Painful Truth | BTS

Chapter Eight

"S-September 12?" I overheard someone murmur. I looked towards where I heard the voice, and it was Jin who caused me to look away when I noticed his eyes glistening while staring at me. He remembered. I gulped, attempting to settle my nerves, but it was ineffective because I kept having flashbacks to what had transpired that day.

"I love you so much, Lee Jia, and I just knew we'd be together forever; will you marry me?" he asked me on that day.

"H-how could you do this to me?" When I confessed to cheating on him, his voice trembled as he bursted into tears.

That night, I broke both of our hearts. To keep him safe from myself and awful people who would harm him only to get to me. I knew I had to lie and tell him that horrible thing because I wanted him to hate me. I'd rather have him despise me because he thinks I'm cheating on him than to knowing who I really am.

When I left him inside our apartment, I muttered, "I am so sorry, Jin." I watched from a distance how I broke him and how he was kneeling on the floor, screaming his eyes out. "I love you so much," I finally whispered, as I felt a tear escape, followed by another until I was crying. I kept my palm to my mouth to avoid making any noise that would notify him that I was still here. Watching him. I still haven't left him. And that I, too, am hurting, just like him.

I left when I couldn't handle looking at his vulnerable state while never looking back.

Just like that.

I feel dizzy thinking how I had to lie to him because I was afraid he could hurt himself if he got too close to me. I snapped out of it when I felt someone grab my hand and start dragging me away. I became aware only to discover that Jin was clutching my hand. I heard the others yell his name because they were confused and shocked by his behavior.

I panicked, unable to free myself from his firm grip on my hand, so I simply gave in. We left the meeting room, and I was taken into a secluded area where he believes we might have privacy. He was correct; this quiet area is a space where I go to escape from my thoughts. A location where I may be vulnerable without being seen. The only thing I can hear is our heavy breathing from the run he got us into.

As soon as we cooled down, realization set in. I'm in an isolated room with my ex-boyfriend, or ex-fiancé. Alone. What could happen in this room without anybody witnessing it, and no one hearing it because it is soundproof. It was only the two of us. I didn't even look at him, instead staying focused on the floor to avoid his intense focus on me. Since when did I ever lower my head to someone? Right now. Just for him. Only he can make me do things that I would never do to anyone else.

When I heard him get closer to me, I began to breathe harder, despite the fact that I was taking a step back every time he got too close. Until I could only feel the hard wall behind me, I knew he had me, and I couldn't even run away since I was distracted by our near proximity. Why does his presence remain affecting me? It's been years, but I'm still drawn to him.

"Do you remember?" He inquired, his voice deeper than normal and tinged with strange emotions. I remained mute while staring at his clothed chest as I couldn't look him in the eyes.

I was terrified to see how much he despised me. He scoffed, "Oh, you remember, right? Because I could still remember how you made my heart so happy and then broke my heart at the end of that day." He spit, his voice breaking at the end. I took a long breath, trying to keep back my emotions, still hesitating to answer him because I was terrified I would break down and end up giving him the truth.

No. I can't. I can't tell him the truth.

I attempted to move, desperate to escape, but I couldn't even run away from how he was trapping me in the wall. I sighed in defeat, knowing that the only way out was to deliberately hurt him, something I couldn't do again. When I felt something wet fall on me, my heart began to beat painfully. He was crying. I made him cry again. When I heard his sniffles, I couldn't take it longer and gently looked up from his chest to look him in the eyes. And maybe see how much he dislikes me.

I freeze as I take up his wet cheeks, somewhat messy hair, and eyes that refuse to move away from mine. I cringed slightly when I finally let my eyes contact his, realizing how much he was hurting as a result of my actions. I hated myself so much for hurting him, for lying to him, when I despised being lied to. We merely stared at each other, trying to disguise our emotions but failing. I noticed a shift in the atmosphere as I realized he was leaning in. Regardless of how much I wanted to ignore it, I was also missing him. I was also hurting when he was not with me.

So I just let whatever happens, happens.

"I'm so-" I tried to apologize, even though I knew it wouldn't change anything. That my apology would not erase the memories of how I destroyed his heart that day.

However, he cut me off by pressing his lips on mine aggressively while lifting both of his hands to grip my face and leaning entirely on me as if to stop me from running away. But I did not do that. I closed my eyes and allowed my heart to do whatever it wanted. Even if it's just for now, I'll let my feelings make the decision this time.

I kissed him back with the same passion. I can feel his fury and misery through the kiss because he was trying so hard to devour me while grabbing my jaw forcefully. I gently reached up both of my hands encircling around his neck as I sensed he was going to escalate the kiss and wouldn't part up anytime soon.

I wanted this, and so did him. Soon, I felt one of his hands slip away from my jaw, but the other remained in place as he curved it around my waist, holding me tightly as if ensuring himself that I wouldn't leave him this time. All the time, he was roughly kissing me, attempting to pull our bodies closer together than they were.

I gasped slightly when I felt his hand gripping my ass cheek, and he took advantage of the opportunity to let his tongue inside of my warm mouth and connect with mine. I gasped when he began aggressively sucking my tongue, but it was giving me so much pleasure. I inhaled deeply as he slowly tasted and sucked my tongue with his own warm tongue. Soon, I felt him slow down as I patted him hard to let him know I couldn't breathe after how long we had been kissing.

We were breathing heavily with our eyes closed, yet our foreheads were still touching. It appears that he has no intention of releasing his grip on me. And perhaps he is.

_

Okay so this is a very emotional chapter. This is where their interactions with each other starts again. Do you think they'll get together again?

And yes, Jin was her ex-fiancé! Were you surprised? or did you already had suspicions?