I must definitely be losing my mind. I think there's just far too much going on in my head and life right now for me to handle. As the rain continues to pour down, I manage to slightly gather myself and my thoughts, still wrapped in Lando's arms.
Glancing back towards my dads grave, I manage to at least speak a few words to him. "Goodbye dad - I'll come back soon, I'm sorry I couldn't stay here longer." Before I quickly turn back towards Lando.
"Can you take me to a clinic please Lando, I really just need to get on with my life, I can't do this." I ask him. I know this seems abrupt and a little preemptive of me or spur of the moment, but I just needed to and I felt it in my gut.
A slightly disheartened look on his face, but he agrees to take me without question. Helping me up as we walk towards the car, both completely soaking at this point and covered in mud.
Carefully lowering me into the passenger side, closing my door while the seemingly never ending rain continues to pound down on him. "I don't think I'm getting my deposit back on this rental car" he laughs, almost out of breath as he closes his own door, now both finally in the car and out of the torrential rain.
"No I don't think so." I laugh back as I look down at myself, then across at Lando - our trousers are completely saturated and dripping with water, we've dragged mud in across the floor mats of the car, it's a mess! I'm now just trying to sit as still as possible so I don't make it even worse.
"Ready?" He says.
"Yeah, let's go."
I know this is what is right for me, I don't know if it's the right thing to do, but it's right for me - I say to myself in my head as we drive through the winding one way streets of Manchester City centre.
"6 minutes until you reach your destination."
The words echo around the car from google maps as Lando and I remain silent, slowly getting closer to the clinic. There's no going back now.
"You have arrived at your destination."
Staring up at the entrance sign hanging above the door of the clinic, barely able to make it out through the rain still attacking the windscreen - I can't move. I can't get out of the car yet, I just sit and stare at it for a while.
Lando places a comforting hand on my thigh once again, "Are you sure you want to do this? Do you want me to come in with you?"
I don't know anymore. Now I'm here, I have no idea.
"It's ok - I'll go in on my own, but thank you for being here Lando."
"I'll be here when you get back ok." He says.
This is it.
He jumps out of the drivers seat, running around to the passenger side before lifting the door and helping me out, I think we might both end up with pneumonia or something after this ordeal - freezing cold and soaking wet still sat festering in these clothes.
I run towards the entrance of the clinic, before bursting in the doors. I'm met instantly with the shocked and concerned face of a small blonde woman - brown circular glasses sitting across the bridge of her nose. "Oh dear! hello are you ok?! What's happened to you?" She asks, jumping up from her seat behind the reception desk.
The panic in her face, before I realise what I actually look like. No wonder she was asking if I was ok and asking what had happened to me, I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards, my clothes dripping, hair matted and dripping. Mascara running down my face and my legs completely covered in mud. I looked a mess.
"Nothing has happened, sorry I was just out in the rain and ended up covered in mud from some grass, it's a long story but nothing has happened to me I'm ok" I reassured her.
She looked instantly relieved before sitting back down in her chair and handing me a sheet of paper on a clip board and a pen. "Fill this in dear and bring it back to me when you're finished."
Some of the check boxes on this sheet seemed incredibly unnecessary, number of sexual partners? STI / STD symptoms? I suppose this was an extremely generic check box exercise, forgetting how many other reasons there are for visiting a clinic.
After sitting filling it in for five minutes, I pass back the clipboard and she quickly scans through it. "So how many weeks along are you?" She announces loudly to the whole room, 3 other women sat on chairs behind me. What on earth?! Discretion definitely wasn't her strong point.
"12-13 weeks" I practically whisper.
She walks away without saying a word, returning a minute or two later with two small boxes. "Ok dear here you are, take the first one now and the second one after 24 hours."
"What? That's it?" I ask.
"Yes here's a leaflet too."
"Ok thank you" I respond.
I stand there in complete shock, I had no idea what to expect walking in here - but this certainly wasn't it. I guess in a way it's a good thing that there's no fuss and it's not made into this huge ordeal, but at the same time it kind of felt like it should be more than this?
"There's cups and a water dispenser over there." She points down the hall way towards a glum looking corner area, no one there, just a couple of chairs besides a small water dispenser.
I guess this is it.
All the noise around me appears to stop and turn to silence as I pour myself a cup of water from the dispenser, sitting down on the chair before I open the first box.
"Hi dear is everything ok? We're closing now, you're going to have to leave." The shake of the receptionists hand bringing me back to reality as she speaks. I glance up at the clock hanging on the wall besides me - 17:30pm. I'd been sat here for almost 3 hours?! How had time passed so quickly, Im pretty used to zoning out sometimes and getting lost in my own thoughts but THREE hours?!
Shit, Lando! He will have just been sitting outside this whole time!
Scrambling to check my phone as I make my way out of the clinic doors, I notice 2 messages.
Lando Norris - 30 minutes ago
Charles Leclerc - 3 minutes ago
Lando: Is everything ok? I'm just going to get some food for us from somewhere, I'll be back as soon as possible, call me if you're done before I'm back x
Charles: Call me amour, I hope you're ok. Don't to this please, I can see where you are - I love you x
My heart sinks a little, realising again that he can see my exact location. I really do miss Charles and even though this isn't exactly the message I want to hear from him - just hearing from him at all always feels good, but I still don't want to reply to him right now.
I almost jump out of my skin as the clinic shutters come down behind me, smashing to the ground. Looking out across the car park, the McLaren and Lando are nowhere in sight, he must still be getting food from somewhere.
20 more minutes pass and thankfully It's no longer raining, I'm just sitting on a bench outside the clinic hoping for Lando to arrive, but nothing? Calling him again for the third time, what is going on?
Another hour has now passed. It's beginning to get dark here and I'm also absolutely freezing - my clothes still damp and the chill in the air sends a shiver down my spine. This is getting a little worrying.
I'm actually going to have to find a hotel. Im so cold right now I just need to get warm and get indoors, this is unbearable.
Just as I stand up to get in an Uber to a hotel - my phone rings. It's an unknown number? I answer, hesitantly. I was debating ignoring it but I answer it anyway in the hopes it could be Lando.
Complete panic in his voice. "Hello! Lilly!? please can you come to the police station? I've been locked up."
What?! Why?!
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YOU ARE READING
DNS 2
Fanfiction*MUST READ BOOK 1 FIRST* Book 2 of DNS, as we follow Lilly's journey throughout the next year of her life she must face tough decisions. Hurt, loss, betrayal and love. Will anything end up how she thought - or hoped it would?
