DNS 2

Chapter 2 - Safe

I have to tell him.

Taking a deep breath as his eyes meet mine.
"Charles I don't want to have a baby, and I shouldn't have told you it was yours because the truth is... I don't know if it is for sure."

Surprised I even managed to say that aloud to him, his facial expression immediately switches to rage.

"How can you not know? How many times was it Lilly, HOW MANY times did you sleep with him?!" He shouts.

His voice raised so loud that people outside the room even turn to look in - including Lando. Reacting to stand out of his chair as if to enter the room before I pass him a look with a shake of my head as if to tell him to sit back down and leave it.

"How many times Lilly?!" He repeats.

"Once Charles, it was only once."

"So how can you be sure or even think that it's his over mine."

I didn't dare tell him that Lando and I hadn't used protection. Charles and I had been using protection after the first couple of times without because I wanted to make sure this exact situation didn't happen, but Lando was spur of the moment and not one part of me thought, or even cared about it at the time - knowing this would kill Charles. But I guess no matter what I said, he wasn't going to be thrilled.

"Charles there's just a chance it could be his, the dates are too close to know - I'm sorry."

"Either way right now it doesn't matter who's it is, I'm not having this baby Charles I can't." I say.

His face drops, anger radiating from every part of him.

"I really thought we were going to be able to fix things, I thought this would be a fresh start for us, but if you do this - there's no fixing us Lilly." He gets up and leaves the room, watching him for a moment as he exits the waiting room - before leaving the hospital entirely, not looking back once. I feel numb.

This wasn't Charles. This wasn't how he has ever acted, I'm so thrown by his actions I can't even contemplate what's just happened or what he's just said to me.

All I wanted was a future with Charles, but now I don't even know if him leaving me is a bad thing. Saying there would be no fixing this - do I really want a future with someone who wouldn't even listen or understand how hard this is?

Before I have a moment to overthink any further - Lando enters the room.

"So i'm guessing that went really well?" He smirks, trying to break the ice and lift the mood a little - and somehow it actually works.

"Lando stop! that didn't go well at all!" Trying my best not to laugh, with every small movement my rib cage feels like it's going to explode. The bruising becoming more painful as time passes.

I also notice Adrien sat outside looking a little panicked on the phone. My god I hope he didn't hear Charles shouting at me asking how many times I'd slept with Lando.

Does he know I'm pregnant? A million worries begin to flood my head before a warm reassuring hand is placed on top of mine. "Hey stop Lilly I know what you're thinking." Lando says. "... He doesn't know anything, he will be panicking because the team doesn't have a reserve driver yet, I told him he could come in once you've asked for him. He doesn't know your injuries are only minor, don't stress ok."

That's a relief, in my usual style I was sat here thinking the worst. "Could you please ask Adrien to come in, I should at least reassure him I'll be back in the car in no time." I ask Lando.

Lando gives me a soft smile before exiting my room, taking with him all the calming energy that surrounded him. It was as if the second the door closed behind him - I was left feeling scared and overwhelmed again.

"Lilly oh my god are you ok?" A panicked and flapping Adrien bursts through the door.

"I'm fine Adrien everything's going to be ok, I'll be back in the car in no time, I don't have any major injuries." I say.

I don't have any major injuries but I absolutely have major issues, it's as if my emotions are being pulled left to right on a weighted string. I can't stop jumping from one thought to the next.

"Oh phew that's great I'm so glad you're ok! we have 4 weeks before the next race is scheduled due to some Covid restrictions being put back in place in Italy. Can you be in Surrey in 3 weeks and we will have you work with a medic and trainer to get you back on track?"

One thing I'd always liked about Adrien was how direct and driven he was. No matter what was going on he was always absolutely solution based, any problem there was or any set back, he just wants to know how to solve it.

"I can no problem, I just need to rest for a while - the bruising is causing me a lot of pain at the moment." I respond.

"Of course! I won't pester you for a couple of weeks, take some time to recover and I'll see you in Surrey on the 13th Nov does that work for you?"

"Great thanks Adrien I'll see you then, please make sure the team isn't worried - I'll see you all soon."

For some reason I have the 13th in my head as an important date, I'm pretty sure I have something already scheduled for then but I have no idea what, the date is just stuck in my head and I can't shake it. Either way I wasn't going to say no to Adrien.

Catching sight of the nurse as she passes by the door of my room, I manage to grab her attention...
"Hi excuse me, excuse me.."

"Hi miss Walker how can I help?" She responds.

"Is it possible for me to go home please? Am I able to fly?" Just now realising for a second that I'm actually still in Bahrain - a hospital from inside just seems like any hospital, for a little while part of me hadn't even realised I wasn't in Monaco.

"You are safe to fly but I can't let you check out alone, you do need to be released into the care of someone." She says.

This is less than ideal. Adrien had already made for the hills and as much as I'm mad at Charles right now, I still wanted to see him and speak to him, and leaving this hospital with Lando now seems like my only option. Don't get me wrong... I wasn't mad about it, but it also didn't feel like it was the right thing to do.

He wanders into my room looking a little uncertain of himself. "I heard you talking with the nurse, come on... let me get you home."

Again, the feeling of comfort washes over me - just complete safety in his presence. He wraps his arms around me gently lifting me from the bed and into a treacherous looking wheelchair that looked like it was going to collapse from underneath me at any moment.

But as he lowered me down and our eyes met again, I instantly remembered his words from our conversation that day as I walked through the streets of Monaco, lost and uncertain.

"Its my birthday on the 13th of November if you'd like to mark that in your calendar"

Thats why it was stuck in my head.

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