BEAUTY IN THE BEAST

Mine To Know

Ch 61: Mine to Know

Ace

What do you want to know?

She asks, where should I start I wonder, "Tell me about the story of your period."

She chuckles, "Started at 13 and going forward?" she asks lightly deflecting.

I slap her ass lightly earning a yelp. "You know which." I say pulling her against me, it feels like the inches between us is still too much, I want to envelop her, own her, just get into her somehow, just... join us so that she never leaves me. Mila has to be dealt with sooner rather than later and I have had all the arrangements made for her. Tomorrow she'll back in The States, away from pcholka so that her shadow isn't an ominous reminder of her presence, everything was great, perfect and I thought that our relationship may start today maybe but of course there had to be some roadblock in the path, Mila aka the woman I had hired for as a safety precaution.

It took everything inside of me to not thrash something or shake Katherine to make her open her eyes, to let me in. One look was all it took to break the bubble which took me hours to create. Listening to her sobs while I stood outside the door, to just forcing myself to move out of the door and again to come back in the room, it had tested my restrain on another level. My rage was so blind that I had reduced two guys to pulp and I still didn't remember it, Viktor had to come get me from down there before I killed the fourth guy, when Viktor called Katherine, my rage gave way to worry. I got distracted and that's how that son of a bitch guy got me in a swing on the rib and the graze on my lips. It doesn't matter though, it isn't hurting anymore but coming back in the room and seeing her so small, so fragile in my bed just evoked a monster or maybe calmed him because I felt at peace.

One look at the woman who hates me to my guts and I was a goner. I don't know why I told her the stuff I did. I had never done that, never told anybody the stories I told her, never told anyone else about the abuse I had to go through form my mother, never mentioned to anyone else why I fight. They think it's to practice my stance and I let them think that. The lethal head of the mafia. I wear it with honour even though it's soaked in blood.

Her pale skin looks like glass in the dim lights of the room and I feel like the Beast holding his beauty in his arms.

After what feels like hours she starts softly, "I woke up in the hospital on the 5th, feeling like I was covered in blood, for a second, I didn't understand where I was, I wanted to speak but no voice would come out of my mouth, it was like I was tongue-tied. I was pregnant then, or supposed to be pregnant, before the..." she thinks for a moment, "accident, so I wake up and the doctor comes and tells me that a man had helped me to umm.. get into the hospital and that I was hit pretty bad." She takes a deep breath, I rub her back slowly, "I asked the doctor how is my baby, I uhm..." a choking sound comes and I continue rubbing her back even though I hear her sniffling sound, she has to get it out, it's the only way, "so uhh... I uhhh ask the doctor about my baby and she just looks at me for a second quietly, but you know what was worse than her words, her silence, her eyes Ace, they were so... so sad and I somehow got it, understood it you what she said before she even said, "we couldn't save the baby" she said I was the priority for the doctors and my baby, my sweet little girl, and yes she told that to me, fought for a bit until she couldn't, my whatever name of the organ she said, just broke and my periods began causing me to have a miscarriage." She goes quiet, I think that that's all I'll get out of her why she shifts closer to me and continues softly, "the baby, I named her Momo you know, I named her after this snacks I ate at an Indian restaurant and I liked these dim sums which they gave me and called it Momo." She laughs, a watery laugh at that, "I felt her in me Ace, you know there was not much you can say in 7 weeks but I felt like a life was growing in me then, in all the things that happened to me, I felt that maybe she was the hope everybody told me about. She was mine you know. Everything which I went through, just feeling her in me neutralised it all. I forgot it all, and I wanted to run that day when he came and ended it all. I remember the pain of not being a mother, I remember the nights when everything seemed just black, I wanted to be her mother Ace, I wanted to the mother to her like I had with me. I wanted her and I couldn't but help blaming myself because when the doctor told me I was pregnant, I wanted to end it. I wanted to abort the life which was growing cell by cell inside of me because I wasn't ready. It happened because of me, every damn month on the 5th, my period and just like that I fall apart, the damn thing comes so uniformly since I lost her, that I feel even the universe is mocking me with the results of my action." She cries brokenly again, and I want to end it, end her pain, I want it to be some person whom I can end so she gets out of this intense agony she is in. I have never been big on God but I want to pray to him, to just ease this intense pain she is in. I hold her tightly, quietly because I don't have words, I never had a mother and hearing her explaining the hole left after losing her child makes me want to strangle the man responsible for it.