12 Steps to Not Fall in Love on Wattpad

ᴛʜᴇ "ᴄʟɪɴɢʏ" ᴛʏᴘᴇ 💌

I underestimated how hard a long-distance relationship would be. 

This is the fourth time I've glanced at the numbers on my computer screen, but the clock seems frozen. Not even a single minute has passed. 

Ugh. Time is dragging.

Only one hour left of my shift, but it feels like eternity. My feet are killing me—probably swollen to the size of fresh-out-the-oven bread rolls—and my head is already pulsing with the dull ache that comes from too much noise and not enough patience. 

I clearly underestimated being a youth staff, too. 

Don't get me wrong, I love working with kids. They have a way of pulling me out of my own head and making me forget whatever mess my brain is tangled in. Most of the time, I leave work feeling like I did something good, something meaningful. I love becoming their favorite "playground friend," saving them from getting stuck in the slide, or stopping minor crises before they turn into full-on tantrums. 

But some days—some really bad days—I wake up and want nothing more than to stay in bed, away from the flashing lights, loud giggles, and tiny hands constantly tugging at my shirt. 

Today is one of those days. 

I just want to go home, take a cold shower, and feel human again. I want to curl up in bed with a book, let my body rest, and pretend this day never happened. 

More than anything, I just want to hear my girlfriend’s voice, even if it’s just for a few minutes. I want to tell her how tired I am, how much I miss her, how I wish she were here so I could bury my face in her neck and just breathe.

But then my brain reminds me how clingy I’ve been lately, and the familiar panic creeps in. What if I'm too much? What if she gets tired of me constantly checking in, always needing reassurance? 

I sigh, pressing my elbows into the desk and dropping my head into my hands. 

Please, please, please don’t let any more customers come in. Just let me survive the next hour in peace.

Turns out, I was pleading in vain.

— I think he already used the 30 minutes. Can I pay?

A voice interrupts my self-pity moment, and I lift my head, forcing a smile even though I can already feel the tension building in my chest. 

— Hi! Yes, of course. 

Okay, deep breath. I can do this. It’s not like my boss literally just left, putting me in charge of both check-ins and payments—the most anxiety-inducing part of the job. 

I quickly check the system. 29 minutes. Thank God. No extra charges, no angry parent, no argument about how “I swear I was only gone for ten minutes.” 

Once the payment is settled and the kid is brought to the front, I finally let myself sink back onto the stool. 

I glance at the clock. Thirty minutes left. If I can just get through half an hour, I’ll be free—free to shove myself onto the first bus that stops, free to eat the salpicão that’s been waiting for me in the fridge, free to take that glorious cold shower. 

And free to talk to my girlfriend. 

Speaking of her...

Before I can stop myself, my hand is already reaching for my phone. I peek at the security camera in the corner of the wall before pulling it out of my pocket. Just one quick check. 

The second I see the notification, my chest loosens a little. 

Lily: Thank you, beautiful. 

I blink. 

Beautiful? That’s new. 

She doesn’t sound annoyed because I spammed the chat a few minutes ago, does she? Or is she just being polite because she doesn’t know how to tell me to shut up? 

I hesitate. Is it weird to reply right after? Should I wait? 

Ugh, it's been months, Nini. Why do you still overthink about sending a simple message?

I type something quick and hit send before giving myself time to delete it.

You: A kiss would be a better thank you. 

WHY DID I SEND THAT? Seriously, Nini? This is your way of flirting? So cringe, oh my freaking goodness!

A reply pops up right when I'm about to scold myself for being such a loser, and I have to prepare for the first-hand embarrassment wave that will hit me once I reread that text.

Lily: IDBSHSHS muuuuahhh muah. This will do until we have a real one. 

I quickly shove my phone back into my pocket, pressing my palms against my cheeks to stop whatever dumb, giddy expression is forming on my face. If my boss walks in right now and sees me looking like I just fell in love for the first time in my life (which… okay, maybe I did), I’ll never hear the end of it.

Speaking of which—my boss returns before I can fully process that text, and I mumble a quick excuse before speed-walking to the nearest bathroom.

As soon as the stall door locks behind me, the tears come.

I don’t even know if they’re happy tears or overwhelmed tears anymore. These little emotional breakdowns are happening more often, and I can’t tell if that means I’m finally stepping out of my bubble by facing these constant anxiety episodes and not giving up or if it's just the fact that I now have someone that doesn't make me feel like I'm a complete idiot or a second thought.

I have someone that reassures me instead of rolling their eyes whenever I start to overthink.

Either way, all I know is—I really, really need a hug right now.

I can't wait to meet her.

But for now, fuck you, long distance.