March 15th, 2023:
Don’t invite her to write a story together.
—————~ஜ🍫ஜ~—————
She’s back.
Finally.
And I’m... relieved? Happy? Annoyed? I don’t even know. My emotions are doing some kind of chaotic samba in my chest, and I can’t tell which one is leading.
For days, I had no idea if she was okay, if I’d done something wrong, or if she’d just decided I wasn’t worth her time anymore. It’s not like I didn’t try to rationalize it—I mean, we’re not that close, right? She didn’t owe me anything. But still, disappearing without a single word? It hurt. I thought maybe I’d imagined this connection between us, that I’d gotten too comfortable, just like I always feared.
Turns out, her baby sister was born. A tiny, adorable, magical reason for her to go MIA. And don’t get me wrong, I’m genuinely happy for her family. Babies are incredible, little bundles of hope. She must have been so caught up in the moment, celebrating with her loved ones or helping around the house. It must've been very busy.
But is it selfish to admit I’m still kind of upset?
Because while she was off living this beautiful, life-changing moment, I was here driving myself insane with worst-case scenarios and overthinking everything. I kept refreshing our chat, hoping for some kind of sign, even just a, “Hey, I’ll be busy for a bit.” Something. Anything.
And now she’s back. Like nothing happened.
Of course, my heart betrayed me the moment I saw her message. All the anger and frustration melted into pure relief. She’s okay. She ghosted me for a good reason. And even though I’m still a little annoyed, I can’t bring myself to stay mad. Not when I missed her this much.
I hate this. I hate how easily she gets under my skin, how I can’t stay upset even when I feel like I have every right to be (which I don't have the right to).
I need to focus on something neutral. Books. Books are safe. Actually, I’ve been brainstorming a story idea, and she’d be the perfect person to ask for an input. She’s the horror fan in this dynamic, not me. Maybe I could use this as an excuse to suggest exchanging contacts—something other than Wattpad, so I don’t have to go through this again if she disappears one more time.
Or maybe that’s just me wanting her to stick around a little longer.
...I’ll figure it out after some chocolate. Because if she goes MIA again, I’m going to need it.
XOXO
Confused Nini
YOU ARE READING
12 Steps to Not Fall in Love on Wattpad
RomanceGirl has always dreamed of a life straight out of the romance books she spent nights wide awake reading. There's a small obstacle, though. Girl is afraid of relationships, and she's very determined not to fall in love. But, at some point in life...
