MC Imperious Joe: What is good y'all? I'm your host with the most MC Imperious Joe and we're representing the 5th annual National Poetry Event sponsored by Gola bags, Loom Bands and a bunch of other shit that hasn't been relevant since 2010! Kicking things off tonight I'd like you to give a warm welcome to my man Eric Chon!
(Audience applauds)
Eric Chon: yes, yes, check it, yo
Toothpaste, goo waste, blue taste are what you do in haste
Plumb, drum, cum, are the mathematical sum for scum!
Random fan: keep dropping them facts my brother!
Eric Chon: Gloomy, zoomies, roomy are all things that make the bass boomy
Grapes, apes, vapes will leave you stuck like tape
Random fan: that's what I'm talking about homie! Educate these fools brother!
Eric Chon: Cake, lake, take all of what you call fake
Sand shoe, bamboo, pan view all things you ran through when they damn you
And you can grow a bow and crow with a toe!
(Audience applauds)
MC Imperious Joe: Alright, alright, cut his mic yo, that was... interesting to say the least... anyways up next we got a local dude by the name of Ladrón de Bancos, take it away man!
(Audience applauds)
Ladrón de Bancos: There's one thing people crave in the world today
One thing that makes people go crazy in a dangerous way
Something one desires to sustain their current lifestyle
Something that forces people to work for a while
There's a lot that will drive humanity to ruins, but nothing's grater
Than the bickering and skirmishes held in the pursuit of that metal and paper
Stamped with a figurehead, someone of vital importance
To continue their legacy by giving their country financial reassurance
I'm of course talking about money, the backbone of society
The thing that turns average citizens into people of notoriety
So to the investors of economics, I give my eternal thanks
You're the very reason that I am forced into robbing banks...
(Audience applauds)
MC Imperious Joe: Yeah, yeah, that was some deep shit man, our next performer needs no introduction, please make some noise for Connor Victorson!
(Audience applauds)
Connor Victorson: it's Con, here to smack the don, rip the wings off a swan and destroy these shit poets until they're all gone
What is up with that Connor bloke? He's like a horror trope, unbelievable like a horoscopes, his aura smoke could make Dora the Explorer choke
You couldn't have seen it coming if you were vatical, the Convict has come back from sabbatical to punish drab radicals and nab grabbables in a fashion that's emphatical, his rhymes are not grammatical, mathematical or pragmatical but they are dangerous like lab practicals and often ragmatical, these bars are venatical, ready to punctuate you in a way that's somatical
I've time traveled from the noughties to resurrect Hip-Hop and cherish it like the Queen's Corgis, I'll still rock shit in my forties, I sometimes work with Voorhees to sort these shorties that are telling porkies
Grinding bones of doubters into powder, grab the rest of their body and turn it into chowder, if you want to avoid that fate bump my music louder, hopefully the sound waves destroy your Wi-Fi router
He looks mighty fly in his bomber jacket, keep hold of your head before Connor grabs it and crushes it like a pomegranate, he'll target anyone who wanna rap shit, think you can withstand his onslaught? You ain't gonna hack it, he's so powerful, he causes Galactus to squander planets
(Audience applauds)
MC Imperious Joe: Wow... that was... intense...Well I think after that we could use a bit of a break to try comprehend what the fuck that motherfucker just spat at us... don't go anywhere because we'll be back soon!
(Audience applauds)
YOU ARE READING
Hip-Hop 50th Anniversary Celebration
PoetryHere are a few poems/ raps written in the styles of some of the songs and artists that inspired me to write rhymes! There's even a couple of skits thrown in for comedic relief as well as to appreciate the fine art of skit making on Hip-Hop albums T...
