Psycho | Beatrice

14 | math project

At school on Monday, I explain to them in the morning what happened. I leave out details of course, like the part where we were cuddling and making out, but just that he seemed off the whole time.

Luke was finally in English, which meant he has been avoiding the group in the morning. He sat by me, but we didn't say a word to each other. Today he seemed fully present. He even was answering some questions.

He didn't wait for me after class. He instead zoomed his way to the cafeteria. When I got to the cafeteria after him, I noticed he was nowhere to be found. Ethan and Nate too. It was just me, Raven, and Mia.

"How has Ethan been?" I finally ask.

She blushes. "Oh good."

My mind begins to think about Friday night. I start to think about the rush that Luke seemed in.

"Has he seemed different lately?"

She shrugs. "No he's been the same sad boy as always."

"Hey guys!" Luke smiles sitting down.

Ethan sits down at the same time. Luke and I make eye contact and he gives me a friendly smile.

"Where were you guys?" Mia questions.

"We've been doing some data gathering for my math project." Ethan explains.

What data? What project?

Devin and I walk home in our normal silence.  All that's been on my mind is Luke.  I think about his tear stains and his refusal to look at me.  I think about him crying to himself while we cuddled after.

At dinner, it's the four of us again. The dinner is quiet like usual and you can tell every person in this house is tired of something.

"Are we doing anything for thanksgiving?" I blurt out.

Devin laughs. "I hope not."

Dad sighs. "Your mom and I are going home if you would like to join."

I shoot a look at Devin. He seems to highly be thinking about it. He should, he has friends at home.

"I'll go." He finally says.

I look down. "I'll stay."

Devin tried a smug smirk on his face.  "Will Ben be there?"

The room becomes tense and hostile.  Heat rises to my mothers cheeks and my dad looks like a mix of anger and sadness by the way his jaw clenches.  Devin stands up to clear his plate. 

"Devin go to your room." My father says.

"Already going."  Devin yells from the other room. 

My mom and dad don't even look at each other.  They both awkwardly look the opposite way.  I realize that this is the time to ask for advice or even tell them what's going on.  Then my mom gets up to leave.  It's just my dad and I. 

"Dad?" 

My dad sets his glass down with excitement, glad that we're talking. 

I tap my hand on the table nervously.  "I've been kind of worried about Luke.  Out of nowhere he said he needed space for about a month but now he wants to disregard that.  It just doesn't seem like he's there at all."

Clearly that struck a nerve in him somewhere.  Initially, he's flinching at what I'm saying, but then he comes to terms with it.  "Maybe you should have a talk with him.  A serious one.  You each write what you're going to say in advance about what you feel and then you share it."

That idea resonates with me.  I do like that a bunch.  That way, we have time to think and reword what we're going to say before we even say it.  I thank my dad and I run upstairs.

I plop down on to my bed and I quickly call Luke's number. It rings a couple times before reaching his voicemail. I roll my eyes imagining him being dramatic, so I call him again. After a few rings, it picks up but is quiet.

"What are you up to?" I ask.

There's a couple seconds of silence. "I just got home from Ethan's. Probably going to bed soon. What about you?"

I stare up at my ceiling. That's when I think about Luke on Friday. It sends a shiver down my spine. "Just laying in my bed." I expect him to jump in but he doesn't. I keep talking. "It's seven. Why are you going to bed?"

Luke exhales loudly. "Ethan has been stressing me out a lot. My mental health has been...not great." He follows with a chuckle.

I can tell by the lowness of his voice and the deep breaths he's taking that our conversation should be a different day.

Go to Chapter 14 Moving Along