Still mine - Your little secret II

XXVII - "Hurt"

I woke up as someone tapped my shoulder very lightly, the scent of fresh food was in the air. I groaned and opened my eyes, Ajax knelt in front of me with a gentle smile.
"Hello love, I've got a little surprise." I sat up slowly and stared at him, he would only pull me up from my seat and bring me outside.
"We're in Liyue." I realised, my boyfriend just nodded and led me behind the carriage where a table was set with several delicious specialities. From afar I could hear the citizens talk and laugh, meaning we weren't far away from the harbor.

"Y/N, my love." Ajax cleared his throat as he pulled back my chair for me to sit down. "I want you to know that I love you. I love you far beyond infinity and I will do anything to protect you."

I stared into his bright blue eyes that shone like the waters in fontain, his lips forming a slight smile. "Unfortunately I can't stay here with you in Liyue because I have to find Jian and wipe him out for good." He grabbed my chin and lifted it gently, then leaned over the table to steal a kiss from me. "You'll be in good hands, Zhongli and your mother will also take care of you."

I felt a relief as he mentioned the ancient archon's name, and happy when he said that I would see my mother again. Meeting my mother would mean I could help her with everything, gardening, delivering orders and helping her earn some money. But anyways, I sighed and shook my head as I took Ajax hand. "Ajax my dear, I appreciate that you care about my safety but actually, I'm not a porcelain doll that's easy to break."

His brows lifted at my comment before he chuckled. "Oh but you are easy to break with just the right amount of pressure." His mysterious grin felt like spikes piercing my soul. "Do you know what I went through?" Without hesitation and switching to a blank expression he immediately answered.
"I know, I caused it."

Right. "You're fucking toxic." I huffed slightly pushing the plate away from me and signalised him that I would not eat a single bite. Suddenly the fatui lowered his gaze to the ground and sighed, yet I could see his grin. "I am toxic?" Slowly he'd get up from his chair and stroll towards me, his steps were light und quick, before I could even react he had me pinned against the chair. "Do you want to know how toxic I can really be?"

Fuck... it was too late as I realised what was just happening, one wrong word and everything changed. "No I'm sorry..." I whispered and stared at my hands placed on my thighs, it was not my intention to cause any trouble this time. I heard cutlery clutter whereupon Childe roughly lifted my chin and held a fork full food in front of my mouth as he pressed his fingers into the skin of my jaw. "Better eat that shit up."

I briefly glanced at his face, his expression was cold and rather annoyed, even mad, then I quickly glanced back at the food as the pressure he put on my jaw got tighter and tighter so I had no other choice than opening my mouth.

He'd put the fork in and close my mouth forcing me to eat the food, it was delicious but my stomach twisted as I swallowed it. "What a good girl." With his fingers, my boyfriend gently ran through my hair and caress my head as a comfortable warmth ran through my body. "If only you'd always do as you're told... you would be perfect." The last words were barely loud enough to hear but I still heard it.

The warmth was followed by a cold shiver which those words sent down my spine. As my lips started to quiver, Ajax looked shocked. "What's wrong now love?" I managed to hold back a tear, perhaps I was overreacting but his words still hurt me. "I know I'm not perfect, nobody is, but it still doesn't give you the right to say something so hurtful like that." I saw his jaw tightening and his grip tightened on the fork as he grumbled.

"Love, I did not mean it this way..." Taking deep breaths I felt my heart calming. "But you said it that way and it hurt me." I lifted from my seat not breaking eye contact with the ginger, he looked very sorry at that moment and I wanted to hug him but I knew I shouldn't.

"You say hurtful things to me and then you cheer me up by saying something I want to hear. This is not how it should go." I stared at the rose placed in the middle of the table and sighed. "I like other things than meaningless words better."
As I walked towards the city, I still wondered how the situation suddenly changed, leaving Ajax standing there. We just wanted to spend the last few moments together in happiness but it turned into whatever that was again.
This relationship was a ticking time bomb and if we wanted this to work again we probably both needed to grow up. Even though it's been a long time already.

If your pen doesn't write, do you refill or change it?
Would you sacrifice every last drop of your ink if your pen doesn't want to be refilled?
- - - - -

I can be poetic right? Jk
Long time no see, life's keeping me all busy. This book is actually quite hard to finish, I didn't consider that the second part might just be a waste of time as the story stops making sense at some point but whatever
I'm trying my best to update