If Only You Knew

Chapter 19

Scarlett's POV:
I walk upstairs to my room where Colin is sitting in my room on my bed just on his phone. "Hey Colin..." I say quietly to get his attention.

He looks up from his phone before quickly clicking it off and sitting up straight. "Hey. So what happened?"

I sigh sitting down next to him on the bed and look over at him somberly. "Well... I told her about my feelings for her." I start, avoiding eye contact with him.

"That's a good first step. What else happened?" He queries trying to look at my face. I remember the kiss I just had with her and look away with tears in my eyes. "What happened? Why are you crying?"

I take a deep breath looking back at him again. "She said... that she wants to be with me but will respect my wishes if I.. want to just be with you..." I dry my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt while Colin watches with a concerned look on his face. "And I uh... I kissed her.. I'm sorry.." I whisper, expecting him to get mad and start yelling. But then I feel his arms wrap around me as he pulls me into a hug. "What... you aren't mad?"

"No. I understand you needed that. So.. did that make you have some clarity on the situation?" He asks loosening the hug. He pulls back but keeps his arms around me.

"Yea I... I think so." I smile sadly and grab his face softly. "Colin you are an amazing guy. God you've been the absolute best boyfriend through all of this.. but I need to try and be with Y/n... I feel like if I don't I'll regret it in the long run... I'm so sorry Colin. I do love you but..."

He interrupts me by kissing my cheek softly and smiling at me. "I love you too. That's why, I'm letting you go. I don't want you to regret not being with her. Especially because of me." His smile saddens as tears well up in his eyes.

"You're so amazing. And you'll find a great girl who won't be questioning her sexuality." I joke making him chuckle, rolling his eyes at me. "I just... don't know why you're so ok with this.."

"As much as I love you and want to be with you. Like I said I know you'll regret not trying it out and being with Y/n. Ive come to terms with it..." He smiles and kisses my forehead lightly. "I know she'll treat you how you deserve to be treated." He then pulls me into another hug as tears begin running down my face.

"I'm sorry Colin.." I whisper into his shoulder.

"Hey it's ok. Better now than when we're engaged or married." I hear him chuckle before letting go of me again. "Don't cry ok?.... I should go. You need to go back and talk to Y/n again.." He cups my cheeks in his hands and kisses me gently. "I'll see you around."

"Bye Colin.." I smile sadly while wiping the tears away from my cheeks. I sit and watch him walk out of the room. After what seemed like forever I get up and walk downstairs. When I get down the stairs I see Colin hugging Y/n then he quickly leave right after. "Hi." Y/n jumps a little not realizing I'm standing there.

"Oh, hey Scar.. Colin told me you guys broke up and said to take care of you." She chuckles awkwardly as I stand there not saying anything. "Are you ok? Do you want a hug?" I nod then quickly run over to her almost tackling her onto the couch. "I'm sorry... this is my fault."

"No!" I push off of her almost knocking her backwards. I grab her shoulders to steady her a bit, "Sorry. But no it's not your fault! Y/n I'm the one who broke up with Colin. I told him that I couldn't be with him anymore cause I know I'd regret not being with you. So no it's not your fault."

"Let's sit down before you knock me on the ground." She laughs grabbing my hands and sitting us down on the couch. "Scarlett I'd love nothing more than to be with you. I've wanted it for so long.."

I sigh looking down at the floor, "But..."

"No but. I still want all of that, if you do." She reaches over placing her hand on my cheek. I look over at her again, locking eyes with her. "Do you want that?"

"I do want that." I smile and wrap my arms around her neck hugging on to her tightly.

"Then, we can plan a date night for us to go on soon." She pulls back, looking into my eyes.

"I'd like that a lot.." My eyes flick down to her lips before going back up to her eyes. I start leaning forward to kiss her. But before our lips touch she places her forehead against mine, stopping me. After a moment I pull back, "I'm so sorry!"

"Don't apologize it's ok"

"Do you... not want to kiss me again?" I ask shyly, looking down at my hands.

"No I do! Believe me, you have no idea how much I want to kiss you again." Y/n chuckles then kisses my forehead making me look up at her again. "But I want to make our next kiss special.. so let's hold off on the kissing until our first date."

I smile grabbing her face softly, "You know what? I like youre plan a lot better. We should have our date right now"

We both laugh and she shakes her head, "How about on Friday? I have work tomorrow so Friday will work for me"

"I have to be on set.. but if we're going to dinner that should be good!" I wrap my arms around her again knocking her back onto the couch.

"Good thing we sat down on the couch," She jokes hugging me tightly. "So Friday night it is. I'm looking forward to it"

"Me too" I look up at her, her warm smile making me begin blushing. "Do you have to leave soon?"

"Uh" She grabs her phone looking at the time. "No I have time. Why?"

"Want to cuddle for a little while?"

"I'd love that" She hugs me tighter and kisses the top of my head. I can't wait to go on a date with her.