I woke up tear stains and sweat on my face due to another nightmare. I cleaned myself up. I was looking for face wash to clean off my makeup when I saw a glint in the back of a cupboard. I reached back and pulled out a razor. I had a razor. My heart raced and I tried so hard to resist the urge but I couldn't. I watched beads of blood grow on my waist and I dropped the razor. No. No I was supposed to be getting better. My three cuts stung. Stuff getting better! I was never going to get better! I'm fucked up! I hid the razor. I finally had one and I was supposed to be getting better. They don't know me. They don't know how bad I am. I will never get out of this.
I put on tight dark denim jeans and a white t-shirt with pink in the middle and a faint yellow building on top of the pink and NYC written on it. My hair was parted and pinned back in the middle and fell on my shoulders, some parts straight and others in little waves.
Lou and el had gone on a date (so adorable) and zayn and Niall were put grocery shopping. It was Nialls turn but Harry made zayn go and supervise. I was home with Liam and Harry.
Harry was whining to Liam about going to the bar and I laid in Liam's lap laughing
"Harry we have a 12 year old here!"
"I want to go to the bar!"
"No!"
"Yes!
"Harry you aren't going to the bar!"
"Liam stop being to mature! Em can come!"
"And what be hit on by 20 year olds! Watching people grind! Hearing people upstairs having s-"
I stopped Liam quickly
"MY EARS! MY POOR VIRGIN EARS! IM GONNA BE TOLD ALL THIS AND EWW"
"You'd better hope they are!" Liam said laughing and I winced.
Harry looked confused but hit Liam in the arm. I ran upstairs and heard Harry scold Liam
"Em?"
"Go away harry"
"Let me in embear, please"
He opened the door anyway and I lifted my head from my hands. He shut the door and sat next to me
"W-were you..you know..r-"
"Yes. Don't say it. Please don't say it. It's disgusting. I'm disgusting"
"No, they are disgusting. Was it...him?"
"My father? Yes"
"I'm sorry baby"
I nodded and he kissed my forehead.
"don't feel disgusting because of this."
"Can you not tell anyone? Please?"
"Of course not baby"
"Thank you" I said and kissed his cheek
He brushed some stray hairs from my face and took my hand, dragging me back downstairs. I ran up and hugged Liam
"Sozzies liliboo"
"Don't be" he said and kissed my cheek. Niall and zayn were back and we were waiting on Lou and el.
After an hour Lou arrived and el had gone home to her parents. I was tired and jumpy for some weird reason. Every time a loud noise was made, a phone dinged or buzzed, someone yelled, I'd jump out of my skin. And just to make it better all I could think about was the person watching me last night.
It got to 11.25 and I was falling asleep in Liam's arms.
"Louboo?"
"Yeah emboo?"
"Can you come cuddle with me? Pleeeease"
"Okay boo"
I smiled and jumped up. I hugged Liam and Niall, and kissed them both on the cheek. Harry and zayn had gone to bed half an hour before. Lou picked me up in his arms, as he did every time we wet somewhere, and carried me to my bed. He got in with me and I cuddled close to him
"Lou?"
"What up boo?"
"Can you sing to me?"
"Sing?" He sounded surprised
"Thats what i said" i smirked.
"What do you want me to sing boo?"
"Mmm autumn leaves by Ed sheeran"
"Do we have an Ed fan here?"
"Yep!"
He laughed and started singing, his voice hitting every note, without even tying.
"Another day another life
Passes by just like mine
It's not complicated
Another mind
Another soul
Another body to grow old
It's not complicated
Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
Hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And you're miles away
And yesterday you were here with me
Another tear
Another cry
Another place for us to die
It's not complicated
Another life that's gone to waste
Another light lost from your face
It's complicated
Is it that it's over or do birds still sing for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
Hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And you're miles away
And yesterday you were here with me
Ooh how I miss you
My symphony played the song that carried you out
Ooh how I miss you
And I, I miss you and I wish you'd stay
Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
Hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And you're miles away
And yesterday you were here with me
Ooh oh, ooh oh
Ooh oh, ooh oh
Touch down
Like a seven four seven
Stay out and we'll live forever now"
ED SHEERAN<3
he's just so perfect<3
HA my nan actually said earlier today
'Look at all the beautiful autumn leaves' and I was just like
'OMG EDDDD!'
stay strong my lovelies.
~em xo
YOU ARE READING
adopted by one direction.
FanfictionCOMPLETED . emilie's life is hell. she's been abused and thrown around like she's nothing. but when the famous boyband one direction adopts her, emilie's life changes in the best way possible...