Chapter 40

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I stared at the ceiling, a beautiful gold, silver, and white ornamented chandelier hung above me. My eyes were wide open, sleep was long forgotten. The sun was rising, I could feel the rays of the sun intruding from the small gap in the window, on my skin. The thoughts wouldn't stop inking the paper of my mind, the disruption in my heart was breathing heavily, and my eyes couldn't unsee the grief in his eyes. Why do we always have to suffer?

Eric's words rang in my head, he is becoming his old self.

Was he? Maybe.

Last night, I didn't stay longer after Aiden retired, with a polite smile at Samantha and Eric, I took my leave and came to my hotel room. I didn't have a place to stay, because the house I called mine wasn't mine anymore. Samantha and Eric urged me to stay with them but I didn't want to be a burden on them, furthermore, I couldn't burn in the memories of Aiden which that place holds, so here I was, where things started.

The very night was a disaster, I cried and cried, and until then there were no tears left. Lately, all I was doing was crying and grieving over my mistakes. Suddenly life had taken a turn, a twisted turn. There are only bumps and bumps on the road, no stability anywhere far, far distance.

I just stopped thinking and trying to make sense out of everything, it's better to stay ignorant and look dumb than be wise and get hurt.

My phone rang beside my bed, but I ignored it. There was no energy left to speak or to move, the energy was drained from my body.

Again, the phone rang.

This time, with all my energy I rolled to the side of the bed and seized the phone because it might be from the office, even if had we received the holidays for Christmas.

"Emerald, why were you not answering my calls? I was trying to reach you for the last three days. Well, I was calling you because I am in London and tonight is my flight back to America, so do you want to meet?" Holden rumbled, without breathing.

I remembered him telling me, that he will be visiting London to meet his mother for Christmas, we even intended to sightseeing, but now I was in no state to execute that plan, however, all I could do was at least meet him.

" Yes, totally Holden, I will text you my hotel address," I said, quickly.

Perhaps, meeting a friend might help with my emotional unbalanced. It's been a long since I had a friend connection in my life. The days had been so occupied with work and Aiden that other things were forgiven.

"Okay, I will be there soon," with that he hung up.

Shortly, I was on my feet, to take the bath. After I was refreshed and the housekeeping cleaned the room, the sound of a knock drifted into the room. I walked to the door and opened it, only to be greeted with a blinding smile from Holden.

He appeared feverish and handsome like the last time I saw him. His eyes shone with mirth and dazzling charm was adorned on his exterior.

His arms wrapped around me in a warm hug, and I immediately melted, this was what I needed, the comfort and support of a friend, and Holden was giving me the precise thing, like he always does, even without knowing it.

" I missed you so much, Emerald." He whispered, brushing my hair with his hand.

" Me too, Holden."

I pulled apart and grabbed his hand and brought him inside.

" How is London treating you? I wish I could show you some places around but unfortunately, I have a flight to catch this evening, maybe we can go some other time, also now you are going to shift here permanently, we have all the time in the world."

Uneasiness alleviates inside me, it was my dream to settle in London and work with Roosevelt Ambiance, however, now it seemed like it was not possible.

Even though Aiden would never take advantage of being the chief of the company, would I be able to work in the same place where everything falls like the sand of a castle? There would be constant reminder of the pain which I had cause not only to Aiden but also his family, and also how I ruined his dreams, without an intention of doing it.

Do I still want to work in Roosevelt Ambiance? I don't know.

I simply smiled at Holden, not answering his rhetorical question.

" Can we eat something? I skipped my breakfast," he questioned, sitting on my bed.

" Yes sure, I will order something."

I smiled, softly.

I ordered the food, and soon it arrived and he devoured it like he had been starved for months.

" Delicious food," he remarked, pushing the tray to the side.

I nodded.

We talk some more, about everything back in America and the lifestyle here in England. There was a certain peace and a good amount of distraction from all the dilemmas out there waiting for me. I was thankful that he came here.

" Emerald?" He called and I looked at him, there was no evidence of amusement in his eyes rather his gaze was burning with intensity and stringent.

" Yes?"

" Why are you still staying in the hotel? It's been four months since you came here."

My heart stopped.

" I just didn't find the right place," I said, hesitantly.

" Or you are just lying. I know when you are lying. What is it Emerald, is it because of money? If it is I can help you."

Warmth spread in my chest, he was so concerned about my well-being, even when I was just ignoring him for days.

" No, my internship is paying me well."

" Then?"

How do I tell him that I had a home here with Aiden but not anymore? Living in a different place felt so wrong when I was so used to staying with him.

" I had moved in with Aiden."

I decided to tell the truth but not entirely, his face turned blank.

" But we now are having some issues so I am staying here for some time," I added.

I didn't lie. Because, I firmly believed that Aiden would forgive me once his anger would be suppressed. He was hurt and didn't know what he was doing, he just needed time and space, which was only why I was maintaining my distance from him. I would do everything to earn the forgiveness, I had promised myself in the hospital. I was just waiting for the right time.

Disbelief and anger flashed in his eyes.

" Was he being controlling again? I told you Emerald he is not good for you!" He exclaimed.

" No Holden, it's not him this time, it's me, I am made a mistake!"

I was abrupt to defend Aiden.

" Don't try to defend him. He don't deserve you! I was not making any move because of you. You love him but Emerald, he is hurting you again and again. Why don't you leave him." he said, sharply.

What? What is he talking about making move?

" No Holden, you are getting it all wrong. He didn't mess up, it was me, all me. He has every right to be angry with me."

He doesn't know the truth; he can't simply blame Aiden.

His eyes fastened with mine, fierceness glowing in them, his gaze fell at my lips," You know what Emerald? Fuck this."

I didn't see it coming.

Fast and unexpectedly, his hands grabbed my shoulders and his lips crashed on mine,and I stayed frozen in my place.

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