Hip-Hop 50th Anniversary Celebration

Memory Lane

This is inspired by MF DOOM's "Red And Gold"

I remember back in Cogan, before I was as controversial as Joe Rogan and stronger than a young Hulk Hogan, before our primes, before the world had even heard of a Paul brother as in Jake and Logan, disguised like a Trojan, all you ever did was appall lovers when you decided to make a grogan out of our school slogan

"Constans Fidei" or constant faith for those unfamiliar with Latin, I thought you had faith in me but really you were laughin' , thought I could rely on you not to give me a shaftin', but really I should thank you because you're part of the reason I started rappin'

But I'm getting ahead of myself, we've not reached Archie yet, we're not even close to discussing how painful this story gets

You used to date this guy named Kaie who was a friend of Declan, Brad and I, he dumped you eventually and I used to wonder why, now I know when those feelings eviscerate this equates to the feeling of water that dissipates and precipitates in the sky

I remember back when we moved to Archie, before the Number 10 parties, before things in Ukraine and Gaza became gnarly, before Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar became Cardi, before Donald Trump became farty, around the time Christian Hook started getting arty, you went into recluse and we saw each other hardly, let me take a moment to go Back To The Future like the Doc and Marty

Borrowed Connor's time machine to tell you as a teen I was also mostly unseen, had a small circle if you know what I mean, it would seem that neither of us were really keen but that would all change and now I'm left thinking about what could have been

Take it back a little to just before I mentioned Marty and Doc Brown, let's skip over Archie and move straight onto Lockdown

To when everyone felt pretty lonely in isolation, to before Ukraine was rocked by invasion, to when the world started getting rocked by inflation, no single country came out of it as a thriving nation

But back to you, the Delilah to my Samson, you told me no other guys were as handsome but then put me under mad pressure until I erupted like a geyser, needed an advisor to show me where the lies where, my bedroom was my fortress of solitude, no one could hear me cry there

I could tell our stories through allegories, what's the story? wouldn't you like to know like Balamory? You made me think a gal adores me, then you chewed me up, spat me out and now you and your pals ignore me

I should have listened to my friends who said you were Toxic like Britney Spears' 17th single and singles how I should have remained at least then you couldn't snap me like a Pringle, you didn't get with me to date or to mingle, all you did was top the stress piled on my plate with some sprinkles, you're not to be trusted like a Tate or a Dingle

Now you laugh at my mates as if there's something funny, it's no laughing matter that you owe me a three figure sum of money, it's not a joke when I say if I ever see you again I'll stab you in the tummy, rip out your organs and wrap you in bandages like a mummy, blend your organs into a consistency that's runny and relish the taste of revenge that's sweeter than fresh honey