BEAUTY IN THE BEAST

The Laws Of Nature

Ch 62: The Laws Of Nature

Kat

Slowly my conscience arrives and I blink my eyes open to a dark room with no trace of the human beside me, I stretch my hands and legs and feel really good after getting a non-nightmare sleep. I look around and touch the space where Ace slept, the sheets are cold so it means he has been gone for a while then. I don't know why but that doesn't sit right with me.

Yesterday night wasn't supposed to be a heart to the heart with a killer but in the flow of the moment and the warmth his huge body provided, the damn inside of me broke. I wanted to talk about it to somebody, anybody and while I could have talked to Naomi about it, even though she was there, I just.... Just didn't feel that comfortable with the topic. Talking about my emotions or feelings have never been easy to me, it just feels like I'm crying about things when the other person could do so much better things with the time.

I try not to think about the words my therapist had told me when I was a teenager again, 'It's okay to want attention Katherine, you want to be a priority to somebody, not be just an afterthought, it's okay to want to be the 'the' of anyone instead of a choice, it's normal.' For several years I had fought with myself in a battle nobody knew about. It's always like people leave me for someone else. There's always somebody better than me for everyone. When I was in the school, I had acquaintances but never friend's whom I could turn up to with my problems. I was always the kid everybody knew about to be funny, witty, and nice. Every day I used to see the girls in my school go out to party or night out's and I used to sit alone at my house studying because nobody ever called me for anything, it was like I was living two lives simultaneously. I was bitter towards them, judged them for their lack of marks or how slutty their behaviour was because it just was easy. It was easy to judge them so I don't feel empty, useless and just a nobody.

With time the years in high school came and went but my virginity stayed because I was never interested in guys, I wasn't seriously, and no I wasn't into girls too, I just felt.... Asexual. Like I liked the men and guys from my romance novels, I masturbated to porn with guys and of guys and guys but never had any desire or any spark with any real life guys. Now though, I think of Ace's hands, his forearms, which look good enough to lick, his clean chest and the happy trail leading under the snug boxers he wears to bed. I think of how good he smells, every inch of him covered in tattoos. He looks like my wet dream, combined with all the dark romance men morphed into one, albeit here the killings and his real life scare me instead me turning me on. It's like somebody up there just made my fictional world my real world and I hate being the female protagonist because the tragic story here isn't just words but the real life events which happened really. I swallow and try to focus on something else, I need to keep my cool and think of my next step, I need an out. A chance to leave this world behind and just run.

I ignore the uneasy tingle in my mind about leaving Ace behind, but I have already accepted that my mind has been broken for a while now, so I don't need to hear it anymore.

I cuddle once in the warm duvet and the silk sheets, before releasing a sigh and clapping my hands. The lights switch on with, I yelp, because suddenly music pours through the ceilings, and the whole room fills with the soft crooning tunes of Taylore Swift's Love Story. I look around groggily sitting up and notice a device on the nightstand, it... it just looks weird, like a screen held in a hand with a mic on the other. It's just so... beautiful and weird. I tentatively reach around to it and see a paper folded and kept in a black envelope. I take the black paper, because of course it's black out and look at the neat scribble on it.

"Good morning Pcholka,

I had matters I needed to tend to, so I will be out the whole day, feel free to snoop around and in the first drawer to the left there's a kindle for you because I have known from research that people with a romance book addiction, tend to get into slumps with only the paperbacks, eat your breakfast and spend the day with your friend because tomorrow she will be back to The States, you kept your part of the deal and I'll honour mine, just so you know you looked beautiful in the morning.