The next morning I awake to almost everyone in Raven's room. For the first time ever, my head hurts. I crawl out of the bed and tip toe over everyone in the ground. Then I walk downstairs and out the door.
I arrive at home. I walk up my driveway and I head to my front door. Inside the outer glass door is an envelope with my name on it: Beatrice. I figure maybe it's a letter from a family member during the holidays.
I step inside and i run to the kitchen to open the envelope. On the inside, I unravel two pages filled with words.
Beatrice,
I'm about to go get some help but before I do I figured you deserve to know what's going on. I just know for a fact if I didn't write this, you would be demanding answers like my mother and there would be an even bigger disconnect between us.
Shit, it's Luke.
I am worried you'll never want to talk to me again. I am worried you'll never see me the same. At this point, though, the only chance I'll have with you is if you know.
Ethan and I hate the Bandanas. We hate how much they are praised and how they get away with everything. They seem to have a perfect life. We've gotten in many fights with them in the past. We actually were one of them before we got denied from the football team. They kicked us out. Every time we'd fight, the school would side with them. So we wanted revenge. Ethan and I made an unofficial plan for revenge and began to prepare. This included gun ranges. The end was us killing ourselves.
I thought I would never experience love. I thought I had no emotions except sorrow and despair. The past two girls who I made out with (Jillian and Emma), I did so with no emotions. But you actually made me feel emotions again. I've felt joy and empathy like no other. I've had horrible mood swings since.
I realized I couldn't go through with the plan. I, for the first time in my life, didn't want to die. I had hope. I felt as if Ethan went after a girl, maybe he'd see it too and not want to go through with it. We made a deal that we can't die without having sex. If we had sex before new years, we will stick with it. If we didn't, then it's a sign not to go through. My goal was to not have sex, and that's why I made that boundary of a month.
I was scared of canceling on Ethan so instead I'm getting help and I'm turning him in tomorrow.
I get if you think I'm crazy or psychotic. I get it. I get if you don't want to talk to me. Regardless, I'm getting help so I should be better with or without you. I really like you, Beatrice. I wish this could work out.
See you whenever I get out of crazy sock jail,
Luke
PS please don't tell anyone.
Shit.
School on Monday just seems off to me. Rumors go around about what happened to Luke and Ethan. The most common one is that they brought drugs on the ground which I won't complain about. The most off putting thing is that the rest of the group is still clueless. They know the guys didn't do that.
Mia also has chosen to not sit by us anymore. Morning, lunch, and after school.
Nobody knows what happened to her. I throw her a smile every here and there in English, but our conversations are cut short by her one word answers. It's very apparent she's been losing sleep and even weight.
The other people at our table ask me about what I know, to which I deny everything. I pretend to be as clueless and as upset as the rest of my group.
I'm pretty quiet at lunch too. It's just Raven and Nate going back and forth. Every so often, I throw in some words but it's pretty uneventful. Raven and Nate both seem offput too by everything going on...especially Raven. She seems to constantly be on the look out.
After school, the group doesn't meet anymore. There's basically no group to begin with.
The biggest excitement this week is my family coming home. That's added stress on me as well due to the accusations my brother throws around about my mother.
YOU ARE READING
Psycho | Beatrice
Fanfiction"Luke," I cry. He interrupts me. "I need you to trust me. Please. I love you and I would never hurt you. We're going to get out of here."
