. "Uhm... never mind. And also what the FLIP!" I kept my eyes forward not wanting to look at her as I drove out the drive way. "What type of freaky stuff do you guys do in here?!" She yelled as she quickly closed the glove compartment. And closed her eyes. "Nothing, its the truth, we do nothing. The condoms are in here, because you never know, her bra is in there because one time she stayed over my house after cheerleading practice and we took a shower, but we did nothing! And her birth control is just there..." But Bella didn't buy any of that although all that I said was true.

Dela has never been the kind of girl to strip then ride, no. She takes time to build up trust and to get her in that zone. I know, I wanted to try with her one time but it took a whole lot of time to build her trust and to turn her on. But when I did she just told me to finger her, so well I did. But its okay, it made me happy to see that I can bring her pleasure. "Yeahhh, you do you boo." She said as she looked out the window. It was now 6 a.m. By the time we arrived school it was 30 minutes more. I parked my car in my spot and Bella went with her friends out in the cold. But I stayed, I opened the glove compartment and took Dela's bra and folded it and put it in a corner there so its hard to see. And I closed it back up.

I had the warmer on the seat so I relaxed a bit and closed my eyes. Until I heard a car pull up. It was Dela. I felt my heart just flutter for her and my stomach became all jittery. I quickly got out the car, grabbed my book bag, and waited for Dela to get out the car with Lucas. But right now I didn't care about Lucas, I cared for Dela. And finally I can spend time with her. "Hey baby!" But his eyes... oh Lucas eyes look deadly when I talk to Dela... its like he wants to hurt me... his eyes tell a story

"Hurt her and your dead."

But mine tells another

"You're dead no matter what."