Psycho | Beatrice

35 | third grade promise

14 days until graduation

"Do you think he will do it?" I question.

Raven checks out her prom dress in the mirror.

She huffs. "Honestly? No. Im still staying home that day though. There's no point in going with the year ending. We're going to an amusement park. You should come."

I sigh while flipping through the old Tiger Beat magazine. "I just know Luke wants to go to school so I want to be there to support him throughout the day. He told me the other day his therapist wants him to go too."

"Maybe there's more than that stressing him out. Maybe prom is too. Or the end of the year, starting a new chapter. He doesn't talk to me about anything anymore."

I watch her as she spins around, checking her back side.

"How did Nate ask you to prom?" I ask.

She laughs. "I kept bothering him until he said yes. He thinks it would be better if we don't go."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Why?"

Raven shakes her head while climbing out of the dress. "It's really silly. It was some deal. It was dumb."

I can tell by her nervousness in her voice that she's uncomfortable so I don't press her further. I don't like to see her uncomfortable.

"What are you guys doing prom night? I mean we're going out together, but do you guys have anything else planned?"

I shrug my shoulders. "He doesn't want to talk about it."

She hangs her dress up in her closet and then she sits down at her desk.  She starts to look everywhere except in my eyes. 

"What's like...the furthest you've gone?" Raven asks.  "If you don't mind me asking."

"No it's okay, you're my friend.  He's just touched me.  Why?  What's on your mind?"

She stares down in her lap.  "Well Nate said he'd do the deal instead.  And...well that's going to prom together and Nate's going to be my first kiss.  Maybe more."

I raise my eyebrows.  She's never kissed anyone?!  I would have never guessed that.  "Raven,  that's amazing!  Why don't you seem happy with that?"

"I had it planned with someone else since third grade, but he can't anymore."

I notice a bit of sadness on her face. She bites her lip and focuses out the window.

"Nate," she says. "He's really sweet too. I should be happy."

I try to change the subject or at least think of the positive. "How far have you guys gone?"

"We cuddle a lot...as friends."

What the fuck is going on right now? She couldn't seem more upset. It's clear she's trying to force herself to be happier. She must've really wanted that other guy.

*

I get home and I find my entire house screaming at each other.

I run up the stairs and straight into my room. I look at my dress hanging up on the hook behind my door. I hope he likes it. It's a slim dress, which personally I don't like. I don't like the shape of my body but I know he does. It also a low cut. I plan on wearing a push up bra to give myself an extra lift.

I can just picture him gently running his hands down the center of my chest. I can't wait to see him dressed up nicely. And his cologne...oh my, his cologne. And his hair. He smells like a patch of flowers.

In the background, I hear my mother invite my brother to leave after graduation. He gladly accepts it. My dad scolds him for talking to our
mother that way, but Devin begins to yell at him. Devin's releasing every bit of anger he's had pent up.

"You've got two more fucking weeks and then I'm gone. I don't want to see your faces again." He screams.

A door slam follows behind, shaking the walls of the house.  I can't wait to leave here with Luke.