He looks at me blankly, no emotion whatsoever almost as if he hadn't heard what I'd said - but he had, and I knew from his reaction that I wasn't going to like the answer. It looked as if he was trying to bide his time and come up with some lie or excuse for who she was, but he didn't.
"She's my ex, kind of."
"What do you mean kind of? And why is she still messaging you if it's an ex?"
"Well we weren't actually together we just used to sleep together and hang out sometimes, she lives in Monaco." He says so nonchalantly.
Can I be mad? Because I am. Also I don't care where she lives - stop giving me more details about a girl I already now hate through no fault of her own. Also if I remember rightly, wasn't this the man who shouted at me in his apartment and said he didn't just sleep with people? So she was obviously more than that. Or he does sleep around.
"So is that what we are then? We just hang out and sleep together. Charles actually warned me about this, maybe I should have listened."
What is wrong with me? WHY did I have to say that? I didn't even mean it at all I just don't deal well with jealously, and I've completely lost it over a message. A message I don't even know the context too.
"Charles warned you about what? That I've had sex with someone other than you - before I knew you, bravo." He sounds less than impressed, turning his head away from me as he shakes it in disbelief at what I'd just said. Then he continues on before I have a chance to respond.
"And are you for real saying you should have listened? Are you actually serious - listened to what?! How bad I am I bet, how I sleep around? What a joke. If this is how fucking quickly you change your mind Lilly then yeah you should have listened to him, maybe you should have stayed with him in the first place."
This is not how I saw this conversation going, this isn't what I wanted at all - but it's completely escalated all because I couldn't keep my cool just this once and not lash out and overstep.
"Would you have wanted that? Me to stay with Charles?"
"Just stop talking Lilly. You're asking stupid questions now because you know you shouldn't have said what you did. You know I obviously didn't want you to be with Charles. Would I have acted or treated you how I have if I didn't want you? so stop now."
I slam the brakes on pulling over to the side of the road so I can stop and face him, I need to sort this here and now. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have said that at all Lando I just really like you, like a lot. Just seeing that pop up on your phone felt horrible, I just don't want to get hurt."
"Well if you're wanting to know if I'm still sleeping with her - I'm not, and haven't been for a while. You can have a look through the messages if you want too." He says, holding his phone out to pass me.
I don't want to be this person who needs to look through his phone to believe him, because I do believe him. I'm just an idiot. Still though - the emojis? Really?
"No I don't need to see, I believe you."
"You like me a lot? Is that it?" He smirks, taking my hand and kissing the back of it. "You just like me hmm?"
"Oh behave Lando." I slap his hand away jokingly.
"Well I love you, even though you're a jealous psychopath. Now can I go back to sleep?" He kisses my cheek before turning away.
"I love you to. Yes you may sleep." I tut.
I do love him. And my feelings had well and truly taken over. The second I saw that name on his phone something primal inside me wanted to tear everything to pieces, and at the same time I felt my heart rip from my chest - and nothing had even happened. Just the simple thought of him even being with someone else made me feel sick.
I wanted to never hear or see her name again, but I also wanted to find out every piece of information that exists in the world about this girl, and I needed to know what she looked like, what she was like, what was it about her that he was attracted to?
Maybe I am fucking crazy.
"Are you going to call your dad back? He might be worrying if he's calling you at this time, and we're only ten minutes away from the hotel now so it's probably pointless going back to sleep." I say, trying to guide the conversation back to some state of normality.
"Yeah I'll call him back once we're at the hotel."
Lando had been sleeping for over two hours, I don't think he'd realised how much time had passed and how close we were to arriving before I'd mentioned it. The missed calls from his dad were only fifteen minutes ago so he was most likely still going to be awake - even if it is after 1am right now.
Arriving back at this hotel felt quite nostalgic, I know it wasn't even that long ago - but it felt strangely special being here. I was angry and I was bold but I was finally acting on my feelings when I came here, and that whole night was magic. The nerves of the journey from my own hotel in Surrey just travelling here - all those feelings started flooding back.
Lando waits back a few paces behind me, I'm assuming to call his dad back as I see him put the phone to his ear while I make my way to the check in desk to pick up our room key.
Now I can check my email from Charles, I really do hope that he's ok.
Email from Charles -
Hi I'm fine just still stuck in England, please let Arthur know. Ive messaged on instagram but I don't know if he's seen it. My bag was stolen with my passport and wallet inside, phone and everything else. I had no way of contacting anyone. Currently sitting in this little internet cafè while things are getting sorted so that I'm able to go home. I hope you are ok."
Oh my god. That wasn't what I was expecting at all, I truly feel for him. He wasn't even supposed to be here in the first place, he'd only came to make sure I was ok and now this? Stranded alone with no way of getting back, he must have been through absolute hell this last day. As much as things aren't ok between us, I wished he wasn't alone right now. I wish there was something I could do to help. I wished I was there with him in a way.
As I begin emailing Charles back, Lando spins me around before kissing me, holding my face in both hands. What was that for?
He takes the room key from my hand and smiles.
"Room Number 4 I see, I'm surprised they still have keys - I kept mine."
I can't take the smile off of my face.
As if he kept it.
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YOU ARE READING
DNS 2
Fanfiction*MUST READ BOOK 1 FIRST* Book 2 of DNS, as we follow Lilly's journey throughout the next year of her life she must face tough decisions. Hurt, loss, betrayal and love. Will anything end up how she thought - or hoped it would?
