Hip-Hop 50th Anniversary Celebration

Diego Doyle

This one is loosely inspired be MF DOOM's "Let Me Watch"

They say people on tinder gel, Diego met this Infidel drinking Gin then Bell's then Zinfandel to try and bring comfort like winter smells, she said "it's time for change like when schools bin the Dell's" she then asked for his place of origin, he made her infer Hell and told her when you see Doyle, don't whimper, yell!

She shrugged him off so he began to remonstrate, he shouted "you ugly ass skank I'll renovate your face with the aggression I'll demonstrate!" Nothing he said seemed to resonate, she just stood there puffing her lemon vape, Diego was furious, grabbed that silly vape and thought about filling it with venom, wait... he realised her necks exposed enough for his knife to penetrate

Later that day he met this other lassie, she was sort of classy but her attitude was assy, her clothes were quite flashy but her face was sort of ghastly and her eyes were kinda glassy, they were progressing rather rashly, Diego invited her to go and watch Rick Astley, he said it pretty brashly and his voice was very raspy he said "if you need anything just ask me"

Literally seconds later she broke into tears saying "sorry but you remind me of my ex, are you sure you didn't know Kurt? He was almost exactly like you, only he was no flirt..." He said "God! You're so overt when you show hurt, mucking up the atmosphere you might as well throw dirt" she said "I'm sorry but when you go through what I experienced it's hard to be covert" he replied "rubbish! That's the same sob story every hoe spurts, if you don't want my company you might as well go squirt!"

Looks like he's onto his third, sort of pretty girl but from the looks of things a nerd, it's cool though, Diego's not the type to try and polish a turd, she confessed to being scared "you're Diego Doyle... you wouldn't believe the horrible rumours that I've heard..." he said "Don't be so absurd, you really believe the gossiper's words? If the same rumours were about you, I wouldn't have cared..." she said "maybe you are right, I just don't want to end up like those other burds..."

Diego knew from looking at her she was a loafer, the type of chick who'd just sit at home on the sofa, she was as lucky as a clover that he decided to come over, if he picked a rendezvous there's no guarantee she'd go there, he didn't want to end up being her personal chauffeur especially when she's sober and capable of driving the Range Rover, he told her out right he wasn't doing all the work and she told him it was "no fair!" he dragged her to the kitchen and choked her to death with the cord of her toaster

Doyle's on the run now because the cops are onto him somehow, it ain't no big deal though, he'll fry them up like kung pao

They call Diego the culprit, what a load of bullshit! He left these coppers lying with their skulls split

Saw another lass and tried to let the anger filter through but when the opportunity came, he grabbed his knife and killed her too

Still on the prowl, nocturnal like an owl, most these hoes are foul they make Doyle growl with a scowl when they throw in the towel, he takes pleasure in removing their bowels and burying them with his trowel

Doyle's sick of all these lesbians and zesty men, he would rather see equestrian thespians, he bought a pack of tarts and said "there best be ten" but when he saw there wasn't, he was feeling testy then especially when he couldn't find the culprit so just started killing pedestrians

On another occasion, he and his pals robbed a store, told the clerk "you best not be gay bro, get your ass on the ground if we say so!" his pall screamed "the cops are onto us Diego" had to dash quickly only had time to nab some free drano

Diego Doyle will fold you like you are foil, he'll broil all the royals that makes his blood boil then dump the remains in the soil, he'll drive a 12 inch knife through your chest from the point down to the choil then he'll collect the spoils

Hopeless romantic, rowdy and so frantic, using come and go antics to further grow transcripts, you know how he rolls, no trans chicks, only genuine females that he and his bros can hit

Diego kissed a pretty girl, left her covered in cream like a Mr Whippy swirl

He gives her breast a squeeze, they feel like the consistency of Red Leicester cheese, "she says don't try to pester me! Maybe it's best ya leave" as soon as she said that, Doyle the jester flees

Nah just kidding, he ain't leaving, he's like "what you say hoe!?" Covered her in white goo, thick like mayo

Diego doesn't care if they're hoe sluts with slow struts and no guts, he'll still feast on them like a box of donuts

Your girlfriend ain't safe around Diego Doyle, the man as hot as when we fuego oil

He came to belittle you and cause you disparage, he kicked your girl's stomach in, she had a miscarriage, got you like "that's the end of this marriage", he fled the scene in the fastest car from his garage

Who's to blame? Argh it's that darn Doyle, the man so smooth and stone cold like gargoyles

He wants to be buried at sea when he dies because the cemeteries lame. You ought to take a trip down memory lane, thoughts of the past may help remedy pain

Flashback to when Diego fucked your girl with his STD riddled rash sack after she smashed crack in his Hatchback