12 Steps to Not Fall in Love on Wattpad

STEP 11

November 10th, 2023

Love comes in all forms and when you least expect it. Especially when you least expect it. So when it finally finds you, don't try to run away.  

———~ஜ🍫ஜ~——— 

It’s my birthday, but I don’t want to make this all about me. 

Not entirely, at least. 

Physically, nothing’s changed. I’m still dealing with the same struggles, still waking up in the same bed, still having breakfast with Mom and my brother like we do every year. But this birthday feels different. 

I ate my favorite food. Got a few birthday texts. Even put on a cute outfit and took pictures—something I never do, much less for social media. 

I don’t do social media. 

But today, I wanted a little encouragement. I’ve messed up plenty this year, but I’ve also done things I never thought I would. So dear me of 2024, to remind us of how far we’ve come, here’s my list of 2023 wins: 

- Got better at English. 
- Got a girlfriend (extra points for this one). 
- Came out to my mom, and she didn’t say it was just a phase. 
- Stopped being so hard on myself and started chasing my childhood dreams again. 

Not a long list, but it’s more than I ever hoped for. And the best part? The best part is her.

So, let’s take a moment to appreciate my girlfriend, shall we? She’s the highlight of my days, and this entire diary is basically just me documenting the moment I completely and utterly failed at not falling in love. 

She makes me as happy as a puppy in a new home. 

She makes me accept myself in ways I never thought possible. 

She’s the baddest, my partner in crime, the kind of girl I always wanted by my side—even before I realized I wasn’t straight. 

She checks all the boxes. 

She’s cute. Funny. Sweet. As hopelessly romantic as I am. Appreciates all my silly little gifts. Encourages every one of my chaotic ideas instead of calling them ridiculous. 

What more could I ask for? 

I don’t need some grand, movie-worthy romance to know I’ve already won. I don’t need extravagant gifts. I just need her. Her arms around me. Her lips on mine. Us, together, doing anything. 

I spent so long convincing myself I didn’t need love. That I should be focusing on myself. That I wasn’t ready for someone to love me back. But the truth? I’ve always wanted this. Someone to share life with. Someone to make the best moments better and the worst ones bearable. 

I just never expected to actually get it. 

And yet, here she is. 

She makes me happy with just a text. 

She makes me happy just by breathing on call. 

She makes me feel like the best version of myself. 

And yeah, I know I sound cheesy. But do I care? Nope. 

Her notifications make my heart race. I grin like an idiot whenever we talk. People notice—which, honestly, good. I want them to see it, to know I’m in love. Because it’s not just about how she makes me feel. It’s about who she is.  I'm proud of my girl.

The way she treats her family. 

The way she speaks her mind so fiercely.

The way she acts all tough but is secretly a golden retriever in disguise. 

The way she’s effortlessly talented at everything she does (okay, maybe not everything. Staying awake is a challenge. But honestly? That just makes her my own personal Disney princess).

Sometimes, I just wanna grab her face and squish it. 

And the best part? She’s mine. All mine. 

She’s helped me find parts of myself I thought were lost forever. The version of me that believed in my dreams, in my writing, in my ability to make someone feel less alone through my words. 

For years, I let doubt win. Let other people’s voices drown out my own. 

But she made me want to fight for myself again. 

I still have a long way to go. A lot to heal from. A lot to figure out. But for the first time, I’m actually moving forward. And she’s a huge reason why. 

So, for my birthday this year, I just want to say this: 

Thank you. 

Thank you, Universe, for giving me the love of my life in a way I never expected. 

And if you’re listening… maybe take the hint for next year too and throw in some real kisses while you’re at it.

XOXO
Nini feeling really blessed