adopted by one direction.

adopted-chapter 12

El told me all about her date with Lou, which was the cutest thing ever. I was so jealous. when do i get a boyfriend!

"You're a lucky girl!" I said and winked and she nodded, agreeing with me

I started to fishtail braid her hair while she took selfies of us. Yep. We take millions of selfies. All that's on my phone pictures are the boys and i, the boys performing and doing one directiony stuff, and el. Ones of just el and then me and el, a few of me and dani. So maybe i never want to forget anything about this life. this..good life.

We ate dinner on the couch while watching modern family, and we ate the gourmet meal of 2 minute noodles that were at the back of the cupboard. El and I were sharing and it was funny watching the boys slurp them and eat messily. Somehow a fight was started. Well not somehow, Lou threw some at Niall and zayn and it just happened to land in zayns hair. Now there are noodles flying everywhere and laughter was loud. We were out of noodles to throw and we collapsed on the floor laughing. I pulled some noodles out of zayns hair and dropped them onto the floor next to him, as he pouted. I got up and el did the same.

"I'm going to go and shower, have fun cleaning up!" I said and winked.

El and I ran upstairs laughing and went into my room. I threw el a jumper of hers that she kept here and a pair of shorts.

"Thanks!" She yelled and went to Lou's shower.

I grabbed out one of Harry's jumpers I had and went to the shower. I turned on the water and waiting for It to warm up while I undressed. I looked at myself in the mirror. i hadn't noticed much until now. Scars on my waist, stomach. Bruises still on my stomach and shoulders. I sighed and got into the warm water. I let the water relax my muscles and wash away the noodles that still clung to my body.

After thinking over what I was going to say to Lou a million times, I got out and dried myself. My wet hair fell down my back in a tangled mess. I slipped on Harry's jumper that fell to my knees. I went downstairs. It was about 9 now and there wasn't much more time to tell him. So now or never?

El gave me an encouraging smile as I took Lou up to my room. He looked a bit confused but went with me anyway. We sat on the bed and Lou grabbed my brush from the desk and span my around so he could brush my wet, knotty hair.

"I've got to tell you some stuff Lou. It's not good, messed up is an understatement, and im sorry I haven't told you sooner, I was ashamed. But I need to tell you," I said nervously.

"It's ok boo, you can tell me anything. you know that."

The speech i had rehearsed and foxed up many times seemed to vanish out of my head, but i don't care, I just need to get this out.

"Please dont hate me lou, i love you so much. i-i have more than the disorders you know about. I'm anorexic. El has helped me through what i think was bulimia so it's not as bad"

i turned around to see him. He looked shocked and it made tears run down my cheeks non stop. Slowly and gently he wiped away my tears.

"Don't cry beautiful" he whispered and I cried harder

"That's not all" I sobbed out

He pulled me into his lap and I caught my breath before talking.

"John r-r-raped me. More than once. He abused me r-really bad and a w-week after you guys saved me I found a n-note from him saying he would find me and k-kill me" I sobbed out.

"god i need to stop crying" i said, angry at myself for being so weak, wiping away my tears harshly.

Lou held me tightly for a few seconds and his chin came down to rest on the top of my head.

"I won't let John hurt you baby girl. I won't let anything happen to you. Ever" he said and I held his hand tightly.

With his free hand he dried under my eyes and kissed my forehead

"I love you so much Lou"

"I love you so much as well baby girl"






my cat is meowing loudly :/

and R.I.P. to my sisters baby, Luna, I miss you so much and I wish you were still here. I love you too my kitten<3 :(

stay strong my lovelies

~em xo