12 Steps to Not Fall in Love on Wattpad

STEP 4

February 3rd, 2023:

Don’t get too comfortable.

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Hey, diary.

It’s been three days since she last spoke to me. 

Yeah, I don't understand either, it happened out of a sudden.

I thought we were okay… 

I mean, it’s not like we text all the time, but we’ve been good at replying once a day. We had a system, remember? A beautiful, well-organized system of long messages full of updates about everything in our life. But this week? Nothing. Radio silence.

We used to at least say hi everyday. Now I’m starting to think I was right. 

Absolutely right about not getting too comfortable around her. About the fact that she might get bored and leave. It’s not exactly a new experience for me. People don’t usually stick around once they get to know me. I should’ve known it wouldn’t be any different with her. 

She’s way, way out of my league—even as a friend. 

It’s like I’m the ugly duckling of every social situation. You know, the awkward one everyone avoids once they realize I’m not as charming or interesting as I first seemed. Other people—actual interesting people—might take pity on me or not notice right away, but eventually they all figure it out. And when they do, they always move on. 

For fucks sake, I’m literally comparing myself to ducks. How pathetic I’ve become. 

I hate thinking like this. I really do. But what other explanation do I have? Either: 

a) Something bad happened. 
Or:
b) She got bored of me and decided to stop replying. 

Or worse—she’s never going to reply again. 

I don’t know which one’s worse. On one hand, I don’t want to believe she’s going through something awful, because I’d be useless in helping her. But on the other hand… the thought that she might just be done with me? That she got tired of my weird texts and decided I wasn’t worth the effort? 

That hurts more than running out of chocolate. 

At least I can buy more chocolate. But with her? I have no backup plan. No way to check if she’s okay. I don’t have her phone number or even her name. I mean, who builds an entire connection with someone on Wattpad without even exchanging names? Oh, right. Me. 

But maybe that’s for the best. If she’s fine (which I hope she is), the only other explanation is that she’s ignoring me. Or forgot. Or just doesn’t care anymore. 

And as we say in Portuguese, aceita que dói menos. Accept it—it hurts less. 

I should handle this like the grown woman I claim to be and accept that she might not come back. That this could be another case of someone ghosting me, and I’ll have to deal with it. 

I’ve been ghosted before. I’ll survive. 

I only wish it was before I grew attached.

XOXO
Just sad Nini