12 Steps to Not Fall in Love on Wattpad

STEP 14 - BONUS

Don't write a book together.

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— To feel powerful, they break you until you're just a shell of what you used to be. To cover up their insecurities, they are loud and judgmental about yours. They do everything in their power to make sure you don't forget your place.

I don't need to look at her to know she's paying attention to my every word. I can feel her eyes on me. They're like a magnetic force that keeps trying to pull you, and you can't help but want to give in.

I can't give in, though. Not now. So I keep looking up at the sky. Here on the school's rooftop, which is the only place I can be left alone with my thoughts.

She saw what happened today. She's witnessed one of the worst moments of my life and yet here we are, here I am. I opened up to someone I just met. Someone who, for all I know, could have the intention of contributing to this messed up scheme to make my life a living hell.

It makes me more nervous than when I was stopped at the entrance of the bathroom by those girls.

Back then I knew what to expect, but now?

I can't read her, and I can't know for sure what her intentions are with standing up for the school's paria when we barely even talk. I could be all the things everyone says about me, so why is she still here?

— But they always forget that once they get all they want from you and there's nothing left to take... – with a deep breath, I finally let myself look back at the person I can't get out of my head since the first encounter — you have nothing else to lose.

She doesn't break eye contact. Though her gaze doesn't hold any disgust like I'm used to, I still can't get a hint of what she's thinking.

Cold sweat starts to form on the palms of my hands and I clench my fists.

— No morals, no shame, no self-esteem... – I continue, now staring into those aquamarine eyes with a hint of amber and grey fleets. How can someone have such mesmerizing eyes? It's so unfair to be this beautiful — and sometimes, not enough sanity to stop you from crossing a line.

She hums, her gaze exploring my face and stopping short on my mouth then going back to mine.

How can she make me so self-conscious with just a look? I feel like I'm...

— And what's stopping you from crossing that line?

What is stopping me from what?

I open my mouth and then close it again.

I was so busy trying to figure out what it was about her that got my body all worked up that her sudden question caught me off guard.

— What do you mean?

I don't know if my heart is beating this fast because of our staring contest or because that question hit too close to home for my liking.

Maybe both.

She shrugs, her expression unfazed as if she was only asking why don't we go get some ice cream.

— I mean, I saw what those girls did to you – my face begins to warm and I look at the side, focusing on the blurred figures hanging out on the courtyard. Why, out of all people, it had to be her to walk into that bathroom? —, and by the way you reacted, I'm gonna suppose it's not the first time. – I can hear her  clicking her tongue. Does she expect me to simply confirm that? — Am I right?

I hesitate. What can she do with that information?

Okay, this is not the time to freak out. And she is going to know anyway, someone is bound to tell her, even if just to make fun of me, so why should I deny it?

I lift my head and nod, making sure to not look away.

— See? – she smiles. I shallow dry. — If it keeps happening it means nobody in this damn place did anything to help you.

I swear I can see a hint of something briefly pass in her eyes. Something that gives me chills. But I can't get a grasp on what exactly before it disappears. I frown. Why would she be upset? She doesn't even know me.

— Why don't you take matters into your own hands?

I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing for a second or two.

Does she even know how this school works? She wasn't supposed to be asking this.

— Why don't we make them suffer too?

Well, first off because they own this place and the backlash would be worse than everything I've ever been through since sophomore year?

Besides, what was that about "we"? There's no "we" in this situation. She shouldn't be involved. She shouldn't even be encouraging something I've been thinking about way too much lately.

Intrusive thoughts are meant to be just that. Thoughts.

And why did she care? What does she get out of it?

— Absolutely not-

— I'm tired of this shit. – She doesn't even let me finish, pulls a cigarette out of her jacket and lights it, taking a shallow drag before blowing the smoke out to the side. All of that without diverting her eyes from mine. What is wrong with this girl? — I say it's time they taste their venom.

I let out an incredulous laugh. Is she being serious?

— What do you say, Asa?

And that's how I met my best friend.

But you don't wanna hear how she made me go up against those bullies who had been making my life a living hell, do you?

I know why you're here.

I know what you wanna know.

But you see, before telling you all about how high school was a piece of cake compared to what was yet to come and explaining how the heck we managed to survive and why the fuck I started to grow feelings for my best friend (feelings that shouldn't even exist in the first place) in the middle of a fucking apocalypse, maybe I should start from the beginning.

From how a revenge plan with the new girl brought chaos upon my school right before shit hit the fan.