12 Steps to Not Fall in Love on Wattpad

STEP 11

November 10th, 2023:

Don't listen to me and do whatever you wanna do. Love comes in all forms, and when you least expect. Especially when you least expect it.

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Today is my birthday.

I don't wanna make this too long tho, this diary is not about me. I mean, it is. Sort of? Okay, it's about me and my girlfriend. Better?

Anyways, I kinda wanted to share how this birthday feels to me so hang in there. I won't take much of your time.

At least, I'll try not to...

Physically, nothing has changed. However, this is a very different birthday comparing to my previous ones.

I'm still struggling with a bunch of things and I had a special breakfast with my mom and brother, like always.

I ate my favorite food.

Got a few congratulations here and there.

I even put on some nice clothes and took cute pictures to post later, something I don't do usually, much less to post on social media.

I don't do social media.

But today, I felt like I needed the encouragement. I'm proud of all the things I did this year, despite messing up most of my plans.

So, to celebrate and lift my mood, here's a short list of all the things I've achieved in 2023 that made this birthday different from others:

I got better at English.

I got myself a girlfriend (extra points for this one).

I came out to my mom and she didn't tell me it was just a phase.

I stopped being so harsh on myself and rescued some of my childhood dreams.

And that's it. You may think it's not a lot but I got way more than I hoped I would this year. There wasn't a party but I still got a lot of presents and the best one is my girlfriend.

Now, let's take a few minutes to appreciate her, shall we?

She's the highlight of my days, after all.

And this book is about falling in love with her, isn't it?

She makes me as happy as a newly adopted puppy.

She makes me accept myself with all the imperfections that I used to resent while growing up.

I honestly couldn't have asked for a better girlfriend.

She's the baddest.

She's the partner I've always wanted to have, even when I thought I was straight.

She just checks all the boxes, you know?

She's cute. Funny. Lovely. She's as romantic as I am and accepts all of my gifts PLUS is always down to try new things and support all of my crazy ideas.

What more can a girl ask for?

I am so blessed.

It's about the little things, we don't need a story our of a movie. I don't need big acts of love, nor physical presents other than her here with me. Her arms around me. Her lips on mine. Us together doing anything.

I just want her.

All I ever wanted was to find someone to love and to be reciprocated.

Some people don't see themselves getting into a relationship, marrying and having a family cause they love being single and would cringe at the idea of being so emotionally vulnerable. I didn't allow myself to be one of them. I would ask every single year for someone who would appreciate me and want to be each other's home while going on adventures we see book characters going.

I'm one of those people who dreams about meeting someone to share their life with, because life is lonely enough to not have somebody to enjoy the most beautiful moments and get comforted in the worst.

Being single wasn't my thing, even tho I've been single for my whole life, that's why she's the best birthday present I could get.

She makes me happy with just a text.

She makes me happy just hearing her sleep whenever we call.

I'm my happiest version whenever I'm talking to her, and her compliments are like the softest chocolate that melts in your tongue the instant you take a bite.

Her notifications make my heart beat faster and I smile like an idiot during our conversations, people look at me as if they know I'm in love.

I mean, I don't go out of my way to hide it. I want them to know. I want them to see the love written on my face.

And it's not only about how she makes me feel, other people can also make you feel good, it's about who she is to me.

Her personality.

The way she treats her family.

The way she's so fierce while stating her opinions.

The "I don't give a fuck" attitude while being such a golden retriever when you get to know her.

The way she's so talented in everything she does... by the way, I still have to find something she's really bad at- Oh! Maybe trying to stay awake? Tho that could work as a flex too since I have my own Disney princess.

But really, she never fails to amaze me. She's so comprehensive and selfless whenever her family needs her. She's the sweetest, sweetest girl and so fucking cool.

Sometimes I have this urge to just pinch her cheeks. Hard.

And she's mine. All mine.

Do you understand how lucky I am?

My girlfriend is amazing and I can tell the whole world she's mine and I'm hers.

She's also helped me rescue my inner child who was lost for so long. The same part of me who thought we were awesome and could change people's lives through our writing and make them feel less lonely. The same inner child who always believed we could help people the same way our favorite authors have helped us. She believed in our potential. And at some point, I lost her. At some point, that little girl had her voice muffled and couldn't fight against all the bad voices telling us how we should give up on our dreams cause we're not talented enough.

Now she's back, and I feel like I finally have enough strength to not give a fuck about what other people think.

I still have a lot to go through. I have a lot to face and a lot to heal but I'm taking baby steps, and this girl, my girlfriend, gave me courage to finally take action towards what I want.

I owe so much to so many people and I'm so grateful for all of them but this diary is about me falling in love with one of the most important people in my life so I'd like to say that, for this birthday, I feel like I'm finally living the life younger me wanted for us, and I can't thank her enough for loving me so much that I started to love myself even more.

This birthday, my only wish is to have her next to me while I blow out the candles next November.

And for her kisses, of course.

That'll be the perfect gift for next year.

Universe, thank you for 2023 and please take the hint for 2024.