12 Steps to Not Fall in Love on Wattpad

STEP 12

December 10th, 2023

Cupid on Wattpad doesn't care about your rules.

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I met a girl a few months ago, and somehow, talking to her feels like plugging myself into a power source. Doesn’t matter if I’m drained, stressed, or just existing in that weird in-between state where nothing feels exciting—she flips a switch, and suddenly, the world is alive again. 

She makes me laugh when I don’t even feel like smiling. 

She can ramble for hours, and instead of zoning out like I usually do when people talk too much, I find myself hanging on to every word, wishing she’d keep going. 

We talk about silly things, serious things, things I didn’t even know I wanted to talk about. And she never holds back. If she has an opinion, she’ll say it, but she also listens. She makes people feel heard, like their words actually matter. 

She laughs like a tiny, squeaky squirrel, and if that wasn’t enough to make me obsessed, her eyes sparkle when she’s excited. Like, actually sparkle. It’s distracting. 

She’s wonderful. 

She’s good at editing, and she draws these ridiculously adorable little doodles to apologize after arguments. She can also cook. One time, I dared her to make a real breakfast—something more complicated than a sandwich—and she nailed it on her first try. Meanwhile, I can’t bake a cake without summoning the fire department, and I’m the so-called chef in this relationship. 

Oh, and then there’s the piano. She has no formal training, never took a single lesson, and yet, when she plays, it sounds like a lullaby. I swear, if I wasn’t already in love, that would’ve done it. 

Maybe I’m biased. Maybe I’m too in love to see straight. But I don’t think I’ve ever met someone this amazing. 

And the book that brought us together? It became something so much more with her help. She took scenes I thought were fine and turned them into something alive. She made the words breathe. 

She made me breathe. 

Before her, life was... fine. A little dull, maybe, but I didn’t know anything was missing because I thought that’s just how life was supposed to feel. Then she came along, and suddenly everything was vibrant. Loud. Neon. 

She found me at a time when I was piecing myself back together, learning how to live instead of just exist. I thought I had to fix myself before letting someone in. I thought I had to be whole before I could be loved. 

But, when she showed up, being alone didn’t seem so necessary anymore. 

"Don’t fall for her," my brain warned. "Your life’s a mess."

"Online relationships never work." 

"She’s going to break your heart." 

"Real love? From a writing platform? You’ve got to be kidding."

I knew I’d have to fight my insecurities, battle the ghosts of my past. And they did come back, whispering doubts, trying to tear this apart. But she never let go. She was there through every breakdown, every moment of self-doubt, every stupid fear I threw her way. 

She held on.  

Yeah, it’s only been a year. And yeah, life will throw some real shit at us. We’ll hurt each other at some point. Maybe we’ll even have moments where we doubt everything. 

But I’d rather believe we'll come out of that stronger. 

Love grows as we do. And nobody gets to tell me what I feel when I know—without a doubt—that love was just an idea before her.

Now it has a name, a face, aquamarine eyes, caramel-blonde hair, and the most heart-stopping, knee-weakening laugh. 

So here I am, pouring my heart into these pages, hoping they capture even a fraction of how much she means to me. 

I pray for more years together—for her 21st birthday, her 30th, 40th, 50th. I pray I get to spend all of them with her, with our families and friends. 

Most importantly, I pray that next year, I’ll be the first thing she sees when she wakes up on her birthday. I’ll bring her breakfast in bed, plan a whole surprise date, and by the end of the day, I just want to see that smile. The one that knocks the air right out of my lungs. The one that makes me forget how to function. 

I don’t think I need you anymore, diary. Thanks for listening to my rants and witnessing the start of something incredible. Something I was terrified of but turned out to be one of the best things in my life. 

Maybe I’ll come back in a few months to tell you we broke up (which I really hope never happens). 

Or maybe I’ll come back to tell you about the s’mores and hot chocolate we had at our wedding. 

Maybe I’ll even tell you about our kids. 

Or our grandkids. 

All I know is, I’d cross any distance—physical or mental—to call her mine forever. 

Wish me luck.

Until next time!

With love, 
Nini 

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This diary belongs to the girl who stole my heart and made me fall in love on Wattpad, of all places, and with whom I plan to spend the rest of my life.

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"Whatever anyone says, fall in love."

— Oh My God, (G)I-DLE