12 Steps to Not Fall in Love on Wattpad

STEP 3:

January 28th, 2023:

Stay in the Friendzone. It doesn't matter if she has a crush on someone else.

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So... I guess I owe you an update, right? 

It’s been a few days, and, I mean, a lot has happened. First, we’ve officially established a texting system, which sounds so much fancier than it really is. Basically, we send each other a bunch of messages all at once, like these big, chunky paragraphs filled with everything we want to say—random thoughts, stories, opinions—everything. Then we reply later when we have time. It’s not as scary as texting in real time, which is great for me because… well, have you met me? Real-time conversations? Scarier than riding on rollercoasters.

I don’t know how to explain it, but I look forward to her messages every single day. Like, I’ll be pacing around the house, pretending I’m busy, but really I’m just waiting for her replies. When they finally come, it’s like this little burst of joy—kind of like finding chocolate you forgot about in your bag (or money. Everybody loves money). She always writes so much, and her messages are full of energy. Talking to her feels so... easy.

We talk about everything. Books, music, random stuff we both agree. She loves writing, too, and she’s annoyingly good at it. I’ve read some of her stuff, and it makes me feel like I should just delete everything I sent so far cause it sounds like garbage. But at the same time, I want to keep reading more. She’s got this passion in her words, you know, and that's kind of contagious. 

And then there’s me, over here with my dictionary open on another tab, double-checking every word I type cause I’m terrified of messing up. But she doesn’t care. She says I’m "charming" or something (I know she's lying for my feelings, tho).

She pays attention to every little thing I say, like it actually matters. And when she responds, it’s like she’s shining a light on all the parts of me I usually try to hide. 

But… here’s the thing. She keeps talking about her. You know, the “holy blonde-blue-eyed goddess” she’s had a crush on forever. I just recently found out about her and, let me tell you, I already don't like that girl. She's too perfect to be true, and every time she mentions her it’s like I’m getting hit in the face with a pillow. A really heavy, annoying pillow. I know I’m not supposed to care. I told myself this is just a friendship. I don’t need any messy feelings right now.

But still. 

Like, does she have to go on and on about how her laugh is adorable, her hair is shiny, her existence is basically angelic? Ugh. I get it. She’s amazing. Can we please fucking not? 

I’m trying to stay in the friendzone, I really am. I keep reminding myself that I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not ready for all that. But when she talks about that other girl, it’s like… how could I ever compare?

Not that I want to. Obviously.  

Anyway, I need to go. Mom’s calling me for something. Probably to ask for help with dinner since my brother is a lazy ass and I'm the only valid option here to not let us go hungry.

Let’s just end this by saying: she saw “Miss Perfect” at prom last year and spent the entire night staring at her instead of her date. Like, c'mon!

I. Fucking. Get. It.  

And me? I’m definitely not considering feelings for her. Nope. Not happening.

But if I ever did… how am I supposed to compete with that? 

XOXO
Very upset Nini