RIGHT 2

Chapter 2

Arghhh!

A low groan escaped my mouth, the pain was gradually intensifying, my vision was clouded with hues of orange, red, and black and my knees were trembling. Returning from Mr. Roosevelt's office was a far more difficult task as I had to trudge myself and this had an adverse resultant on turning my buoyant mood into dullness. Another shot of pain erupted in my head, but thankfully, I was competent to reach my room, without plummeting to the ground.

My body was hot, like really hot. One could easily cook the egg on it, effortlessly. I withdraw each piece of my clothing and went for the cool shower, so my body temperature can get even. The cold shower felt like bliss on my skin, my hand, abstractedly, reached near my neck and tangled with the chain.

His chain.

I had never removed his chain, it was his souvenir that will always remind me of him, I never wanted to forget him, I don't think I could ever forget him.

I had lost him.

An agonizing tear slipped from my eyes. A hopeless human is equivalent to dead. My heart was beating but it wasn't alive, my limbs were working, however, my mind is reliving the old remembrances of us, my physical presence is here but I was somewhere else searching for him, searching for his love.

Did I do right by leaving him behind?

Was I a selfish person?

Was I harsh upon him?

I see him. I do. Every night. The pain in his eyes of the day when I break his heart still haunts me. I see love, the love I have for him, and he will never know about it. But then, I see his betrayal, a betrayal that left a scar on us. I see the broken trust too, a trust which is chiefly the base of the relationship and now it was damaged and blemished. I see good but then I see bad, everything he did for me just feels insignificant in front of his betrayal.

How could I have given him a chance when I knew he never trusted me, even when I gave my entire being to him? His fears transcend his trust in me. A relationship asks both individuals to give, but it felt like I was the only person who was giving. He couldn't stop my head from spinning, and my heart from aching, when every time I implored him for answers, all he becomes was a mystery. He said, he did it for us, but I was never there in us, it was only him. He was selfish and he tried to control me, it was too suffocating, I couldn't breathe with unanswered questions and broken trust, he couldn't let me in, so I had to let him go. Even if it breaks my heart. So let him join me in that pain, walk hopelessly without any direction, and feel the same suffering that I bear every day. And one day, we may find just the right way to connect ourselves profoundly and perfectly. But that time the only difference would be that we won't be together.

I hate him.

You are a liar.

I love him. Still. To the point that I would never give my heart to anyone if it is not him. But I can't have him. Unexpected sad tears rushed into my eyes, which soon converted into tears of anger.

I took the right decision, if I had forgiven him today, what is the assurance that he would not break my trust again? Quickly, my palm furiously rubbed the moisture that glazed on my cheeks and left the cold chain to rest it on my chest. I stepped out of the bathroom, and the frenetic sound of my phone ringing boomed into the room. I glanced at the screen and saw Holden's name.

I sighed.

What were you expecting Emerald? Aiden's call? Maybe. I don't know.

" Hello?" I answered.

" Hey Emerald, I was trying to call you for the past four days, but you were unavailable," the thick voice of Holden reached my ears. These days I didn't like to talk with anyone, my considerable amount of time was spent thinking about Aiden, and which little time left, I utilize to focus on my work. As the day lagged, there was no fuel to continue the other activities, not even to answer Holden's phone call. I know I was doing wrong, but I can't help it.