My Riptide

Chapter 16: Damages

!!!Warning- this chapter brings up sexual assault, rape, panic attacks, anxiety and sensitivity!!!

River-

"I'm just really sweaty. I'm going to the bathroom real quick." She heads towards the bathroom, I watch her hands shake back and forth behind her until they're out of sight.

Fuck. What if she doesn't come back. Why was she acting like that? She seemed scared. God why do I do this to myself.

Was it something I did? The waitress brings our food and it's not long after that Peach comes back.

"Are you okay? Why where you shaking so much?" I ask her.

"River I'm fine, it happens sometimes." She sits down taking a small bite of her food. "Plus it's really hot in here." She adds, fanning herself.

"We can get out of here." I say giving her a playful smirk, I'm trying to ease the conversation.

She tilts her head and hides a smile. "No, we just got our food." She takes another bite of her food.

I'm halfway finished with mine and I could care less. I look out the window beside us and see that it's raining cats and dogs out there.

Well that's just great because the car is like four shops down from here.

***
Coral-

"Thank y'all. Have a safe night." The waitress takes the check as we stand to leave.

I open the door, but hesitate before exiting the restaurant. We stare at the pouring rain, and listen to the thunder.

The cold breeze hits me and I feel relieved. I step out into the rain, but I get pulled back into Rivers arms.

"Peach, the car is 4 blocks down." He say's disappointingly, he starts to pout.

"It's fine. I don't care its just rain." I assure him and scrunch my nose up at him.

He looks away in defeat with a smirk. "Your going to get sick and freeze your ass off."

"So will you." I poke at his chest. Don't touch him, don't do anything that will make him touch you. I sigh out loud. But it could be worth it all. I want him to make me feel better for a bit.

He takes my hand and leads me out the restaurant. As the raindrops hit my skin I feel recovered. The moment feels good, but I'm being dragged away from it by River.

"River hold on. Hold on. Slowdown." He loosens his grip a bit and slows down his speed. He turns to me, squinting his eyes from the water.

"What? Why?" I look up at him and brush his dripping hair out of his eyes. I flutter my eyes, for some reason it feels right to. He moves himself closer to me and us closer to the sidewalk.

I don't know what love feels like, I don't know how to show it. I want the fucking word out of my head. But I just need him for right now. I just want to kiss him that's all I want.

Yes I'm scared, I'm so fucking scared of losing him because I don't want him to love me then leave. It's happened to many times. But what if we just kiss and he won't have time to tell me. What if I kiss him and it doesn't mean I love him? It would mean that I want to commit to him but without barley committing.

I don't want to be the one to leave him. I just want him. I want to prove that lady's words was only imitation. Imitation only imitation.

River grabs a hold of my jaw and cheek. He moves my wet hair away from my face. I admire him for a second. I just want to forget everything and go numb. No more feeling.