Psycho | Beatrice

13 | therapy

Beatrice's POV:

For the rest of the week, there's been no sign of Luke. Him and I both have been quiet in the groupchat. The groupchat has carried on as usual. Nate says some stupid stuff, Suzanne chimes in, and Raven tries to deescalating. Ethan's been present once again at school but claims to not have heard from Luke either.

On Friday at lunch, we sit around discussing what to do. Raven seems to be beginning to get nervous.

"He's just being dramatic, don't worry." Nate reassures us.

Raven looks around. "He's never been gone this long though. Oh I don't know. Do we just show up? Maybe we should check on him. Or we could text Liz."

Ethan sighs. "Well there's just one person who hasn't tried."

Everyone at the table turns to look at me.  I realize immediately what they're trying to do.  Heat rises to my cheeks.  I shake my head rapidly.

"No you guys."

They don't take no for an answer.

After school, I eat dinner by myself.  All my family is gone—dad in America, mom somewhere, and Devin at Chris's.

I spend the whole evening going back and forth on whether I should send Luke a text.  Part of me is concerned and actually wondering about him.  The other part of me refuses to cave.  I ultimately decide that he is just trying to have power over me.  I think he will come around.

I then hear a knock on my door.  I stand up from the table slowly.  The eerie quietness of the house adds on the effect. I walk to the door and I open it to have my emotions jumbled.

Standing in front of me with his hair all curly and fake glasses like the ones he wore when he met my parents, is Luke.  His lip quivers and his eyes go everywhere except to me. 

I stand there waiting for him to say something but he doesn't.  He just looks around, awkwardly scratching his arm.

"Where have you been?" I ask stepping back. 

He comes in and I shut the door behind him. The dude looks restless.  I want to break character and comfort him, but the other part of me needs to keep my stance. I need keep my anger.

"Your friends have been worried sick about you!" I sigh walking to the stairs.

Luke stares blankly at the ground. His emotions are absent. It appears as if he's just tired. "We can still cuddle, right?"

I want to say no, but I think about how that wouldn't be fair. He allowed it for me. I roll my eyes and I begin to walk up the stairs. He follows behind me.

I walk into my room and i close the door behind us. He glances around as if at least some curiosity sparked in his brain. I roll on to my bed and I scooch over closer to the wall. Luke is hesitant before he climbs into the sheets next to me. I turn my back to him and he wraps his arms around my hips, pulling his body close to mine. His hands rest underneath my shirt on my stomach. I feel his nose nudge against the back of my neck and I feel every exhale.

"I've missed you."  He mumbles. 

The feeling of his warm breath along with his hands on my skin makes my heart begin to race, but I remind myself to hold it down.  Then I gently feel his wet lips press against my neck for about a minute. That causes my heart to race even more. I think about whether to stay still or push him off. Either way, I'm not reciprocating it. I decide to stay still and to not move.

His kissing against the back of my neck begins to get more aggressive and short. Then i feel his cold hands slide further up my shirt softly until reaches my bra. His left hand slides around my back and then I feel my bra unclasp. His hand sneaks around once again and directly grasps my breasts tightly. Then i feel something hard against my butt. I let out a gasp.

"Fuck." I hear him say.

Luke pushes my left shoulder down towards him so I'm laying on my back. He crawls on top of me and slowly begins to grind over our clothes. I open my eyes and I notice him looking down at my shirt over my breasts. Something about him still seems off.  He still seems emotionless but also overridden with another unknown motive. 

"Luke, look at me."  I whisper. 

It takes him a second.  His eyes hesitantly meet mine quickly and then he looks back down with a sort of sad look on his face.

I reach up and I grab his cheek.  "What's wrong?"

His hand grabs mine and holds it forcefully against the bed.  The pressure being put in between my legs moves quicker and heavier.  I begin to lose some breath.  I don't want him to stop, but my curiosity overrides me. 

"Luke."  Yeah I try to say sternly. 

"Shut up."  He immediately responds. 

I'm about to scoff when all of a sudden he connects our lips with all the force possible. I'm almost taken away by it.  He pushes his mouth in to mine with a passionate kiss.  His hands squeezes my thighs and then fumbles with the button and zipper on my jeans. 

Fuck. 

I gain enough steam to push him off.  That's when I see his eyes red and tear marks on his face.   I stare at him with a demanding look. 

"I just miss you, a lot."  He explains.

I shake my head.   I grab his chin and tilt it towards me so he's looking at me in the eyes.  "No."

He closes his eyes.  That's when I realize he's not going to tell me.

Go to Chapter 13 Moving Along