||Lungs of roses|| Hanihaki Au | Shin Soukoku | Bungou Stray Dogs

"Goodnight" (18)

Again, there was silence. Painful silence.

"You wish.... I was a girl..?" Atsushi turned to look at Akutagawa, who was still faced away from the Man-tiger. "But... Why do you like me right now..?"

"I don't!" Akutagawa was silent for a moment more before rephrasing. "I don't know..." He was every bit a mess at the moment, keeping tears hidden behind his cold, Gray eyes. "It's disgusting... disgraceful. Weak" Those hidden tears started to peak out.

"You're always putting yourself down, that's why you always thought you were weak..." Atsushi was trying his best to steer away from the subject of Akutagawa's feelings.

Aku didn't talk. Atsushi hadn't noticed until now, but Akutagawa was in his normal work clothing.

"I'm going to sleep... Do you need anything?" He said as he got up, off the floor. He watched Akutagawa struggle to undo his Cravat with his horribly frail fingers. "You need help?" Akutagawa slowly nodded like a child. There was a small giggle from Atsushi before he moved to help Akutagawa.

"It's okay to ask for help," Atsushi said as he undid the Cravat. They both were very uncomfortable with the close proximity between the two. They were so close to each other's faces.

Finally, when Atsushi got the cravat undone, he placed it on Akutagawa's lap.

"Can you walk?"

The answer was obvious with the hesitance on Akutagawa's face but, Atsushi waited for the answer anyways. "Not without assistance..." The man said meekly.

"What about eating..?"

"Yes." The hospital was able to get him in rehabilitation for his Eating Disorder. Akutagawa began to take off his coat as he spoke.

"You'll need help to get on the futon. Let me get it out." And with that, Atsushi left to get the futon out.

A few minutes of shuffling later and Atsushi was back. He held a black t-shirt and shorts. "I figured I'd let you borrow these. Those clothes don't look very comfortable to sleep in. I hope they fit." Again with that smile.

Cough! Cough!

"Shit" Aku cursed to himself as he looked at his blood spattered clothes. A few petals were laying almost angelically on his lap, atop the red spattered Cravat.

"Yeah, I guess you do need to change now." That guilty look on Atsushi's face was hell to Akutagawa. Atsushi placed the clothes he brought on the table next to Akutagawa. "Do you think you can change on your own?" The Tiger boy asked. Akutagawa gave him a sharp glare. "I-I just don't want you to get hurt!" Atsushi held his hand up in the air, showing that he had no ill intentions.

Akutagawa picked up the clothes. "I'll be fine."

"The washroom is over there." Atsushi pointed.

The Raven haired man carefully wheeled himself to the room that the Man-tiger directed him to. He locked the door behind himself.

Atsushi pulled out his own futon in the closet as he waited for Akutagawa to change. He listened to the coughs that came from the bathroom and the flush of the toilet that came afterwards.

"I wish you were female..."

He couldn't stop thinking about those words. Why did they hurt so much? Atsushi can't even reciprocate, so why did they matter so much?

The sound of Akutagawa's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Why are you doing, Fool?" Akutagawa was changed. The two were about almost the same height, but Akutagawa was skinnier than the Man-tiger and the clothes showed that.

The collar of the shirt hung a bit lower than they would've on Atsushi. Thank God the shorts had a drawstring, any looser and Atsushi would've been a tomato. Akutagawa was already blushing a bit from embarrassment. He was clearly uncomfortable in the loose clothing, as he had his coat wrapped around himself.

"Are these really the only clothes that you have available?" The man asked as he held the coat tighter around himself, leaving himself to feel just as exposed as he would've without the coat.

"Y- Yeah... Sorry..." Atsushi was a bit flustered. He had never seen Akutagawa in anything other than his work clothing, and recently, a hospital gown. "They're loose huh?" Atsushi asked as if he didn't already suspect that'd be the case.

He noticed that Akutagawa's eyes weren't on him anymore, but the futon. "Uhm..." He felt awkward asking the question even though he knew the answer had to be 'yes.' "Do you want me to help you?"

Akutagawa did that childish nod again.

One little 'heh' left Atsushi's lips before he moved.

"I'm going to have to pick you up... Is that okay? 'Cause if not-"

"Hurry up before I change my mind..." Akutagawa turned his face away from the Man-Tiger.

"O-Okay..." Atsushi quickly moved towards Akutagawa.

Atsushi carefully placed his hand under Akutagawa's knees, then behind his back. Atsushi watched as the man flinched at the touch. "Sorry..." Atsushi finally lifted Akutagawa out of the wheelchair. Again, he flinched.

Atsushi slowly carried Akutagawa, who curled into himself a bit in embarrassment, to the futon. It wasn't hard to carry him but Atsushi noticed that Akutagawa had gained a bit of weight, that was good...

Atsushi got onto his own knees next to the futon. He placed Akutagawa's still frail body on the futon.

Akutagawa didn't look at Atsushi after he was placed down. He stared at the ceiling with watery eyes. Atsushi removed his hands from under him. He stood back up with no questions. He moved the wheelchair to the corner of the room.

"M-My book..." Akutagawa muttered.

Atsushi noticed the book on the wheelchair seat. He picked it up. He handed the book to Akutagawa.

"Do you need a blanket? I think it'll be cold tonight." Akutagawa didn't answer, he just read his book. "I'll just get you one just in case." Atsushi pulled a blanket out from the closet. Akutagawa secretly watched but redirected his eyes to his book after Atsushi turned around with the blanket in hand. "Here you go..." Atsushi placed the blanket next to where Akutagawa laid. "Get some rest..." Atsushi smiled before heading to his sleeping spot in the closet.

A quiet, muffled 'Goodnight' was heard from outside the closet. Atsushi smiled to himself. "Goodnight, Akutagawa..." Atsushi said just as quietly.