The Super Kyman Project: Collection of Kyman Stories

12. Fan Favorite

Word count: 1304

The cheers filled the stadium as the most famous boy band in the world danced around on stage, singing their signature song.

"I'm gonna finger bang bang you into my life!"

People were attempting to thrust themselves onto the stage as the performance went on only to get their plans thwarted by security. As the concert ended and the fireworks went off, the group sneaked backstage.

"Wow, my vocals were bitchin today!" The morbidly obese lead vocalist Cartman exclaimed as they ran backstage (he walked for obvious reasons)

"Cartman, shut the FREAK up. The only reason you're still in the band is because you're the only one stupid enough to make songs for a boy band, " Kyle argued.

"Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Well you can't fucking dance Kahl!" Cartman yelled, "And you know why? It's cause jews don't have rhythm!"

"That's not true!"

"Dude it kinda is... everyone else learns the dances within a day and you take 2 weeks and you still fuck up.." Stan weighed in.

Cartman started laughing and pointing at Kyle, "What did I say Jew!"

"Cartman, you can't talk. We have to pay extra for our venues because of the amount of damage your fatass causes to the stage!" Kenny spoke up.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP KINNY! If it weren't for me this band wouldn't exist and you'd still be poor as FUCK!" Cartman screamed

"Guys just drop it! We're all in the band for a reason even if Cartman is a ginormous walrus that causes destruction wherever he steps, and Kyle has no rhythm!"

"I'm not a walrus I'm a megladon cause they're bringers of terror" Cartman yapped.

"The only thing you bring terror to, Cartman, is chairs you're about to sit on fat boy" Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Well-"

"All of you sh-shut up!" Their manager, Jimmy emerged from the shadows, "We all gotta try and get along! I mean c-c-cmon!"

"You're right, Jimmy, we're sorry." Kyle apologized

"Speak for yourself, Kahl. I ain't sorry for shit!" Cartman glared at him.

"You all have to be up b-bright and early for your interview on James Corden's show t-tomorrow"

"James Corden? Why the fuck are we going on that FA-scit's show?" The inflated megladon complained.

"Cartman shut up it'll be good for the band"

"No! Why should we have to settle for HIM."

Everyone just ignored cartman and started getting ready to go home.

The next morning, the band was in the dressing room for Corden's show. Cartman was trimming his nose hairs while Kenny and stan were fixing their hair and Kyle was putting on his fake tattoos and facial hair.

"5 minutes t-til you go on!" Jimmy announced.

"Heh, at least we get to talk about how awesum we are on TV!" Cartman yapped to no response.

5 minutes went by quickly, and they all rushed onto the interview. As they walked on, they were met with hundreds of cheers, and Cartman waved and blew kisses while the rest of them just nodded their heads and smiled.

"Welcome Fingerbang! You have to be the most popular boy band in the world right now. How does it feel?" James asked britishly.

"Well, to be quite frank it's fucking tits!" Cartman exclaimed as the others glared at him and rolled their eyes.